Homeschooling and "what they miss out on".

[Sparrow]

I had a very *nice* conversation with my MIL about homeschooling. Aaron is more than likely going to be going to public school, IF we can get him into the one we want. If I can't do that then I said to MIL "I'd homeschool before I'd put him into our catchment school". She drew in a sharp breath and I said "What, don't you agree?"

No, she doesn't. She thinks that they miss out on socialization. When I had an answer for her on that she said "Well, I think that school prepares them for the world. They need to know there is all sorts of people, they need to be exposed to bullies."

Why do people think we need to jump to exposing our kids to the negative things in life so young? Really? Why?

How do I answer that statement. I was at a loss (other than saying the thing about negatives)

[Mother of Sons]

Well first, life is life. They'll be exposed to bad stuff regardless. Second the way I look t it is if kids aren't exposed to evil and meanness early they won't be as accepting of it. They won't learn to see it as normal and acceptable Kwim?

[ArmsOfLove]

someone told me once they tell people, "Oh, it's okay, I take my child into the bathroom and steal their lunch money and beat them up every day" in response to that

I just give people the look you posted and then I wait a pause and restate their words. "You do realize you just said I should send my child, my X year old child, to a place away from me where without any adult oversight they can be bullied and harassed by other children. Is that really what you're suggesting my child needs for their development and education?"

[Ms_Dahl]

I don't understand why one would support the exposure to bullies in a young child who is still learning about him/herself and his/her place in the world. I get the idea that facing a bully is a way to build "inner strength" but it would make a lot more sense to me when my child is secure in his image. At least he has the benefits of feeling secure in his image and being able to see a bully for who he really is (rather than the image he/she wants the bullied child to see). I'd rather have my child build his self-image through the seeds of love rather than fear.

I'm sorry that your MIL jumped to so many conclusions without first exploring what homeschooling truly entails. I wish we (humans) spent more time asking further questions and make an effort to understand differing perspectives before we pronounced our "decisions" on a matter.

[itzj]

I checked out "The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling" by Rachel Gathercole from the library. It totally set my mind at ease about socializing and homeschooling. She actually argues that homeschooled children are better socialized because time isn't wasted in classroom management and transitions. Kids get through lessons and then have time to form better relationships with their peers. They also get to socialize with people of all ages, not just their own, through field trips, hands on learning, older family members, etc that they would not get in school.

In the real world, I meet with people of all ages, from all kinds of places, and with all levels of abilities, intelligence & a wide variety of skills. And my kids are with me in those situations. It's kind of the opposite of the local-area, same-age, same-level segregation that a child would experience in school. Pretty ridiculous. My kids spend a LOT more time in the real world than other kids do, simply by the merit of not spending 8hrs/day locked in a gov't building.

In the real world, people are expected to treat each other with respect and dignity, which is exactly the opposite of unhindered bullying that so many kids suffer through in school.

Yeah. I totally benefited from being labeled a lesbian from 4th to 6th grade when I developed earlier than everyone else. And the boys in high school grabbing my breasts in class and shouting out 'gnarly knockers, babe' across the cafeteria gave me tons of character.

Oh Renee, that's awful

[mamacat]

I know,I know...........

yeah because bullying is so great for kids some even take their own lives or the lives of others when they get sick of it sometimes

[mwwr]

Even PS advocates cite bullying as one of the worst problems with the system. That was the one thing that turned my parents in favor of HS.

[thrillofhope]

Bullying is not "the real world". I was amazed when I did get out into the real world and nobody was making me cry every day. School was simply torture for me. I didn't want to be smart because people copied me and then made fun of me. I would have learned a lot better outside of that environment. It definitely is part of the reason we will be homeschooling.

[Thankfulforgrace]

I would respond that when my child is more mature and better able to deal with bullies she will naturally run into them IRL. And hopefully at least some bullies gain maturity with age.

Both children taking their own lives or a bully killing a child are real threats in our world and not something that kids need to just deal with. And the thought that school is the only place my kid will run into someone who is not nice is just

People learn how to deal with things in a healthy manner when they have an older and wiser person there with them, walking them through really hard stuff. Not when they are just thrown to the wolves. Not to say that if you send your child to ps you are doing this but to purposefully send them to have the bully experience?

[ThreeKids]

In the real world, when you come across a bully, you have the option of removing yourself from the situation. The message of the socialization you get in compulsory-attendance schools is that the strong thing to do is to figure out how to handle it where removing yourself is not an option. There's an awful lot of hurt in this world that I think the perpetrators wouldn't have the audacity for if so many hadn't already been "socialized" to look down on voting with your feet.

[Peaceful Meadows]

Oh, Renee, how horrible!