Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas

~* Please help keep GCM free by using our
Amazon.com affiliate link. Thank you! *~


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Specific Issues > Gentle Discipline *Public*
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Gentle Discipline *Public* A public forum.
GCM Webpage: Gentle Discipline

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-25-2012, 08:38 AM   #1
jandjmommy
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 750
jandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of light
Default Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

DS newly 8 has been yelling/disrespectful/hostile on and off for a few weeks. Some of it is likely a result of a very busy schedule (which he is not used to), including upwards of 5 baseball events each week. I'm wondering if he's upset because he isn't *with* the family even though we're present at all of his practices & games.
I don't know how to manage this and I feel like I'm doing it wrong from a GBD perspective.
Example:
Me: [after evening and morning review of our schedule for the day] It's time to start your math.
DS: yells about how he will not do it, I can't make him, I'm so mean, he hates math, etc.
Me: It's time to start your math. You want to go outside right now and you'll have plenty of time for that after math so let's get going on it.
DS: yells again, or says he's sleepy and throws himself onto his bed.
Me: Fine, you're welcome to take a nap or rest. When you get up we'll work on your math.
DS: yells again, escalating negativity.
Me: We have a lot to do today. [baseball] Practice is at 5. We have to leave here at 11 to x, y, and z. I have time now to help you with math, or I have time at 5. You need to call your coach if you choose 5.
DS: yells and starts his math; simmers down after about 20 min and is happy with his progress when he's done.

So that's when he's just yelling. Is that OK? Several times though he's been very disrespectful towards me, not just angry and voicing his opinion of doing [math]. Then it goes like this:

Me: You are being disrespectful. It's ok that you don't feel like doing math but it's not ok to speak to me like that.
DS: sometimes calms down and apologizes, and we're good; sometimes escalates.
Me: You need to stop being disrespectful. If you do not recover you will not go to practice since I can't trust that you won't disrespect/be negative with the coach or your team.
DS: sometimes recovers and we talk about ways to do that; sometimes escalates.
Me: You will not go to practice today. Do you want to call Coach or do you want me to? I texted the coach. You need to apologize to him for missing practice tomorrow at the game.

He missed one Cub Scouts meeting and one baseball practice this way. Then warming up before a game he started being rude to DH and me, and saying negative things to his teammates who were warming up with him. I took him aside as casually as I could to help him save face and told him that I would take him home if he did not recover. He continued, so I told him to go tell his coach that he had to leave. DH then stepped in and gave him another chance, and he recovered well with no further problems.

I don't want to punish him but I do want to require that he respects us and his team/friends/etc. How to follow "family gets your best or no one gets the rest" the right way -- or is that really GBD? Should I just try again and again and again until he recovers or is there a point at which he truly should not put in a situation outside the family where he may negatively affect others?
ETA: DH and I disagree on having him miss activities. DH says he has a responsibility to his team. I say he has a greater responsibility to his family. --?
__________________
DS 10
DD 7
north Phoenix

Last edited by jandjmommy; 04-25-2012 at 08:40 AM.
jandjmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2012, 09:30 AM   #2
Petie
Climbing Rose
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,289
Petie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

We don't miss activities, for a couple of reasons.

1. The kids made a commitment to that activity and following through, is in itself self discipline.

2. I paid money for the activity and it will not be wasted.


With that said, other things are optional. For instance, no one says he has to go outside to play with friends, or go to the store with mom where he can help pick things out. So for us, it's the optional things that they miss out on.

In regards to the attitude about doing his work, I would simply say, "OK buddy, no math now, how about grammar instead, then later we can do math." Yes, it's putting it off, but it's giving him that out and then later, you bring it out to work on it. Or, you could say, "hey, we need to do x,y,z for school today, which do you want to do first." He may just be feeling out of control and you need to account for that and give him control where ever you can.
Petie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Petie For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-26-2012)
Old 04-26-2012, 09:38 AM   #3
J3K
Deactivated
 
Hi ! I'm Myrtle. I like to pretend I'm an R.O.U.S.
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: under the cat
Posts: 17,112
J3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond reputeJ3K has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

My issue with "Family Gets the Best or No One Get the Rest" is that it leaves no room for "being at home". You have to be on your best manners all the time. And that's wearing. I'm 41 years old. I like knowing I can come home and let my hair down. I can be ME. The sometimes cranky introvert who likes to paint her nails and watch tv. Gearing up to go out is stressful. I do it , I have to , but I don't like it. I get ready , put on my game face and head out the door. I'm polite , I'm sociable, I may be cranky a bit , but I'm for the most part , agreeable.
Then I know I have HOME to come back to. Where I can put on my sweat pants and just chill.

