Baby(un)Wise

[FlyingBlueKiwi]

Originally Posted by LisaM

I could not shake the impression that the Ezzos really don't like children.

I would think from their materials, it's pretty clear they loathe children.

[rjy9343]

One thing that jumps out at me is that there are a lot of punitive authors that still have a relationship with their children. And it appears to be a warm one. Punitive parenting does not cause your children to cut you out of their lives. There are a lot of questions in my mind about that and the first one is how can anyone take parenting advice from someone that does not have a relationship with either of their children? It is simply not natural or normal to cut loving parents out of your life.
The other thing is I did read BW and BW2 after Ivy turned two or three thinking that by now the baby ick would not bother me. I was so wrong. The antagonistic attitudes they have towards kids rubbed off on me and I started resenting Ivy! I would like to read the rest of the series, but I am going to have to wait until she is an adult and that ick can't hurt us.
Their teachings twisted or down right lied about ap, the studies they cited were at least ten years old and there were no straight answers about things like feeding when baby is hungry. On one hand, you fed your baby when she was hungry, but if she did not get a full feeding because she fell asleep, then she waited until the next feed. Or how parent directed feeding is the safe sane middle ground to scheduled feeding and demand feeding.

[Zooey]

Originally Posted by rjy9343

One thing that jumps out at me is that there are a lot of punitive authors that still have a relationship with their children. And it appears to be a warm one. Punitive parenting does not cause your children to cut you out of their lives. There are a lot of questions in my mind about that and the first one is how can anyone take parenting advice from someone that does not have a relationship with either of their children? It is simply not natural or normal to cut loving parents out of your life.
The other thing is I did read BW and BW2 after Ivy turned two or three thinking that by now the baby ick would not bother me. I was so wrong. The antagonistic attitudes they have towards kids rubbed off on me and I started resenting Ivy! I would like to read the rest of the series, but I am going to have to wait until she is an adult and that ick can't hurt us.
Their teachings twisted or down right lied about ap, the studies they cited were at least ten years old and there were no straight answers about things like feeding when baby is hungry. On one hand, you fed your baby when she was hungry, but if she did not get a full feeding because she fell asleep, then she waited until the next feed. Or how parent directed feeding is the safe sane middle ground to scheduled feeding and demand feeding.

That's really good point. It takes an extreme amount of toxicity for a grown child to reject parents....

[Hilary316]

Originally Posted by cbmk4

Yes, it is manipulative and his methods prey on parents who are eager to do everything right--i.e., those parents who may have an inflated sense of how much they are going to be able to control their children and the outcome of rearing them. Let's face it, having a child is such a huge life changing event. For many people, planning and seeking control in an otherwise new situation that feels out of control is a way that people instinctively try to lower their stress levels.

Yep, this is the exact reason it appealed to me as a new mom. A well meaning church friend (with 8 awesome, obedient children, no less) gave me the original study book and the doubt and guilt that it cast in my heart was just.... well, I couldnt fight it, and I became obsessed with baby sleep from the time she gave it to me (my baby was 10 weeks) until I had my third baby. I am a first generation Christian, I knew nothing about babies (at all, never babysat or anything) so I needed help and yes, I wanted to do it the RIGHT way and so that mixed with PPD, the huge life change that having a baby brings... it was really bad. I barely remember anything about my first daughter's first year of life except being obsessed with timing her naps and bedtime. I have several friends who say the same.

[Hermana Linda]

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[rjy9343]

[bliss]

God is not glorified by a baby with carrots in her hair. Like *God* God? God that made everything and runs everything? He may have bigger fish to fry than food on a baby's face.

I'm so glad I never bought into any of that stuff. My dd was an easygoing baby who scheduling probably would have worked pretty well for. My son though, he was SO needy, and nursed SO much, I can't even imagine the damage to his psyche a program like Babywise would have done .

[katiekind]

God is not glorified by a baby with carrots in her hair.

That quote was so goofy. I have a memory of hearing the Ezzos say that on their radio program (they had a call-in radio program back in the day) while I had just been admiring the way God had wired my baby to engage and learn about his surroundings by exploring it carefully with all his senses, which at that present moment was some food on his highchair tray. The process was a little messy but God did not care about a little mess. God was glorified by the way HE made babies to learn.

[keepinghome]

Lol at "hate read". I read the pearls ttuac like that. It is so ridiculous. Its oddly enjoyable for me to read and disagree with something so much.... i keep them around when i feel in the mood. maybe because its the only fun "critical" (hardly) thinking I get to do ha

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[OatsandBran11]

A friend asked me if I wanted to borrow her copy of Babywise II because it was very helpful regarding starting solids and discipline. Having read and rejected the first one, I said no thanks because the schedule thing didn't really apply to us.

I always wondered about the discipline part. At that time, I felt maybe I was missing something since I didn't really see a need to discipline my 6 month old? Now I understand...DD needed to be disciplined not to get carrots in her hair. My bad.

[rjy9343]

In that paradigm, your daughter needed to be disciplined for a lot of things. Not staying still in her high chair, not sleeping when she is supposed to sleep, not staying on her blanket, not separating from you and generally being selfish and demanding. Their thing is to teach your baby early that he/she is not the center of the world and that he/she must wait his/her turn.
I don't even want to think about what Ivy's life would look like if I followed that advice.