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Old 07-11-2017, 07:46 AM   #1
Earthmummy07
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Default What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

I'd love to hear as many perspectives as possible on this. I'm trying to figure out how I want this to look for our family. Every system we've had so far has failed but BB has proven himself incapable of self regulating and needs some boundaries to stop it taking over his life. I'd particularly love to hear from families that have a child with obsessive tendencies, ODD, ASD etc but all perspectives are valuable
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Old 07-11-2017, 08:03 AM   #2
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

I set both a time it can start ("screen time starts at 5pm") and duration (1 hour). My kids don't react negatively to screen time though, so they're able to have some every day.

I have several friends whose children get really negatively affected behavior wise by screens, so they only do it on the weekends which has improved things a lot in their families.

Also, plenty of outside time (including dirty exploration in creeks, forest preserves) seems to help them behaviorally too.
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Old 07-11-2017, 08:17 AM   #3
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

In our home, the kids must ask before using screens. Before I'll say yes, they must have completed school work and chores. The rules are not hard & fast, so some days, if I feel they need outside time first I'll say so. We have few games for them to play, so that's not a huge issue. We play more computer games in the winter when the weather is not great. Much less use in the summer.
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Old 07-11-2017, 08:19 AM   #4
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

We recently purchased Circle and it allows us to regulate the times of day that the kids are allowed on each device as well as a daily time limit for each kid. It also reports what sites are being used. We love it. It forced our child who would 'go downstairs to take a nap' (and instead was sneaking screen time) to find other things to do. For example, he has been on the trampoline and listening to audio books all summer long instead!

---------- Post added at 09:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:18 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Tickle Momster View Post
In our home, the kids must ask before using screens. Before I'll say yes, they must have completed school work and chores..
Should add that we do similar. The internet doesn't even 'come on' until 1:00 pm every day. They have to have done their Bible, reading, chores, piano (and also outdoor play) before they are allowed to access it.
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Old 07-11-2017, 08:30 AM   #5
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

I'm so glad someone here has Circle!!! I've read about it a lot but a personal review is so much better!

I have a child with odd, OCD, & add tendencies. For us, tight regulations actually increased his anxiety, quite a bit. I had to let him "overdose," so to speak, so that he now chooses to take a walk and be outside (most days) and moderate his usage. And this took awhile and it won't be the answer for everyone. There were long periods where my kids had no screen time at all except for a family movie night once a week.

Does he do well with clear expectations that never change? Mine doesn't, but many kids do.

Also, many devices have time limits that parents can set. Windows parental control makes it so a child account can only log on during set hours. (Although I don't know if Windows 10 has that, I haven't looked.) And our WiFi is on a timer.
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Old 07-11-2017, 08:59 AM   #6
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

Our rule is no screens of any kind until school is done and after lunch. The "after lunch" part is because their behavior deteriorates horribly the rest of the day if they watch in the mornings. Don't know why, but it is our reality. We watch 1-1.5 hours per day when we watch. I read Reset Your Child's Brain, and it was quite enlightening. Simply watching a screen from across a room has far less of an effect on the brain (though still an effect!), than screens you interact with and/or are closer to. So I allow basically zero computer, video games, iPad use, smart phone use, etc right now. Eventually we will have to introduce those things and work through how to not abuse them (we have both psychiatric and addiction issues in our family history on both sides), but in the meantime, I want to set them up for success since they are still so young (ages almost 4 to 8.5).

We don't watch anything on weekends, and sometimes, like this week, we have a screen-free week just to focus on playing and doing other things outside.
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Old 07-11-2017, 11:13 AM   #7
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdhfly View Post
Our rule is no screens of any kind until school is done and after lunch. The "after lunch" part is because their behavior deteriorates horribly the rest of the day if they watch in the mornings. Don't know why, but it is our reality
We also have this rule. My son is also more affected when its in the morning as opposed to later.

I like this rule because as things change and fluctuate in terms of rules this one as been steady and gets us through a big chunk of the day with no screens.

Plus my son will negotiate so much if its chores based or whatever (I've done threads on this trait), so it's also a nice way to just not have to hear about it bc this has been a rule since he was little.

Also we have the no screen until rules and chores are done. During the school year we are so busy with sports and other activities just naturally it doesnt happen a lot.

In the summer its harder bc there is so much free time they could have done all chores, played outside for 6 hours and still have plenty of time for screens.

If its raining I allow more than if its nice out. eta: he is neurotypical.
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Old 07-11-2017, 09:06 AM   #8
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

He's been overdosing for the majority of my pregnancy due to me not having the energy to fight anymore. I was hopeful that he would eventually self regulate, but even though he knows and acknowledges that too much screen time makes him grumpy and gives him headaches, he still doesn't seem able to apply that knowledge until after the fact.

Just to give you an idea, if I don't interfere, he will put on either the Xbox or his tablet when he wakes at around 6.30, pause it for bathroom breaks and to come fetch his food and not actually leave it alone until we insist he comes off to get ready for bed

Clear expectations that never change were helpful up until recently. I have a whole other thread (that sparked this one) in the tweens and teens section about the issues we are having with rules lately They do help *me* atleast, if not him, in that I have something to refer back to and don't get pulled into negotiations too often.

He's having a big 'thing' about us being controlling lately (again, the tweens thread) and someone on there suggested attaching the screen time to something else so that the limits are there, and he is in control of it via his actions. So different activities earn him different amounts of screen time. I'm playing with that in my mind figuring what it could look like and if it would work.
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Old 07-11-2017, 09:24 AM   #9
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

If you're interested in a cut & dry system that earns screen time, I recommend the Chore Monster app. You can customize chores, responsibilities & activities and customize the point values, as well as customize the point values for earning screen time.

Unfortunately, this did not work for my oldest who has similar struggles (as we've discussed before). If we ever left the house, if the day didn't go as it usually does, he would be so upset/mad/stressed out about not having enough time to do his chores to earn that screen time. And they were playing 60 minutes a day max, most days only 30.

So we moved to a different system. Do most of your chores with a positive attitude during the week, do most of your school work with a good attitude, and you can play Friday night for about an hour and Saturday for 1-2 hours. No planned time on Sunday, though sometimes we switch the days (depending on if we're getting together with family, church picnic, other responsibilties, etc.).
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Old 07-11-2017, 12:36 PM   #10
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

Summer time...all chores and summer reading need to be done. It must be after lunch. It needs to be an parent approved "inside" day. Many days we make them go out and play. No tv on those days. If it is too hot or raining, tv may be an option. Then they may watch tv. During the school year, everyone needs to have completed their school work for the day as well.
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Old 07-11-2017, 02:21 PM   #11
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

Have you tried giving him a 10 minute warning? That he must stop in 10 minutes so do not get himself into something he can't get out of quickly? That sometimes helps at our house.

---------- Post added at 02:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:21 PM ----------

YouTube videos remember where you left off, too.
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Old 07-11-2017, 03:58 PM   #12
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

The 10minute warnings help sometimes. Other times they leave him more flustered and cause problems in other ways. There is no consistency with this kid!

We share a YouTube account because I find it the easiest way to monitor what/who he is watching, being able to access it from my phone. Unfortunately that means that if I use the account it moves him back to the main screen and that frustrates him. I think if he goes into the history it will let him find his place but I don't know if I want him knowing how the history works.
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Old 07-11-2017, 04:07 PM   #13
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

We limit it. Generally (not summer) it is only after dinner and chores/homework must be completed. In summer they can sometimes earn extra but know not to even ask unless they have been kind, done chores, read, played outside, and finished a yoga thing. The only time we do unlimited is one lazy movie day during summer (with junk food and jammies) or for long car rides (over 2-3 hours) they can watch movies.
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Old 07-13-2017, 10:51 AM   #14
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Default Re: What does 'regulating screen time' look like at your house?

We have had different rules at different times. Currently, screen time ends at 9 AM. The kids are early risers and I'm not, and this helps everyone. So yes, there is no media from 9 in the morning until bedtime. Our home functions much better this way.
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