Random Quotes from Wise Mamas |
br>
|
Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
02-20-2011, 01:29 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 6,404
|
Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
I don't think Ezzo/Babywise was around when I was born, but if he had my parents would have been his #1 fan. I always thought I'd follow along in their footsteps until I had a baby of my own, and CIO just seemed wrong.
I am curious if there are any other women here who were raised similarly? I have struggled with abandonment a lot, which is odd because I came from a very stable homelife and haven't really had anyone of significance abandon me. (I was in counseling for a little while and even then my counselor couldn't figure why I was struggling so much.) Once I had a baby and started looking into parenting methods, I began to wonder if my parents letting me CIO had something to do with it... My mom says she used to leave the house so she wouldn't hear me crying. Anyone else struggle with this? Or seen other lasting effects?
__________________
Ashley (ISFJ) mom to three beautiful girls! DD1 (8/2009) DD2 (7/2012) DD3 (9/2014) |
02-20-2011, 01:47 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 10,090
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
Mine were not as punitive and manipulative as Ezzo, but they were still pretty punitive and were into making sure they and not their kids were in charge. I always thought I would do the same until I was about 38 weeks, and well let's just say God intervened pretty strongly. But yeah, I struggle with abandonment and anger. Along with several other issues and have finally started making connections since finding GCM. It really hit home for me earlier this week when my now crawling eight month old daughter realized I wasn't in the same room as she and came to find me and I remembered my mom telling me about how when I became mobile, she had to chase me down because I avoided human contact like the plague.
__________________
Rita s IstJ Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08 Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10 mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15 Often Please forgive my frequent typos Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!! I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook |
02-20-2011, 02:10 PM | #3 |
Rose Trellis
The best way to hold a child is in your heart!
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,989
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
My parents don't validate my feelings at all and don't with my children either.
__________________
ENFJ proud mamma to my precious identical twin girls born at 30 weeks! (June '06)
mamma to my many 's that are now with Jesus embarking on our new surrogacy journey in 2012 SAHM, co-sleeping, non-vax, home learners/unschooling, learning to live with severe food allergies While I know myself to be a creation of God, I am obligated to remember and realize that everything and everyone else is also God's creation. |
02-20-2011, 02:16 PM | #4 |
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 635
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
I think the connections you are making between your childhood and current fears are perfectly logical.
__________________
~Julie~ INFJ "There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation in the way we raise our children." - Marianne Williamson |
The Following User Says Thank You to FamilyLove For This Useful Post: | rjy9343 (02-21-2011) |
02-22-2011, 07:20 AM | #5 |
Rose Garden
a little Attachment Parenting will fix that
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,981
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
i feel like this is just about everybody i know. i honestly feel that THIS is the fruit of being punitively parented. sure ,you can turn out "alright" for all intents and purposes..but its like your empathy receptors ( i made that up) are seared in a way? and the cyle continues..
__________________
Gently mothering 5 babes one day at a time, only by the help of my Lord - ages 11,6,5, 4, & 2 Nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation.ISFP |
The Following User Says Thank You to SweetCaroline For This Useful Post: | nadezhda (02-22-2011) |
The Following User Says they are praying for SweetCaroline: | momma2girls (02-22-2011) |
02-22-2011, 11:50 AM | #6 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 6,404
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
Quote:
__________________
Ashley (ISFJ) mom to three beautiful girls! DD1 (8/2009) DD2 (7/2012) DD3 (9/2014) |
|
02-22-2011, 07:59 PM | #7 |
Rose Garden
a little Attachment Parenting will fix that
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,981
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
its kinda like..which came first? the chicken or the egg
__________________
Gently mothering 5 babes one day at a time, only by the help of my Lord - ages 11,6,5, 4, & 2 Nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation.ISFP |
02-22-2011, 08:12 PM | #8 |
Rose Trellis
Words are Worlds
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,221
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
I get this.
I can't bear to see a grown man take off his belt... (Dh knows to do that out of my sight. *sigh* I can't wait till he's an old man and has to wear suspenders!) I also have had to recover from soooo many issues irt this kind of upbringing... everything from not being allowed to have boundaries to not being willing to let people touch me, to having to train myself not to zone out and ignore children... but God is really good at fixing broken things. |
02-22-2011, 08:15 PM | #9 | |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Among the tall straight pines of the coastal plain.
Posts: 5,797
|
Re: Adult children of Ezzo-type upbringing?
Yes, my parents and step parents were very harsh.
I have crappy relationships with each of them. I have a hard time with feeling important or worth while. I rarely feel whole. I have a hard time connecting with my kids because I was never interacted with for the purpose of relationship. I have a hard time not expecting too much from dd because so much was expected of me. ---------- Post added at 10:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:13 PM ---------- Quote:
|
|
Bookmarks |
|
|
X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information | |
---|---|
|
|
More Information | |
Template Usage:
Phrase Groups Available:
|
Included Files:
Hooks Called:
|