Baby Whisperer

[WildFlower]

Any thoughts on this book? I bought it back when I was trying to figure out what to do to help DD with sleep, before I fully embraced attachment parenting. There are some things in the book that sound nice. But they also talk about a routine/schedule similar albeit less strict than Babywise. She talks about a flexible routine more based on your childs needss but still the concepts are similar to Babywise. I like the parts about childrens personalities and their different needs and trying to understand your own individual baby. But that's about all that really seemed good. There is a whole part in there about accidental parenting and how to fix your mistakes , things like rocking, bouncing, nursing to sleep etc, holding your baby too much. She recommmends pick up , put down. She'll pick up the baby then lay /put him down after he settles, doing this well into 100's of times till the baby gets so exhausted he just falls asleep , or if it's for something like holding too much, till he just quits asking crying to be held all the time (older babies). Sounds like it could "work" but made me feel like I was totally making huge awful mistakes by holding my DD so much or when she cries to be held all the time. I guess I think it just sounds nicer because she is againts CIO but it just seems like classic behaviourism.

---------- Post added at 03:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:31 PM ----------

oh, yeah, my sister asked me if I had this book and she wants to borrow it. She's big on Babywise...I guess I'd rather see her follow baby whisperer than babywise if given the choice but there is too much stuff in this that makes me feel . I am sure she'll think I really am spoiling my dd if she reads it.

[Kiara.I]

Hiss, spit. That's what I think of it.

She still thinks you shouldn't nurse to sleep, which strikes me as ludicrous. You know, there's that nice hormone in breastmilk that causes babies to be sleepy. But don't let it work that way, oh no, you gotta fight against it!

If it makes you feel like you're making mistakes, don't read it.

[Housekat]

what Kiara said. Me no like it

[Llee]

She gives HORRID nursing advice. I cannot dislike the book enough. A GCM friend did use it with her first to get her dd to sleep in a crib. So if you have a big filter, you can glean a few good things from it.

[Thankfulforgrace]

Another that dislikes it. And ouch on poor moms back and arms to pick up and put down 100 times. Babies are made to want to sleep with mama and nurse to sleep

[Waterlogged]

there was a handy chart about all the different baby cries. in my hazy, PPD, sleep-deprived state, all K's cries sounded the same for awhile, and i needed some help to figure out what to do.

but other than that, i don't even think i bothered reading it.

[WildFlower]

thanks!

um.. my copy disappeared..

[Housekat]

Just coming back to add that 'pick up put down', in my mind, are similar to CIO. You don't leave baby on his/her own, granted, but the whole up-down thing is so confusing for them that it really doesn't qualify as crying in arms...

Add to that the fact that mama is there, smelling of milk and cuddly and snuggly, but isn't giving milk or cuddling or snuggling, it's just hugely confusing for baby.

[rjy9343]

Maybe the no cry sleep solution would be better. She is still gentle, but not as associated with AP, like Dr. Sears or some of the others you would normally read. Or even the wonder weeks.

My cousin implemented this with her first child and it was sooo hard on her. She was going nuts trying to constantly leave him in his totally dark room (had to cover all the windows with foil and put on a fan so no noise or light would enter his room) but never to let him peep. If he even squirmed she ran in to "shhhhh"/pat him back to sleep. I asked her why she just didn't wear him or cosleep. Those were ridiculous ideas that would ruin him. He had to fit in an exact schedule of sleep/awak/eat/play/sleep that must be exactly the same all the time. She freaked on everyone if we did anything to make him depart from that, even if he was wanting to depart from it.

I begged her Mom to talk to her because I saw her creating a child with issues. He had to sleep how she dictated. She had to sleep in a sleep swaddle even when he wanted his hands out to move around. He had to eat when she said, even if he was hungry 10 minutes earlier than that. Sigh.

Thankfully, as I predicted, she wasn't able to keep up such a stringent schedule with a second baby. And now she is doing more of the "let the baby dictate what the baby needs" with their second. I see baby never in a swaddle (because baby doesn't like it), interacting with Mom and family more (because baby likes it), sleeping when baby wants with no forced "shhhh"/pat because Moms says so (because baby is tired and ready for sleep). Whew.

[Housekat]

Oh yes, that reminds me - the "EASY" routine is totally counter intuitive to an infant's body clock: Eat-Awake-Sleep-You means playing after eating, when baby actually wants to drop off (ever felt like just laying down after a large meal? Yeah...)

Don't like it. Big feelings here.

[marbles]

Originally Posted by Loralee

So if you have a big filter, you can glean a few good things from it.

Agree. My SIL gave it to me and I read it and had the same "maybe I completely messed up my daughter!" reaction after my initial "this is ridiculous!!" thought. I don't have a problem with babies learning to sleep on their own (some do prefer that I hear!) and I know some moms here teach their babies how to go to sleep on their own but I do have a problem with insisting that every baby needs that. I did find it really hilarious that in the midst of her chapter on how important a sleep schedule is because every baby absolutely needs to be told when and how to go to sleep and it's super important for babies to be independent scheduled sleepers from a very early age there's a little box that mentions that other cultures, of course, cosleep and nurse to sleep for a long time and it doesn't seem to bother them. But YOUR baby needs to go to sleep on his own in his own crib at the right time every day because YOUR baby NEEDS that!!

My biggest problem with the book is her obvious bias. She actaully says things like "Not only was he 2 and still nursing..." I just have a hard time accepting anything from someone so disdainful of AP choices.

It def. has so bad BF info in it. http://www.kellymom.com/store/review...whisperer.html

[WildFlower]

one other thing that rubbed me the wrong way about the book, was in one of the examples she had a 2 year old that was still nursing and dad wasn't happy about it so the mother tried to hide it. She was right about the fact the mother shouldn't lie to the father about the LO still nursing, BUT get this she stated that pretty much ALL mothers who nursed their babies past a year didn't do it for the baby but for themselves, to fulfill some selfish need to be needed. SO not true. We know that there is nutritional benefit to breastfeeding past a year and so many moms are SO done but continue for the benefit of their babe, NOT because they are selfish. I do still LOVE nursing DD and hate to give it up, but if there was no benefit and she was ready to be done, then so be it, but I know she's NOT ready to quit nursing.

[rjy9343]

Originally Posted by WildFlower

BUT get this she stated that pretty much ALL mothers who nursed their babies past a year didn't do it for the baby but for themselves, to fulfill some selfish need to be needed. SO not true. We know that there is nutritional benefit to breastfeeding past a year and so many moms are SO done but continue for the benefit of their babe, NOT because they are selfish. I do still LOVE nursing DD and hate to give it up, but if there was no benefit and she was ready to be done, then so be it, but I know she's NOT ready to quit nursing.