has anyone NOT heard punitive methods from church?

I don't have that either. My church doesn't actually have a parenting or discipline philosophy, stated or implicit. I have never heard my pastor say anything at all about spanking or not or any of it, and yes, he has 4 grown children. I'll have to ask around!

I've never heard spanking promoted from the pulpit. Children's ministries recently offered a Dobson based class, but made it clear that "spanking isn't for everyone." A minister's wife once suggested Sheparding a Child's Heart at MOPS, but she was speaking for herself, not as "the church." Honestly, I'd be shocked to hear anyone in the pulpit suggest that we had to follow a particular parenting method. It just doesn't fit. Spanking is generally viewed as a "questionable" parenting practice. A number of families probably do it, but you don't admit to it in public or when you're unsure of your audience. Time outs are very much the norm, but again, no one is going to call me on the carpet if I don't use them, and nobody is going to suggest in a sermon that I should.

At our church we don't have any said parenting programs and our pastor hasn't talked about discipline as a sermon yet, but I think it is coming. I know they (pastor and his wife) have spanked, but they are people who want to learn so are open to other opinions. They respect us and are aware we don't spank. I have felt a urge to pray that God will really stretch him when studying about discipline. If he does preach spanking my husband and I will question him on it and ask him to read Crystal's, Grace Based Parenting and reconcile his doctrine of Grace with it. We have butt heads over other issues and remained friends, so I think he knows we are loving apologetics.

I mentioned to his wife who is a close friend about the Pearls the other day. She couldn't recall them at first, but then remembered reading their book. She made the comment that there was a lot of good basics in it! I strongly stated why that couldn't be. Gave her graphic details as to what they promote and how it conflicts with the Gospel. She didn't defend it anymore, and was horrified. I hope my conversation will keep the Pearls far from our church. As I told her if our church began teaching it "I would go ballistic!"

Prior to coming here I had never heard of Pearl. I was aware of Ezzo as a LLL leader as we are briefed on converts who come to LLL meetings to sell Babywize. Had one if you can believe it. Baby cried the whole meeting.

I must admit I'm encouraged to know that there are so many churches/pastors out there who don't insist that spanking is the only way to parent.

[milkmommy]

Originally Posted by palil

I must admit I'm encouraged to know that there are so many churches/pastors out there who don't insist that spanking is the only way to parent.

same here
Deanna

I heard it plenty growing up! But the church we are in now... NOPE!!! PTL!!! I've never even heard our current pastor or his wife reference spanking (but I know they don't like Ezzo!)

the church we currently attend has not made mention of corporal chastement.they do however promote james dobson.however, the church i grew up in believed in following
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction drive it far from him}to the letter. in fact that's how most of the families i knew raised their children. we never considered ourselves "abused". the county school system used corporal chastement up until my sister graduated in 1997.
denise

[Epieikeia]

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction drive it far from him}to the letter. in fact that's how most of the families i knew raised their children. we never considered ourselves "abused". the county school system used corporal chastement up until my sister graduated in 1997.

If you mean PTL they stopped spanking then I agree (and disregard below ).... PTL!

If you meant PTL they did spank:

I 100% disagree with the idea that spanking in the school system is healthy or beneficial. Though one may argue spanking one's children from the Bible (though I would disagree with the conclusion, I understand the reasoning)...I don't see how one could argue that a non-parent spanking a child is Biblical and something that the Lord smiles down upon.

I am of the opinion that spankings should be banned from the public school system and private as well....especially since we do know that some perverts do in fact become teachers (in which we spend millions a year on putting such teachers in "rubber rooms" because firing them for perversion is difficult due to union rules and regulations).

[Katigre]

I've never heard or seen that stuff at my church. GKGW is generally frowned upon, b/c there's only one family i know that does it and the mom has mentioned before that others are judgemental of it.

The only time parenting is discussed from the pulpit is in the general context of raising your children in the Lord, not specific techniques or 'this is THE way.' When a parenting class is offered, it's on the Boundaries with Kids book which i know is somewhat punitive, but i don't think those parts are emphasized b/c parents who go to the class have just talked about learning that it's not about 'controlling' your children, but rather letting them discover the consequences of their actions and choices, which is a lot healthier of a discipline atmosphere.

My mom is on staff at our church and she cleared out all the Ezzo stuff that was there from years before (people donating books and such).

Never -- the Pearls, Ezzo, etc. don't seem to be big in Catholic circles. Probably has something to do with the vast theological differences! I'd honestly be surprised if our priests had even heard of either of them.

[milkmommy]

Originally Posted by Mommy2three

the church we currently attend has not made mention of corporal chastement.they do however promote james dobson.however, the church i grew up in believed in following
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction drive it far from him}to the letter. in fact that's how most of the families i knew raised their children. we never considered ourselves "abused". the county school system used corporal chastement up until my sister graduated in 1997.
denise

I'm a little confused are you happy they did spank or that its no longer done?

Deanna

I don't know!!! I haven't heard anything from the pulpit but our church is running a "Raising Godly Families" seminar this Sunday that we're going to and I have no idea what to expect. It's being run by the head minister and he's said it's mainly about how to instill a love for God and raising kids to want to follow Jesus etc but I'm still nervous coz I really don't see his kids being all that great in this arena and the associate minister who's just had his first baby is using Babywise on his 3 week old.... We'll see come Sunday I suppose.

[Wonder Woman]

raquel, I 'd be a bit nervous of that, too...especially with Baby(un)Wise in the leadership

At least you aren't in a position to be swayed from GBD

Deanna, I'm a bit confused on that one too

I've never heard anything punitive from the pulpit either. Parenting isn't really mentioned at all. The only time it was, logical consequences were mentioned. Parenting classes are not offered either. Our library does have a few Dobson books but none of the others (Tripp, Ezzo, Pearl). I'm guessing those were probably donated, as most of the books in there were. I'm sure there are families who spank but it's not discussed.

[erinee]

Originally Posted by milkmommy

I'm a little confused are you happy they did spank or that its no longer done?

Deanna

Usually here at GCM I would assume the PTL goes with the fact that it's no longer done, but in context with the rest of the post, about how they were raised that way and never considered themselves abused and the verse quoted, I'm confused, too.