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Old 11-30-2005, 03:30 PM   #1
seth1111
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Default I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

Ladies,

I don't know how to be a Christian mother or a wife. I grew up with a single teenage mom who never remarried until I was out of the house. I never learned simple things like how to manage time or how to be a positive, gentle mom. It was not a Christian home, so the values I learned were mostly feminist and agnostic. So now, I find myself lost in the shuffle. Trying to be something I've only glimpsed in other church families.

I am 31, married, and I have a one year old son. I can't keep up with laundry, bills, tending to my husband's needs, general mothering, taking care of myself, etc. I am always behind and I am just surviving from day to day. It seems like I run my fool butt off everyday and see no improvement. I am sick of feeling sorry for myself and my woundedness. It's time to move on. But I have so many questions and no one to ask. There is no older woman in my life to whom I can ask questions about how to be a good Christian wife and mom...

I have tried reading books but some of what I've read seems really far from my comfort zone -- "Created to Be His Helpmeet" only left me with more questions.

Is anyone out there willing to give me a hand? I would be so greatful!!!

--Thank you! Traci
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Old 11-30-2005, 03:46 PM   #2
RealLifeMama
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner


(((((Traci))))))
Welcome to GCM!


I think it is wonderful that you are wanting to seek God's will as to how to be a good Christian wife and mother.
The first thing I would do is throw that book away!!!!
Do a search for Debi Pearl and you will learn why!
If that is why you feel so defeated, it is the book, not you!


We all have times where we get behind and stay there for a while. I like Flylady's motto 'You are not behind. Don't try to catch up. Just jump in where you are" Somethng like that.....
Honestly, the tasks of homekeeping and mothering are so endless, that we are not behind. We just do it when it gets done!

I am hardly qualified to be mentor in this area, as homekeeping is my largest struggle in life. But there are lots of moms in the same boat as you here and lots of good threads about how to get going and such.
We can all help each other grow and do better!
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Old 11-30-2005, 04:01 PM   #3
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

((((Traci)))) I do Motivated Moms - I get the daily email and it helps me tremendously. I usually get 5 things in my inbox to do - plus the daily stuff like empty the dishwasher. It's the vaccuum the downstairs instruction or clean toilets that helps me. Today has been a pretty low motivation day here. But tomorrow will be better

I actually wrote out a schedule for myself. It really helps me keep track of my time. And I can look at the clock and say "oh it's 5 time to make dinner" I made it by looking at our day - so I wasn't trying to fit stuff in where it wouldn't - like we don't get up at 6 so my schedule doesn't start then - it starts at 730. We are slow risers so I know we lay in bed and nurse, drink coffee and chat for 30 minutes. So we don't go downstairs for bfast till 8. Realistic goals are good
Bills, I pay bills 2 times a month - it's actually on the Motivated Moms schedule.

HTH Some -- You've come to a good place. There's lots of good smart Christian moms here
(((Hugs)))
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Old 11-30-2005, 04:10 PM   #4
seth1111
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

Okay,

Thanks for being here for me already. It actually has brought tears to my eyes to know that there are loving people out there who are willing to offer support. So, thank you both for giving me encouragement. I will look into both Flylady and Motivated Moms. Thank you!
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Old 11-30-2005, 08:17 PM   #5
LadybugSam
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

OH i wish i saw this post before i made my own. I feel the same way that you do

Not everyone is born knowing how to do this stuff. I hope that we can both learn something new.
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Old 12-01-2005, 08:28 AM   #6
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

If you want to make a customized plan for your house, I really like the masterplanbook / aplanofattack yahoo groups. You do the master plan book first, then move on to the other group. You can find them if you search in yahoo groups.

Here's some other good sites from my bookmarks:

http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/home
http://www.christianhomekeeper.com/kitchen2.html (poke around the site for articles on other rooms)
http://organizedhome.com/
http://www.howtocleananything.com/fr...seinterior.htm
http://hannahkeeley.com/ (her book is really funny and she's a Christian AP mom)
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:34 AM   #7
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

Hi Traci! Welcome, from another newbie! My "growing-up situation" was completely different from yours--my mother was EXTREMELY organized. Naturally so. And so she just DID stuff, but she never thought to teach me. It all came naturally to her, but not so much to me. I've learned a few tips over the years I've been a wife and mom, and I'd be happy to help you at all if I can!

That said, AmyDoll, I'd like to hear more about Motivated Moms. I'm poking around on the website now and haven't yet come across where it tells about the emails....If I don't figure it out, I may pop back over here for more specific directions from you for this often-computer-challenged soul!

(Hi Punkie--I'll try not to confuse you with everyone else on this thread, like I did on that other one! )
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Old 12-01-2005, 11:13 AM   #8
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

Hi!

Here's the motivated moms link:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MotivatedMom/
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Old 12-01-2005, 03:59 PM   #9
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

Lainesletters.com has a lot of wonderful help and advice from a Godly perspective.
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Old 12-05-2005, 12:26 PM   #10
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Default Re: I Need a Mentor and an Accountability Partner

Taking notes...
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