Funeral advice needed

gerberadaisy · 01-15-2015, 10:57 PM

My cousin passed away this evening after a long illness. She lives about 3 hours away. However, the funeral & burial could occur from about 2-6 hours away. If it occurs on Monday, hubs will go with me & will care for our little guy if he gets rammy. However, if it's any other day he won't be able to get off work. I'm really torn because she was close with my mom & I was close with her kids though we drifted in recent years. We don't leave our little guy with any one but my mom so leaving him wouldn't be an option. Anyone else I might consider would either be working or at the funeral. To take him would almost certainly require me to take him out at some point but to not go at all seems disloyal. She has young great grandchildren (younger than my guy of 3) but I don't know if they'll be there or not.

Anyone have any advice? Suggestions? Ugh! I hate this.

MrsDuck · 01-15-2015, 11:23 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. There are a lot of variables there, so it would be hard to offer a suggestin until you know more details. But didn't want to read and run.

Little Forest · 01-15-2015, 11:40 PM

I went to a funeral with a baby 5 mos, 2 1/2 and 5 1/2 yr old on my own.

Then again, they slept through most of it because of being jetlagged.

I wouldn't not go because you have a young child in your hands, even though it's not as easy being on your own.
Posted via Mobile Device

Jeanette598 · 01-16-2015, 06:34 AM

I would go.

Even if you have to take your ds out for part of the service, the fact that you're there will mean a lot to the family. And sometimes having children around at a sad time can be comforting.

CelticJourney · 01-16-2015, 06:38 AM

Dh spent a good portion of my father's funeral in the back or the lobby with ds who was two at the time. Sometimes it's about the interaction before and after the service that is most comforting.

Mother of Sons · 01-16-2015, 08:04 AM

Go. I went to many funerals with small kids. It's not always fun but it's important. Besides its a good learning opportunity for your son. How do kids ever learn to sit and be quiet if never given the opportunity to try?

Katigre · 01-16-2015, 08:31 AM

Go to the funeral if at all possible.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

rjy9343 · 01-16-2015, 09:07 AM

I am another that would go. Even if you spend a good portion of the service in another room, being there would mean a lot.

SpringMama5 · 01-16-2015, 09:59 AM

I would go with my little one. Its better to go and if you have to step out for a little bit its fine. Its better to be there than get criticized for not going at all. Call and find out if they do have a special room or foyer where you can view or listen from.
Im sorry

gerberadaisy · 01-16-2015, 11:32 AM

Thanks ladies. Still haven't heard anything regarding arrangements but looks like I'll most likely be taking him.

WanderingJuniper · 01-16-2015, 12:12 PM

It is hard but I would go. My little cousins were a bright light at my grandmothers funeral.

01-15-2015, 10:57 PM	#1
gerberadaisy Rose Trellis Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,313	Funeral advice needed My cousin passed away this evening after a long illness. She lives about 3 hours away. However, the funeral & burial could occur from about 2-6 hours away. If it occurs on Monday, hubs will go with me & will care for our little guy if he gets rammy. However, if it's any other day he won't be able to get off work. I'm really torn because she was close with my mom & I was close with her kids though we drifted in recent years. We don't leave our little guy with any one but my mom so leaving him wouldn't be an option. Anyone else I might consider would either be working or at the funeral. To take him would almost certainly require me to take him out at some point but to not go at all seems disloyal. She has young great grandchildren (younger than my guy of 3) but I don't know if they'll be there or not. Anyone have any advice? Suggestions? Ugh! I hate this. Last edited by gerberadaisy; 01-15-2015 at 11:48 PM.

01-15-2015, 11:23 PM	#2
MrsDuck Rose Bouquet Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 714	Re: Funeral advice needed I'm sorry for your loss. There are a lot of variables there, so it would be hard to offer a suggestin until you know more details. But didn't want to read and run. __________________ ****************** Mrs Duck Blessed to be a Stay at Home-schooling Mama to: DS1 - Snugglebug - Nov. '08 DS2 - Wiggles - May '12

01-15-2015, 11:40 PM	#3
Little Forest Rose Garden Rich in girls. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Perth hills, Australia Posts: 6,915	Re: Funeral advice needed I went to a funeral with a baby 5 mos, 2 1/2 and 5 1/2 yr old on my own. Then again, they slept through most of it because of being jetlagged. I wouldn't not go because you have a young child in your hands, even though it's not as easy being on your own. Posted via Mobile Device Last edited by Little Forest; 01-15-2015 at 11:58 PM.

01-16-2015, 06:34 AM	#4
Jeanette598 Rose Trellis Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,640	Re: Funeral advice needed I would go. Even if you have to take your ds out for part of the service, the fact that you're there will mean a lot to the family. And sometimes having children around at a sad time can be comforting. __________________ Jeanette Married to J, 5/98 M, our much-loved dd #1, born 8/03 (C-section) B, our long-awaited dd #2, born 11/28/08 (natural VBAC)

01-16-2015, 06:38 AM	#5
CelticJourney Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 34,565	Re: Funeral advice needed Dh spent a good portion of my father's funeral in the back or the lobby with ds who was two at the time. Sometimes it's about the interaction before and after the service that is most comforting. __________________ Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

01-16-2015, 08:04 AM	#6
Mother of Sons Rose Garden My kid shoots laser beams from his hands Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 21,900	Re: Funeral advice needed Go. I went to many funerals with small kids. It's not always fun but it's important. Besides its a good learning opportunity for your son. How do kids ever learn to sit and be quiet if never given the opportunity to try?

01-16-2015, 08:31 AM	#7
Katigre Rose Garden Why thank you, it is naturally blue... Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 21,278	Re: Funeral advice needed Go to the funeral if at all possible. Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

01-16-2015, 09:07 AM	#8
rjy9343 Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 10,090	Re: Funeral advice needed I am another that would go. Even if you spend a good portion of the service in another room, being there would mean a lot. __________________ Rita s IstJ Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08 Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10 mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15 Often Please forgive my frequent typos Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!! I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook

01-16-2015, 09:59 AM	#9
SpringMama5 Rosebud Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Colorado Posts: 122	Re: Funeral advice needed I would go with my little one. Its better to go and if you have to step out for a little bit its fine. Its better to be there than get criticized for not going at all. Call and find out if they do have a special room or foyer where you can view or listen from. Im sorry __________________ ~Rachel~ Married to Dh for 13 yrs mom to: DD1 02/90 DS1 08/04 DD2 10/06 DS2 12/08 DS3 07/10 and

01-16-2015, 11:32 AM	#10
gerberadaisy Rose Trellis Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,313	Re: Funeral advice needed Thanks ladies. Still haven't heard anything regarding arrangements but looks like I'll most likely be taking him.

01-16-2015, 12:12 PM	#11
WanderingJuniper Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 10,819	Re: Funeral advice needed It is hard but I would go. My little cousins were a bright light at my grandmothers funeral.

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