Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.
An interesting thing is how much more sensitive my girls have become since we have started GBD about three years ago, before which we were punitively minded. (They are 9.75 and 8.5 years old right now)
Both girls, at this point in time, will tell us that a tone in our voices or a look on our faces really hurt their feelings. Sometimes they will break down in tears over a seeming "rebuke" which really, compared to the way we used to talk to them, is really mild... It is just that now they are more sensitive to their own place in our home and their value as humans. They actually believe they have the right to speak up when their feelings are hurt and they are fairly confident (only fairly because my dh and I aren't great at GBD, we are still in recovery ) that we won't squash them if they try to voice their discontent, hurt, or disagreement.
I feel it is such a blessing that we found GBD while my girls were young enough yet to recover that sense of "self" which was being minimized by our punitive practices and mindset.
Thank you for that--I believed in theory that GBD created sensitive children, or at least that punitive/harsh responses requires harsher responses in the future.
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