This notion that I have to be "on" while at home , that I must be perfect and behave all the time or my outside friends get taken away....it's odd. And a bit cruel.

Sometimes outside friends (even though I hate getting out) are the only things holding me to sanity. The idea I must be the perfect mother to my kids all week , the perfect wife to my husband before I'm allowed out....it doesn't translate.

Likewise for a child...their outside time may be refreshing. It may be stressful to get there..but that's what family is for. They KNOW you , they make allowances.

To the disrespect : "I hear your frustration , your words are rude. I won't listen to it."

To the scheduling : Here's your calendar. I'll help you if you want , write down what you need done before practices...

And if it looks to be too much on his plate , help him navigate that too.
J3K is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to J3K For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-26-2012), kimberly569 (04-30-2012), Rabbit (04-26-2012), Sparrow (04-26-2012)
Old 04-26-2012, 10:49 AM   #4
jandjmommy
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 750
jandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by J3K View Post
My issue with "Family Gets the Best or No One Get the Rest" is that it leaves no room for "being at home"....

This notion that I have to be "on" while at home , that I must be perfect and behave all the time or my outside friends get taken away....it's odd. And a bit cruel.

Yes -- this is why I'm not sure the "family gets your best..." thing even goes with GBD; I've just seen it a lot on the boards so it's in my head. I absolutely do not require -- or desire! -- forced cheerfulness or "on" behavior. I'd think that he could do better with a break from home except that a few times he has carried his mood with him to activities. That's why I kept him home, not a "you upset me so you can't go" thing.
I think I'll just push through without keeping him home in the future. The end of the crazy schedule is just a couple weeks away anyway
Thanks!
__________________
DS 10
DD 7
north Phoenix
jandjmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2012, 11:07 AM   #5
Petie
Climbing Rose
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,289
Petie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

For me, I don't feel that my kids need to be "on" all the time, or cheery all the time. But if they are particularly difficult, as in, screaming, crying, throwing things, etc. Then I don't feel bad about saying they can't go play with their friends. While I can see that this concept could be used punitively very easily, i.e. "oh well, you didn't clean you plate off, you know, family gets your best" I don't feel it inherently does that. For us to put this into place it has to be a series of negative behaviors, fighting with sibs+refusing to do chores+yelling at me+refusing to do school work, that sort of thing. It isn't that they can't be themselves, but I'm sure that if dh came home from work and I started screaming at him, throwing things around, hitting him, and then said, "so where are we going for dinner tonight" he probably wouldn't be in the mood to take me out.
Petie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Petie For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-27-2012), teamommy (04-27-2012)
Old 04-26-2012, 10:52 PM   #6
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Family gets your best or no one gets the rest is most assuredly GBD I developed the discipline style and I came up with the principle But let's make sure you're using it correctly--and I assure you that it leaves PLENTY of room for just being at home. Hanging out lounging and watching tv with your family in your sweats fits perfectly fine with "your best" if you are TREATING everyone with respect. "Your best" isn't about pretending or putting on a show or using the fancy china you only save for visits from the queen

What it does mean is that you don't get to treat your family like garbage and then go to sleepovers and play dates and treat the rest of the world like royalty Plus, ime, if my children can't keep themselves together without falling apart then they are getting sick or overtired or otherwise not able to be successful at other events either.

Here is the article about it http://aolff.org/quick-reference/fee...g-successfully

here's an article about older children and GBD http://aolff.org/grace-based-discipl...and-pull-weeds

One thing that I find myself wondering when I read the OP is if ds is an introvert and if the current schedule might really be overwhelming him. Plus, that level of physical activity is exhausting. Is he getting enough rest and eating enough to sustain this level of physical exertion?
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-27-2012), MercyInDisguise (04-27-2012), MomtoJGJ (04-27-2012), PrincessAnika (04-27-2012), SalH (04-27-2012), Sparrow (04-26-2012), teamommy (04-27-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 12:10 AM   #7
Petie
Climbing Rose
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,289
Petie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond reputePetie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Crystal, you are so well spoken. Or, in this case, well written. I love the way you explain it.
Petie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Petie For This Useful Post:
ArmsOfLove (04-27-2012), jandjmommy (04-27-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 12:23 AM   #8
Rabbit
Deactivated
I support GCM!
 
You know how we say, "It works both ways!"
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: In the Neighborhood
Posts: 39,704
Rabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond reputeRabbit has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post
What it does mean is that you don't get to treat your family like garbage and then go to sleepovers and play dates and treat the rest of the world like royalty
That makes absolute sense to me, but it isn't what "family gets the best" communicates. I don't expect to get the very best behavior my children are capable of before I let them go out. I do expect them to meet certain standards, or clearly we've got other concerns that need dealing with before going out. "Family gets the best" sounds like a phrase from fundamentalist/conservative homeschooling families, and it will always have those arrogant, isolationist overtones. Family gets respect. I don't give a rat's rear end what "the best" is.

How you behave with family is most definitely an indicator of how capable you are of handling yourself out and about. And no, you never get to crap on your family and expect to have the rest of the world handed to you on a platter. That would be just plain creepy.

---------- Post added at 02:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:19 AM ----------

And as a general philosophy, it sounds awful. We don't get the best, and everybody else the dregs. We don't save the choicest cut of beef, the biggest slice of the pie, and give company or friends the left overs. It sounds horribly selfish.

We take care of family, absolutely. But that doesn't mean we reserve the best for ourselves, all the time.

Last edited by Rabbit; 04-27-2012 at 12:25 AM.
Rabbit is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Rabbit For This Useful Post:
itzj (04-28-2012), J3K (04-27-2012), jandjmommy (04-27-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 12:44 AM   #9
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

The article about it addresses what is meant by it and none of that is in there. fwiw it's our family motto that I shared with the world in the context of encouraging other families to come up with their own mottos. If there's baggage attached to the phrase for someone then by all means word your own motto

When I use the words my children know what I mean--since they are the ones I'm disciplining that is what matters most

---------- Post added at 11:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:39 PM ----------

also, there is no hint at all of giving others less than good treatment. There is a very sad reality that if you're yelling at your children and the phone rings you'll pick it up and sound sweet; if you're screaming at your mom and your friend asks you to come out and play you'll smile and run off and have a great time. You give your best to the people and things that matter to you--and since God put you in a family it's important for your family to matter to you. If you give your family garbage, it will affect your own development. You will be the worse for it.

How we treat people is a choice. I believe we need to own that choice. And I believe that choice comes with natural consequences. You don't get to treat your parents like they are garbage and then have them give you all sorts of amazing things.

And keeping in mind that our family is alphabet soup wrt special needs dx, I'm not talking about unrealistic expectations. In our home we treat each other with respect. When we don't, we apologize and make amends. And if we can't muster even that then we don't take our grumpy selves around other people.
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
Heather Micaela (04-27-2012), jandjmommy (04-27-2012), MercyInDisguise (04-27-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 02:26 AM   #10
SalH
Rose Trellis
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 1,590
SalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond reputeSalH has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

I've not read the stuff about this but I have kind of been doing it with DS re scouts. I am subbing this now because I need to read what you say about it Crystal.

So far my non-learned attempts have been to the tune that if DS1 can't cope with school / work / family life because scouts has been too late, and left him too tired, or if I can see that schoolwork has been slow etc because he's too tired BEFORE scouts - then I put family life and schoolwork above the scouts (or other) commitment, which we respect as a commitment but are not going to be beholden to when every other part of the mama in me knowa what is best for us as a family unit / team.

Guess I will go and read now how this shapes up! DH and I need to understand this and work together because we aren't always exactly on the same page with whether it's right to cancel scouts or not.
__________________
Sal (41) wife to Matthew (41)
Home educating mummy to: DS1 (13), DS2 (11) DS3 (9), DD1 (7), DD2 (5) and DD3 (3).
SalH is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SalH For This Useful Post:
ArmsOfLove (04-27-2012), jandjmommy (04-27-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 05:41 AM   #11
jandjmommy
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 750
jandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of lightjandjmommy is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post
Family gets your best or no one gets the rest is most assuredly GBD I developed the discipline style and I came up with the principle But let's make sure you're using it correctly--and I assure you that it leaves PLENTY of room for just being at home. Hanging out lounging and watching tv with your family in your sweats fits perfectly fine with "your best" if you are TREATING everyone with respect. "Your best" isn't about pretending or putting on a show or using the fancy china you only save for visits from the queen

What it does mean is that you don't get to treat your family like garbage and then go to sleepovers and play dates and treat the rest of the world like royalty Plus, ime, if my children can't keep themselves together without falling apart then they are getting sick or overtired or otherwise not able to be successful at other events either.

