rules on food with other kids

[milkmommy]

We allow a somewhat free range of food with our own kids. Mostly because I know their own eating habits and they have been "trained" well.
However the visiting neighbors kids have NO boundaries and act like they never get fed at home. or worse have any clue in how to not make a huge mess everywhere.
Lately Ive just been telling them to stay out of my kitchen period and to go to their own house if they are hungry/Thirsty. I feels kinda mean but seriously I NEED some kinda clear boundry. I'm at a loss though and it is getting frustrating.

[joystrength]

We have neighbor kids over ALL The time. THey asked me for drinks ... and I do water only. Mainly, because it's what we drink 92% of the time. They declined! I can literally throw a rock (I DON'T) and hit their house.

Other kids who are over all the time, not necessarily neighbors, get cups with names on them that stay on my kitchen table. Snacks are generally popcorn with all kids sitting, eating and then DONE.



You have to do what works. FOR YOU!

[Soliloquy]

When we lived in a neighborhood, I would provide water but that was it. Otherwise it got very expensive because the neighbor kids came to our house almost daily but their parents didn't allow any other kids in their home. Once in awhile we would make cookies or something all together and then everyone would share.

[mamahammer]

The kids who are here, eat our food. That's the way it always was growing up in our house, so it never occurred to me to do otherwise. Our neighbors always share food with our kids when they're over at other homes, too.

Of course, I'm used to buying food for the extra teenagers that showed up at our house. They would walk in, open the fridge and pantry, and eat/drink which is just how I wanted it.

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[WanderingJuniper]

I wish I could just let them free range in our kitchen but even my kids would eat us out of house and home in that senario. Instead I always have popcorn on hand and we make it on the stove top in large batches and season it up differently so its like a treat they don't get at home and it costs me pennies. We don't keep many if any drinks that are not water so every gets water at our house when they come over. If its summer I may have iced tea or lemonade but even that is unlikely.

[milkmommy]

Originally Posted by mamahammer

The kids who are here, eat our food. That's the way it always was growing up in our house, so it never occurred to me to do otherwise. Our neighbors always share food with our kids when they're over at other homes, too.

Of course, I'm used to buying food for the extra teenagers that showed up at our house. They would walk in, open the fridge and pantry, and eat/drink which is just how I wanted it.

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You must have a huge food budget then. (nothing wrong with that but we just can't do that). It was more how I grew up so it feels mean when I say stop and go get food at your own home. (which yes is like 6 feet from ours) but we in no way have extra funds to feed extra kids so they can free range find things.
We have invited a friend to stay for dinner Ive made some snacks solely to share popcorn, occasional baked goods I give water freely etc but just trying to freely open the fridge cabinets and get ANYTHING nope sorry.

---------- Post added at 07:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:52 PM ----------

Originally Posted by WanderingJuniper

I wish I could just let them free range in our kitchen but even my kids would eat us out of house and home in that senario. Instead I always have popcorn on hand and we make it on the stove top in large batches and season it up differently so its like a treat they don't get at home and it costs me pennies. We don't keep many if any drinks that are not water so every gets water at our house when they come over. If its summer I may have iced tea or lemonade but even that is unlikely.

Yea we can't do that (free range) either. I do a LOT of popcorn here too They finish it off in like 2 minutes.
What is kinda umm interesting our neighbors aren't fed the best diet they pretty much live on take out, delivery pizza and chips soda etc. Slightly salted cooked in coconut oil is for them healthy.. They will devour fruit like nothing but it is jsut too expensive to always give and they will often just waste it anyways. THe few times I bring packaged "goodies" (sweets or like chips) they think it is okay to jsut eat it all at once because in their home their is ALWAYS more where that came from.

[ValiantJoy07]

We've just started playing with the little girl next door. They can have Bugs Bunny Carrots and water.... that's it.

We'll be the carrot people. I always liked snacks at other peoples houses growing up. My mom made everything from scratch growing up... except pretzels. Other people had real snacks... chips... cookies (packaged ones!!!). We very occasionally had cookies my Mom made... mainly one choice: pretzels.


I try hard to buy allergy friendly prepackaged foods a few tikes a month.

anyway, hold a boundary that works for you sounds good.

[milkmommy]

anyway, hold a boundary that works for you sounds good.

How though is the big question. I say no and "they" get upset and announce they are going home.. For me and Cecilia For Margaret it is a huge let down and crushes her.

[righteous mama]

Originally Posted by milkmommy

How though is the big question. I say no and "they" get upset and announce they are going home.. For me and Cecilia For Margaret it is a huge let down and crushes her.

It most likely won't last. In the beginning they will make a scene, most likely because that's how they get what they want at home. But I imagine it'll lessen over time. I would just encourage the girls that it's most likely temporary.

I personally don't mind feeding kids. It is part of my love language, I think. I will make cookies from scratch, etc. I will buy extra popsicles (cheap ones) to keep on hand. I would give limits, but I don't mind if they nosh while they play.

[ValiantJoy07]

that stinks. Maybe you could be the carrot house too. Or redirect them to some thing else. Could redirecting them to another activity work? What about 3 cheap snack options? Growing up it was pretzels or freeze pops.
freeze pops (if you do dyes) or popsicles (home made pretty cheap) they are super cheap, a good outdoor snack...