I need help with my 2yo picker

OliveJuice · 07-18-2008, 03:33 PM

He picks himself...he has sores all over, they bleed and he still picks. And since about 12 months old he has pinched or picked at dh and my arms. It is really getting out of control the last month or so. I have two spots on my arm that will not heal as he keeps picking. It is VERY VERY painful when he does this. I don't know what to do! I want to be gentle. That is incredibly difficult when he comes over out of the blue and goes right for my sore spot he has made on my arm and he digs in. I have tried to say gently, but firmly, "no, you can not pick my arm, but we rub my arm" and I use his hand to rub my arm. But that is not working.

Since a baby he has rubbed our arms to self soothe. When he is tired he picks at dh and I or himself more, I assume to self soothe.

We do have a family history of "picking" (myself and my father) which I have come to find out is thought to be related to OCD, but it usually starts with b/c some sort of stress or trauma. (I know it did for me, it started out of a way to deal with stress when my hair pulling wouldn't cut it, and I continue to pick, and stress makes it worse) All of my kids have seen me pick, but only Fionn has started the behavior. (The don't see me doing it on a regular basis as it is something I try to hide and do in private

I need to be able to get him to stop hurting me and dh, (and I'd like to get him to stop doing it to himself, but I think that will be a harder challenge)

What do I say when he comes over and does it? Sometimes he even asks me! I always say no and he ends up crying over it!

Pragmatist · 07-21-2008, 10:16 PM

Can you give him something else to pick at? I can't think of any toys that could substitute right now, but maybe someone else can.

Rabbit · 07-21-2008, 10:20 PM

I think it would be appropriate to work with a therapist for him, though I don't know which type, since it's more of a clinical issue than a discipline issue.

07-18-2008, 03:33 PM	#1
OliveJuice Deactivated Lord, I want to feel with Your heart, See the world through Your eyes Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Near Boston, MA Posts: 5,901	I need help with my 2yo picker He picks himself...he has sores all over, they bleed and he still picks. And since about 12 months old he has pinched or picked at dh and my arms. It is really getting out of control the last month or so. I have two spots on my arm that will not heal as he keeps picking. It is VERY VERY painful when he does this. I don't know what to do! I want to be gentle. That is incredibly difficult when he comes over out of the blue and goes right for my sore spot he has made on my arm and he digs in. I have tried to say gently, but firmly, "no, you can not pick my arm, but we rub my arm" and I use his hand to rub my arm. But that is not working. Since a baby he has rubbed our arms to self soothe. When he is tired he picks at dh and I or himself more, I assume to self soothe. We do have a family history of "picking" (myself and my father) which I have come to find out is thought to be related to OCD, but it usually starts with b/c some sort of stress or trauma. (I know it did for me, it started out of a way to deal with stress when my hair pulling wouldn't cut it, and I continue to pick, and stress makes it worse) All of my kids have seen me pick, but only Fionn has started the behavior. (The don't see me doing it on a regular basis as it is something I try to hide and do in private I need to be able to get him to stop hurting me and dh, (and I'd like to get him to stop doing it to himself, but I think that will be a harder challenge) What do I say when he comes over and does it? Sometimes he even asks me! I always say no and he ends up crying over it!

07-21-2008, 10:16 PM	#2
Pragmatist Rose Garden Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Idaho Posts: 4,924	Re: I need help with my 2yo picker Can you give him something else to pick at? I can't think of any toys that could substitute right now, but maybe someone else can. __________________ Sara (ISTJ) married to V since 7/99 Strawberry Shortcake- 3/07 Huckleberry Pie- 9/11

07-21-2008, 10:20 PM	#3
Rabbit Deactivated You know how we say, "It works both ways!" Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In the Neighborhood Posts: 39,704	Re: I need help with my 2yo picker I think it would be appropriate to work with a therapist for him, though I don't know which type, since it's more of a clinical issue than a discipline issue.

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