Here is the article about it http://aolff.org/quick-reference/fee...g-successfully

here's an article about older children and GBD http://aolff.org/grace-based-discipl...and-pull-weeds

One thing that I find myself wondering when I read the OP is if ds is an introvert and if the current schedule might really be overwhelming him. Plus, that level of physical activity is exhausting. Is he getting enough rest and eating enough to sustain this level of physical exertion?
Thank you! I'll read the articles; thanks for the links and explanation. Not sure about introvert; DS is a hybrid like me--loves people and being around them feeds him, but he's equally happy alone with his thoughts (or Legos or a book The physical activity is more than he's used to; though he's usually outside the same amount of time, baseball has added extra effort for sure! But he's eating a lot more and resting well. I will definitely be thinking about his energy level more now; thanks for pointing out that possibility.
Now, what about time lapse? The issues usually happen in the morning and activities are in the evening. If he recovers by the time the activity comes up is it OK to explain to him that as he has recovered I trust that he'll have a great time at the activity? Or is that permissive?
__________________
DS 10
DD 7
north Phoenix
jandjmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2012, 05:58 AM   #12
mamahammer
Deactivated
 
There must be beaches in heaven
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 7,516
mamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond reputemamahammer has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Here's where I get stuck -

Sometimes, I am seriously *stuck*. Stuck in my own muck and mire and bad feelings and bad attitude. And for better or worse, stuck in my less-than-stellar treatment of my family.

When that happens, we *have* to get out. Out of the house where everyone can do something that doesn't have to do with me. A change of scenery that breaks the cycle in my brain.

When that happens, my wonderful husband will send me out the door to go have dinner with a friend. A pedicure. Bible study. Whatever.

The thought that, because I'm caught for a couple of hours in a downward spiral with my family (which happens more often than i'd like to admit), I should disallow myself interaction with others is suffocating. Not for anyone else. Just speaking for me.

And one of my children is *just* like that.

It's not that I think the concept is bad, ill-conceived, not grace-based. . I just know that it doesn't work to the betterment of all of my family.

Sent from my DROID2 using Tapatalk 2
mamahammer is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mamahammer For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-28-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 06:19 AM   #13
teamommy
Rose Garden
 
Spring!
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,024
teamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond reputeteamommy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Del

Last edited by teamommy; 03-17-2019 at 04:42 PM.
teamommy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to teamommy For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-28-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 09:24 AM   #14
Love_Is_Patient
Rose Trellis
 
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,025
Love_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond reputeLove_Is_Patient has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Well, for older kids poor behavior (for example at school), or even poor grades, can have the consequence of the child not being allowed (by the school) to participate on the team. So, I think missing sports as a consequence of poor behavior is not at all unreasonable.
__________________
Rachel, mom to ds (14) and dd (almost 12) and dd2 (3!)
Love_Is_Patient is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Love_Is_Patient For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-28-2012)
Old 04-27-2012, 09:43 AM   #15
jujubnme
Rose Garden
 
Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:18)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,493
jujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond reputejujubnme has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Family Gets Your Best or No One Gets the Rest Help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jandjmommy View Post
Now, what about time lapse? The issues usually happen in the morning and activities are in the evening. If he recovers by the time the activity comes up is it OK to explain to him that as he has recovered I trust that he'll have a great time at the activity? Or is that permissive?
If the issues are primarily happening in the morning, would it help/be a possibility to switch up his schedule a bit so he's past the morning grumpies when he has to buckle down on the focused schoolwork? It does sound like maybe he's just extra tired.

I do think it's fine to let him do the evening activities when the issue has resolved.
__________________
ANDREA

wife to my awesome dh since 8/2000 - mom to my sweet jujube ds since 9/2001
all INFPs, living in harmonious chaos.

GLORY be to God for dappled things---
...
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.

GERARD MANLY HOPKINS

jujubnme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jujubnme For This Useful Post:
jandjmommy (04-28-2012), The Tickle Momster (04-27-2012)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:00 AM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2017 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.17933 seconds
  • Memory Usage 8,153KB
  • Queries Executed 16 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_sig
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_start
  • (4)bbcode_quote
  • (1)cyb_flashimagebanners
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (3)navbar_link
  • (60)option
  • (1)pagenav
  • (1)pagenav_curpage
  • (1)pagenav_pagelink
  • (15)post_groan_box
  • (1)post_groan_javascript
  • (1)post_groan_navbar_search
  • (15)post_thanks_box
  • (29)post_thanks_box_bit
  • (1)post_thanks_javascript
  • (1)post_thanks_navbar_search
  • (12)post_thanks_postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (133)postbit_reputation
  • (15)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (1)smqre_editor_button
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_notice.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php
  • ./mobiquo/include/classTTConnection.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner/head.inc.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions_template.php
  • ./includes/functions_misc.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • reputation_image
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete