Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas

~* Please help keep GCM free by using our
Amazon.com affiliate link. Thank you! *~


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Specific Issues > Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
A public forum.
Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-10-2012, 09:20 PM   #1
OrangeHope
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 993
OrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud of
Default Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

I have known for a while now that our church is pro spanking but this is the first sermon that I have heard our pastor mention spanking.
I just looked at their website and today's video of the sermon isn't up yet so I can't address you guys to his exact words and I'm pretty tired right now but the pastor said something along the lines of:"...it's like spanking, some people say 'Oh, I'll never spank my child!' but you got to stand firm."
I'm not too sure if he said "but you got to stand firm." like I said I'm so tired right now and I'll be looking for the video when they put it online but it was pretty obvious he's encouraging parents to spank.

So I'm thinking of writing him a letter explaining to him why I don't think spanking is biblical, I'll be using Crystals website to guide me but I'm wondering what you guys think I should write in my letter?
__________________
Sam married to DH since April 07
SAHM to DD Alex 10-18-08
DS Oliver 09-26-2013
And baby girl arriving March 2016
OrangeHope is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to OrangeHope For This Useful Post:
ArmsOfLove (06-10-2012), CelticJourney (06-16-2012), dulce de leche (06-11-2012), SewingGreenMama (06-11-2012), Zooey (06-11-2012)
The Following 3 Users Say they are praying for OrangeHope:
dulce de leche (06-11-2012), Rugayatu (06-11-2012), Zooey (06-11-2012)
Old 06-10-2012, 09:52 PM   #2
Kiara.I
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West
Posts: 12,922
Kiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor


It depends on exactly what he said, exactly what you feel are the problems with it, and exactly what topic you want to address.

Like, if he just said, "spanking's cool" then I'd probably roll my eyes, sputter a lot, complain a bunch to DH, and let it go.

But if he said, "As Christians you *must* spank", then I would be addressing it. You know?
__________________
ENTP fits me to a T, though it took me forever to figure it out! DYT Type 3, Enn. Type 1 (hold that thought...enneagram crisis...might be a 7!)
Sparks (9) ; Spitfire (8); Sprite (4.5)
Kiara.I is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kiara.I For This Useful Post:
ArmsOfLove (06-10-2012), dulce de leche (06-11-2012), OrangeHope (06-11-2012), Zooey (06-11-2012)
Old 06-10-2012, 09:57 PM   #3
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

if he did make a statement to that effect I might challenge him based on the idea that God could have stood firm about man and sin but instead he sacrificed himself to extend us grace--knowing that we couldn't handle the burden ourselves
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
BarefootBetsy (06-10-2012), dulce de leche (06-11-2012), Elyse221 (06-12-2012), OrangeHope (06-11-2012), SewingGreenMama (06-11-2012), Zooey (06-11-2012)
Old 06-10-2012, 10:52 PM   #4
Shutterbug
Rose Bush
 
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 389
Shutterbug is a name known to allShutterbug is a name known to allShutterbug is a name known to allShutterbug is a name known to allShutterbug is a name known to allShutterbug is a name known to allShutterbug is a name known to all
Default

*subbing because I'm going through a similar issue*

Sent from my mobile device. Forgive me for typos!
__________________
INFP, wife to an Airman, mama of one angel baby girl in August 2009, and two sweet and energetic boys born in Oct 2010 and Sept 2013.
Shutterbug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 02:48 AM   #5
Zooey
Rose Trellis
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
Zooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond reputeZooey has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post
if he did make a statement to that effect I might challenge him based on the idea that God could have stood firm about man and sin but instead he sacrificed himself to extend us grace--knowing that we couldn't handle the burden ourselves
What Crystal said.
__________________
"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss
Zooey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 03:42 AM   #6
rjy9343
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 10,090
rjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond reputerjy9343 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

I am subbing because I am wrestling with something similar.
__________________
Rita s IstJ

Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08
Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10
mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15
Often Please forgive my frequent typos

Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!!
I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook
rjy9343 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 08:41 AM   #7
dulce de leche
Climbing Rose
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,407
dulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond reputedulce de leche has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

We faced that same situation a few years ago and wrote to our pastor. Although he still believes that spanking is biblical, his response was very gracious and it sparked my blog. This is the letter that we sent.
__________________
Partaker of the Eternal Fountain of Coffee and Perpetual Provider of Magic Milk
My blog:Dulce de leche

13 years with Mi Amado
Dd ~ 1/04
Ds ~ 1/06
Dd ~ 6/08
Dd ~ 7/10
dulce de leche is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to dulce de leche For This Useful Post:
Hermana Linda (06-11-2012), OrangeHope (06-11-2012), Shutterbug (06-11-2012), Zooey (06-11-2012)
Old 06-11-2012, 07:11 PM   #8
OrangeHope
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 993
OrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud of
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Thanks ladies!! I just checked their website and the sermon is up so I'm wondering if I'm allowed to post a link to the video?
__________________
Sam married to DH since April 07
SAHM to DD Alex 10-18-08
DS Oliver 09-26-2013
And baby girl arriving March 2016
OrangeHope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 08:58 PM   #9
Hermana Linda
Administrator
 
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,818
Hermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Can you make it a non-clickable link? If it's a life link, I will edit it and make it not live (clickable). Post it in the advanced box and uncheck the box which says, "Parse links."
__________________

My pages:
Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter
Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God
Hermana Linda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 07:26 AM   #10
ruhama
Deactivated
 
Jumping off the hot tin roof.
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: We are all of us made of stars.
Posts: 2,106
ruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond reputeruhama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Link!
ruhama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:28 PM   #11
OrangeHope
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 993
OrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud of
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

O.k here it is I hope I am posting this alright...



I broke the link up.

The spanking part is very short so if you'd like forward it to around 52 minute mark.
__________________
Sam married to DH since April 07
SAHM to DD Alex 10-18-08
DS Oliver 09-26-2013
And baby girl arriving March 2016
OrangeHope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 03:25 PM   #12
Kiara.I
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West
Posts: 12,922
Kiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

It's such a short comment, I'm not sure I'd bother addressing it.

If you wanted to, you might want to focus on the, "Hey, I've studied the scriptures and what I see there is liberty to parent without spanking (since the liberty thing is his topic) and the Proverbs are not straight-up commandments. So please, consider that you have thoughtful Christian parents in your audience who may have studied the scriptures carefully and come to a different conclusion about spanking."
__________________
ENTP fits me to a T, though it took me forever to figure it out! DYT Type 3, Enn. Type 1 (hold that thought...enneagram crisis...might be a 7!)
Sparks (9) ; Spitfire (8); Sprite (4.5)
Kiara.I is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kiara.I For This Useful Post:
Llee (06-18-2012), OrangeHope (06-12-2012), Zooey (06-13-2012)
Old 06-12-2012, 03:38 PM   #13
OrangeHope
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 993
OrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud ofOrangeHope has much to be proud of
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Thanks Kiara.I! I did think of letting it go since it was such a short comment but our church is a VERY big church and lots of parents were listening to this sermon and probably those who didn't spank before might consider starting since according to the pastor it's biblical to do so
__________________
Sam married to DH since April 07
SAHM to DD Alex 10-18-08
DS Oliver 09-26-2013
And baby girl arriving March 2016
OrangeHope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 03:48 PM   #14
Kiara.I
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West
Posts: 12,922
Kiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond reputeKiara.I has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Thinking of writing a letter to my pastor

Well the thing is, he's probably not going to preach a retraction. So, what are you hoping to accomplish? It can't be unsaid. He's not going to track down everyone there and tell them actually he was mistaken. You'd be lucky if he *admits* he was mistaken, frankly.

Mostly, I expect, what you want to accomplish is that he stops, thinks about it, checks his ideas, and then *in the future* maybe doesn't say that. But for this time? There's nothing to be done about it.

So whatever you decide to do, remember that you are trying to win him over so that next time doesn't happen. Going in with guns blazing to tell him he's wrong probably won't accomplish that, you know? Keep your end view in mind.
__________________
ENTP fits me to a T, though it took me forever to figure it out! DYT Type 3, Enn. Type 1 (hold that thought...enneagram crisis...might be a 7!)
Sparks (9) ; Spitfire (8); Sprite (4.5)
Kiara.I is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kiara.I For This Useful Post:
Hermana Linda (06-12-2012), rjy9343 (06-13-2012)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:46 AM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2017 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.10811 seconds
  • Memory Usage 8,062KB
  • Queries Executed 16 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_sig
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_start
  • (1)bbcode_quote
  • (1)cyb_flashimagebanners
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (3)navbar_link
  • (60)option
  • (14)post_groan_box
  • (3)post_groan_box_bit
  • (1)post_groan_javascript
  • (1)post_groan_navbar_search
  • (1)post_groan_postbit_legacy
  • (14)post_thanks_box
  • (24)post_thanks_box_bit
  • (1)post_thanks_javascript
  • (1)post_thanks_navbar_search
  • (6)post_thanks_postbit_legacy
  • (14)postbit_legacy
  • (14)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (140)postbit_reputation
  • (14)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (1)smqre_editor_button
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_notice.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php
  • ./mobiquo/include/classTTConnection.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner/head.inc.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions_template.php
  • ./includes/functions_misc.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_postinfo_query
  • fetch_postinfo
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_start
  • post_groan_function_show_groan_date_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_end
  • reputation_image
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete