Tying Heart Strings

[tigerlily]

Originally Posted by SortaCrunchy

Karen - thank you so much for asking this question. Since all of the Pearl/Lydia Schatz discussion began, I've been wondering about this tying heart strings thing. And I COMPLETELY agree with what you said: "maybe you shouldn't have destroyed the trust in the first place."

Me too -- "tying heartstrings" is a difficult concept to me w/o the punitive bent. I've been wondering as well.

[tempestjewel]

Originally Posted by SortaCrunchy

Karen - thank you so much for asking this question. Since all of the Pearl/Lydia Schatz discussion began, I've been wondering about this tying heart strings thing. And I COMPLETELY agree with what you said: "maybe you shouldn't have destroyed the trust in the first place."

I've been thinking about this more and more. A lot of Pearlites have very natural living tendencies, which are great for forming trust and relationship, but then they turn around and do things that are so . If you try not to break that bond of trust, then there is a lot less need to "tie heartstrings" because their hearts are naturally bound to yours. Maybe that is why the "tying heartstrings" thing is so to a lot of us, because we don't need to actively fix what isn't broken!

I know, at least, with my DD's (who I don't parent perfectly!), they know how much they mean to me without me trying to constantly do/say things to "confirm" this for them. While I do show a lot of affection and say I love you, they just know this at the core of themselves- and the fundamental truth that they are loved by me and by God *no matter what* is an amazing gift.

It's taken me many, many adult years to get to get away from my distorted views of God, and one of the best thing is knowing that I'm giving my children a much more accurate picture of God in the first place!

TempestJewel, that was wonderfully said. It explains why I just didn't get it. Thank you for putting it into words.

[UltraMother]

Rather, poison with a little bit of soup in it.

[Zooey]

Originally Posted by Hermana Linda

Pearl's teachings are based on manipulation, thought control and BF Skinner behaviorism. The Tying Heart Strings is part of the manipulation. Children who are raised that way end up with Stockholm Syndrome. They often believe that it is great and continue in the error, subjecting their own children to the same treatment.

Exactly!!
There is tying heart strings that is positive--building up a foundation of love & trust.
And then there is tying heart strings that is, as Linda says, manipulating children through fear & thought control.
One of the problems with false teachings is that they are so often disguised with language that sounds like it is saying one thing, but is actually meaning something altogether different.....