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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 11-19-2013, 12:54 PM   #1
Findabhair
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Default It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

I was on the Pearls' ministry facebook group this morning because I was reading an article/ petition about their book and there are a lot of people on there stating opinions against the Pearls. So then of course you have the rebuttals from Pro-Pearl people. This one just made me feel really sad/ Angry for this girl. I removed her name from the quote because it's not necessary to make the point.

"So spanking and switching are abuse WELL then let me run straight to my grandmother and tell her that the horse whip she used on me was child abuse. Come on people the parents that killed that girl are sickos who need put to death the pearls didnt kill her. Where are the other two kids that where killed because of this book? I have looked and cant find them. Oh and by the way l wasnt abused and my grandmother used their methods with me. If we attack the people who write or make stuff then what are we doing calling ourselves free people. May god bless you mike and debi l have and always will read your teachings. l will be praying for you and the situation."
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Old 11-19-2013, 01:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

Its sad for her, her grandmother, her mother, and any kids she may have

a horsewhip!
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Old 11-19-2013, 01:08 PM   #3
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

Yes, I had the occasion to stand on the property where Sean Paddock was killed using their methods. Chilling.
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Old 11-19-2013, 01:19 PM   #4
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

A horsewhip I cannot even imagine
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:11 PM   #5
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

wow. I wonder if there was any response to her saying that using a horsewhip is very abusive. So sad.
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:15 PM   #6
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a HORSE WHIP?! I may be doing background checks on anyone my kids date or plan to marry 25yrs down the road. Sick sick sick.
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:33 PM   #7
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

She has Stolkholm syndrome.
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:57 PM   #8
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

Quote:
Originally Posted by FarmMama View Post
wow. I wonder if there was any response to her saying that using a horsewhip is very abusive. So sad.
Yes, someone did respond to her and say she was abused. I didn't check back again to see if she responded to them or not.
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Old 11-19-2013, 03:26 PM   #9
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

Yes, she probably does have Stockholm, and most likely will not understand that she was abused, at least not right away. Prayers for her, because that is going to be a hard truth to understand. But I hope she does, at some point.
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Old 11-19-2013, 03:43 PM   #10
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

Yes, that's abuse. It's also generational sin.

There's a special kind of lie the Enemy tells us that the things passed down to us are okay. We have a reason to ignore the conviction we feel when we pass it on to the next generation. To be the generation that breaks free, you have to admit that the people who once intimidated and loved you at the same time were wrong and that's hard to do. And it gets passed on to the next generation.

It's so easy for us to see that it's abuse, but for someone who hasn't broken free from it, it's very hard. It will either be very hard or very easy for their children to see it as abuse, depending on whether they did the work themselves or not.
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Old 11-19-2013, 04:18 PM   #11
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

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Old 11-19-2013, 04:46 PM   #12
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

I can't even imagine. I've used a horse whip. You're not technically even supposed to hit a horse with it in most circumstances. I know how to make it snap to get a horse's attention, but would never snap it that hard on a horse's back. But then, I can barely use a riding crop on a horse. I have to be completely out of options to get the horse moving before I use it.
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Old 11-19-2013, 05:07 PM   #13
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Default Re: It makes me feel sad that someone would think this is acceptable

While I understand that this kind of comment is very disturbing, we need to keep discussion in this forum to the words and writings of punitive authors/teachers.
  • We have no idea who this person is.
  • We have no idea if she is speaking the truth or just trying to upset people.
  • As she has not set herself up as a teacher, her words are just her opinion, sad and unpleasant as they are.
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