Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.
I am with this. I am so very against spanking I would not have a child with someone who would spank because my children are NOT going to be hit. I would physically put myself between my child and anyone who would try to harm them, including a spouse. Time and time again I read of incredibly heartbroken women on here who think it is wrong to spank but cannot get their husband to stop hitting the kids. I would not choose to walk into that scenario. I know that sounds extreme but it is how I feel.
I actually got the coming in between them idea from you. The first time I saw where you posted it, I could not believe I did think of that. But up until my daughter was about four months old, I was still willing to spank for emergencies like trying to run away or something like that because until less than a year ago all I knew was spanking. When we got married, we were on the same page, now poor dh is being forced to relearn everything he thought he knew.
---------- Post added at 02:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:54 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by raisa
A quick story about how spanking works. Years ago my sister and BIL spanked their young son (1.5, maybe early 2yo) to keep him in bed at bedtime. He'd cry, go back to bed, but then come out of his room for them. Spanked, to bed, come out of the room, over. She was so frustrated -- was she supposed to spank him faster? Harder? I know I posted about it years ago on GCM because it was such a poignant story of a child hurting and yearning for love so badly that he would risk another spanking just to be with his parents for comfort.
Bless his heart my nephew is 8 years old and they have been struggling with nighttime toilet training for YEARS now. I know this affects all children for many reasons and can't be blamed solely on spanking. But when she says "why won't he just WAKE UP and come out of his room to pee?" I can't help but remember how she was determined to break his spirit so he'd never come out of his room at night again
You raise a very good point. That same thing happened with one of my brothers. But until now, I never thought about it being spanking related. I am sorry your nephew is suffering, but thank you for sharing. You shaken loose some other ideas.
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*Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
06-17-2011, 11:58 AM
Re: Spanking "works"
But up until my daughter was about four months old, I was still willing to spank for emergencies like trying to run away or something like that because until less than a year ago all I knew was spanking. When we got married, we were on the same page, now poor dh is being forced to relearn everything he thought he knew.
s IstJ
iNtJ since 4/08
our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10
Please forgive my frequent typos
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