Random Quotes from Wise Mamas |
br>
|
Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
06-23-2012, 09:19 AM | #1 |
Rose Bush
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 493
|
Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
An unsolicited copy of No Greater Joy's bimonthly mag! Wasn't that nice of them?
I have a pretty good crap-dar so I read it out of curiosity. Most of it was pretty mild (other than the fact that I know what they mean every time they use the word "training"). But one thing really made me . Their son Nathan wrote how he makes his son eat green beans. "Even if he says he doesn't like them, even if it makes him cry, I compel him to eat them because I know he will be healthier and learn self-discipline if he has a history of eating green beans." That's bad enough but his conclusion is so laughable it's sad: "When he is a teenager and someone offers him drugs, it will be his habit to make choices based on a body of knowledge and a history of previous choices...he will not be easily led astray because he knows and cherishes a better way..." So forcing your kid to eat green beans (in essence removing their choices) helps them make better choices later on? What if the pressure to do something wrong comes from someone else the child looks up to or a perceived authority figure? Seems to me it sets them up for failure... I'm glad I can see this stuff for what it really is...
__________________
Elyse ISTJ - DYT 4/1 Wife to my highschool sweetheart Mommy to: V-age 6 M -age 3.5
Last edited by Elyse221; 06-23-2012 at 04:30 PM. Reason: typo |
The Following 29 Users Say Thank You to Elyse221 For This Useful Post: | Annalou (07-26-2012), ArmsOfLove (06-23-2012), Castle On A Cloud (06-23-2012), cbmk4 (06-23-2012), CelticJourney (06-23-2012), Damselfly (06-23-2012), dukeofhazzard (06-25-2012), dulce de leche (06-25-2012), Glitterfish (06-23-2012), Heather Micaela (07-02-2012), homesteadmama (06-30-2012), kwisie (06-25-2012), Lily (06-30-2012), PaperMomma (06-23-2012), PlateauMama (06-23-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), rosesnsnails (07-02-2012), runningmama (06-23-2012), SalH (06-28-2012), saturnfire16 (06-23-2012), SewingGreenMama (06-23-2012), shaslove (06-23-2012), Sparrow (06-23-2012), Taedareth (06-28-2012), Tandem mama (06-23-2012), Tasmanian Saint (06-27-2012), tazmom (06-26-2012), wallflowermama (06-28-2012), Zooey (06-23-2012) |
06-23-2012, 09:28 AM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
isn't it amazing how backwards the logic is? I have wondered if that is because this approach to parenting shuts down the brain before the age at which logic kicks in and instead focuses on filling the brain during the years before logic with things "memorized".
__________________
|
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post: | Annalou (07-26-2012), cbmk4 (06-23-2012), Domina (06-23-2012), Elyse221 (06-23-2012), homesteadmama (06-30-2012), magpiedpiper (06-23-2012), MercyInDisguise (06-28-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), Zooey (06-23-2012) |
06-23-2012, 09:39 AM | #3 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 4,560
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
|
06-23-2012, 09:40 AM | #4 |
Deactivated
Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
That's so funny. I needed the laugh. Thanks!
Oh, wait. He was serious. It's hard to understand how people believe that, but I know they do. It makes *opposite* sense-- see I'm forcing him against his will now, so he will be more susciptable to being pressured later b/c I've removed his sense of self. |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to klpmommy For This Useful Post: | ArmsOfLove (06-23-2012), dukeofhazzard (06-25-2012), dulce de leche (06-25-2012), Elyse221 (06-23-2012), Johns_Gal (06-23-2012), kwisie (06-25-2012), Lily (06-30-2012), MercyInDisguise (06-28-2012), mountainash (06-26-2012), november (06-23-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), rosesnsnails (07-02-2012), runningmama (06-23-2012), StewardofLOs (06-23-2012), Taedareth (06-28-2012), Tandem mama (06-23-2012), Tasmanian Saint (06-27-2012), tazmom (06-26-2012), wallflowermama (06-28-2012) |
06-23-2012, 09:45 AM | #5 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
Quote:
Honestly, it sounds like Nathan has had all his common sense & reason trained out of him by....Oh, yeah. His parents.
__________________
"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss |
|
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Zooey For This Useful Post: | Castle On A Cloud (06-23-2012), Elyse221 (06-23-2012), klpmommy (06-23-2012), Lily (06-30-2012), Llee (06-28-2012), MercyInDisguise (06-28-2012), mountainash (06-26-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), rjy9343 (06-23-2012), Taedareth (06-28-2012) |
06-23-2012, 10:12 AM | #6 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: On an Aircraft carrier
Posts: 1,835
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
Eeps, not I'm nervous because I request my kids do a 'try me' bite when I fix something new. If they take 2 bites and STILL 100% hate it then fine, but I do request they at least try it, not just dismiss it because it has something green or red in it...I will say, in most things (not all, but many) once they try it they like it. There are a couple meals that one of the other have tried and still hate. I'm okay with that (and I may still fix it if other people in the family like it, I'll make the one that doesn't like it pb&j or something)...so long as they've tried it.
__________________
Renae (INFP), loving wife to Josh since October 2002. Gentle Mama-wanna be to J-bird since January 2005, Dree-Dree since October 2007, and baby Engine since January 2010. Someone new coming May 2013 x2, Sept. 2004 & June 2012 Make a pregnancy ticker |
06-23-2012, 10:15 AM | #7 | |
Deactivated
I am no man!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: KS
Posts: 26,727
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
Quote:
My favorite is the old I want them to be used to submitting to me so submitting to God is easier for them. I totally get the desire behind that. I do. It gets a lot lost in applying it practically. You can't force someone to submit. It's a voluntary action. If you make them do it, they're not submitting--they're being compelled. And what happens when you're forced to do something for ages and suddenly that force stops? |
|
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Eowyn For This Useful Post: | dulce de leche (06-25-2012), Elyse221 (06-23-2012), klpmommy (06-23-2012), magpiedpiper (06-23-2012), MercyInDisguise (06-28-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), rjy9343 (06-23-2012), Zooey (06-23-2012) |
06-23-2012, 10:16 AM | #8 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,751
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
How awesome. Perhaps No Greater Joy should consider a new article title: How to Train Compliant Lemmings.
Glad you didn't get sucked in, mama. |
06-23-2012, 02:17 PM | #9 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,861
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
This is very interesting to me. I have heard so very little about Nathan Pearl, I didn't even know his name. I would be interested in posting about (or linking to a post on) this topic, if anyone is interested in writing it.
__________________
My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Hermana Linda For This Useful Post: |
06-23-2012, 03:23 PM | #10 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,938
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
I was forced to ear brussle sprouts once till I was crying. Guess how many times I have had them since? Never, and I wont ever either. Forcing your child to eat green beans doesn't guarentee they won't do drugs or that they'll eat green beans when they are older for that matter.
__________________
Celeste INFJ
Married to Marcus June 2009 Mama to "Little Bear" February 2011 Welcome Baby "YoYo" !! January 2014 Keeper of one grey cat Liz ...Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40 |
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to LearningMama For This Useful Post: | Annalou (07-26-2012), ArmsOfLove (06-23-2012), dulce de leche (06-25-2012), homesteadmama (06-30-2012), justbreathe (06-26-2012), kwisie (06-25-2012), MercyInDisguise (06-28-2012), runningmama (06-23-2012), SalH (06-28-2012), Taedareth (06-28-2012), tazmom (06-26-2012), UltraMother (06-23-2012), Zooey (06-26-2012) |
06-23-2012, 03:23 PM | #11 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 10,090
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
My first thought when I read the logic behind the green beans was what kind of drugs is he taking and where can I get them.
There are so many reasons that he could have given that would have at least made sense. It is good manners, to show respect for his mother's time, to learn to like them, it teaches self discipline, it reminds him I am in charge. All of those could be believed without checking your ability to think at the door. But to say that he will value his body and have the courage to refuse drugs is so convoluted that I have to wonder if he himself is on some sort of drug.
__________________
Rita s IstJ Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08 Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10 mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15 Often Please forgive my frequent typos Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!! I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook |
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to rjy9343 For This Useful Post: | Annainprogress (06-26-2012), Annalou (07-26-2012), Elyse221 (06-23-2012), klpmommy (06-23-2012), kwisie (06-25-2012), MomtoJGJ (06-26-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), runningmama (06-23-2012), SalH (06-28-2012), Tasmanian Saint (06-27-2012), tazmom (06-26-2012), Zooey (06-26-2012) |
06-23-2012, 04:41 PM | #12 | |
Rose Bush
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 493
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
Quote:
__________________
Elyse ISTJ - DYT 4/1 Wife to my highschool sweetheart Mommy to: V-age 6 M -age 3.5
|
|
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Elyse221 For This Useful Post: | Annainprogress (06-26-2012), MercyInDisguise (06-28-2012), rjy9343 (06-24-2012), runningmama (06-23-2012), SalH (06-28-2012), Zooey (06-26-2012) |
06-23-2012, 06:08 PM | #13 | |
Rose Blossom
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: sunshine state
Posts: 227
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
wow! is this really true? ok...this is in response to something I need to quote. hang on...still learning here.
---------- Post added at 09:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:06 PM ---------- Quote:
Last edited by iwillhope; 06-23-2012 at 06:07 PM. Reason: b/c I thought I was replying to a specific post above. |
|
06-23-2012, 06:14 PM | #14 |
Rose Garden
I am so hopelessly in love..
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chillin' in the California hills
Posts: 24,678
|
We watched a segment on AFV the other night where a little girl was forced to eat green beans. She screamed and cried the whole time. One of the commentators called her a horrible child. . I was able to talk to cias about how horrible that wad, and how when it happened to me, i didn't eat green beans until i was an adult. I was so mad they showed it on there. Sadly it's on dvd, so we watch it often.
I would burn the magazine and send the Pearls the ashes. But they'd probably enjoy that. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
The Following User Says Thank You to hey mommy For This Useful Post: | Zooey (06-26-2012) |
06-23-2012, 06:26 PM | #15 |
Deactivated
Hi ! I'm Myrtle. I like to pretend I'm an R.O.U.S.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: under the cat
Posts: 17,112
|
Re: Guess What I Got in the Mail Today?
I , sadly , bought into the whole "you'll eat this and if you don't , you're disobeying me and I'll make you so you'll learn to listen and obey me" garbage.
My husband , upon viewing me forcing our son to eat green beans for the first time (I'd forced before , but dh wasn't home) , well , my hubby blew a gasket "Way to make him not only hate food , but hate you too in the process. No kid of mine will be forced to eat anything they don't want to. He tasted it , didn't like it , end of story. *to ds* you can get down little buddy , this won't happen again." It stuck in my mind because I so desperately wanted to be the "good christian mom" and it was a rare time when dh spoke up and said , "Good christian mothers don't torture their children like that. " Made me cry , but also made me WAKE UP. Glad you didn't get sucked in Mama...Glad you listened to your gut. (ftr: My son will be 20yrs old and I can't get him to taste any food. I ask , but he doesn't trust me , not even this many years later. My other two kids don't have these serious food issues. One will eat anything /try anything , and the other has food allergies ..her choices are limited...but she LOVES to cook/bake/experiment. It's just the one child...the one subjected to that twisted logic....that doesn't like new foods...doesn't trust others when they say 'it's good , have a bite." It's sad really. And my fault.) |
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to J3K For This Useful Post: | Annainprogress (06-26-2012), ArmsOfLove (06-23-2012), Elyse221 (06-24-2012), HadassahSukkot (06-26-2012), Heather Micaela (07-02-2012), homesteadmama (06-30-2012), justbreathe (06-26-2012), kwisie (06-25-2012), Lily (06-30-2012), nessnco (06-29-2012), PaperMomma (06-26-2012), PrincessAnika (06-28-2012), rjy9343 (06-24-2012), SalH (06-28-2012), SewingGreenMama (06-23-2012), Taedareth (06-28-2012), Tandem mama (06-23-2012), Tasmanian Saint (06-27-2012), tazmom (06-26-2012), Zooey (06-26-2012) |
Bookmarks |
|
|
X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information | |
---|---|
|
|
More Information | |
Template Usage:
Phrase Groups Available:
|
Included Files:
Hooks Called:
|