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Old 05-13-2015, 06:55 PM   #1
kiloyd
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Default Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

I think I'm just being grumpy because when the girls have friends over Jason just wants to do everything they do.

I made the rule that there would be no sleep overs until they have been to each other's houses several times.

This one girl has been over here a few times, only playing outside though. Two weeks ago I met the mom and visited with her for an hour in their back yard while the kids played in the back yard and some in her house.

The mom just asked if her dd could spend the night here Friday because another of her children is having a friend over to their house Friday night.

I thought it was a bit rude. Told her I'd see, needed to see what time the thing is that we are going to Saturday. I'm going to say no because we'll be leaving whenever we get up and get moving Saturday.

I only just met the mom. Guess it never hurts to ask but it was weird.
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Old 05-13-2015, 06:56 PM   #2
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

That is a bit unusual.

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Old 05-13-2015, 07:08 PM   #3
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermana Linda View Post
That is a bit unusual.

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Now that I've met the mom, it's not super off the wall, but inviting yourself is for close friends, at least I think so.
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Old 05-13-2015, 07:50 PM   #4
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

I guess different groups of people think differently.

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Old 05-14-2015, 04:35 AM   #5
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

It does seem like something you might ask of another mama friend you are in relationhip with
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Old 05-14-2015, 07:39 AM   #6
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

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Originally Posted by mamacat View Post
It does seem like something you might ask of another mama friend you are in relationhip with
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Old 05-14-2015, 08:45 AM   #7
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

That is something I would only feel comfortable asking if the mom was a close personal friend of *mine*. I feel like invites should mainly come from the person hosting the sleepover. I can see asking if there was an emergency or work or something, but simply because a sibling has a sleepover is pretty presumptuous.
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Old 05-14-2015, 08:51 AM   #8
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

another perspective.... maybe the girl has had issues making/keeping friends or just went thru a friend change/shift. so maybe she has hit it off really well with your daughter and asked her mom if she could sleep over at your house since her sibling is getting a sleepover so the mom may be asking for her daughter, and maybe normally she would ask your daughter over to her house first, but since sibling already is having someone over she thought to see if you would be willing to host the girls.

i don't actually find it odd at all

i notice a lot of you are I's, and i am an E, so i wonder if this is more an introvert/extrovert thing
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Old 05-14-2015, 10:23 AM   #9
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

Quote:
Originally Posted by houseforjoy View Post

i notice a lot of you are I's, and i am an E, so i wonder if this is more an introvert/extrovert thing
Interesting, good point. That is why I post here, to get other opinions.
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Old 05-14-2015, 11:44 AM   #10
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

I know a lot of people who don't allow sleepovers so for that reason alone, I find it presumptuous.
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Old 05-14-2015, 12:08 PM   #11
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

what is presumptuous about asking a question?
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Old 05-14-2015, 12:14 PM   #12
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

There are a lot of questions I would consider presumptuous.

Are you going to have children?

How many?

Are you done?

How much do you weigh?

I consider inviting oneself over for a sleepover to be in the same category of questions you don't ask.
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Old 05-14-2015, 12:17 PM   #13
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

I too think it's a bit presumptuous to be asking a relative stranger if their child could spend the night at your home.

Quote:
Originally Posted by houseforjoy View Post
what is presumptuous about asking a question?
This particular question assumes an intimacy, IMO, that isn't there. Making it presumptuous.
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Old 05-14-2015, 01:34 PM   #14
houseforjoy
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pragmatist View Post
There are a lot of questions I would consider presumptuous.

Are you going to have children?

How many?

Are you done?

How much do you weigh?

I consider inviting oneself over for a sleepover to be in the same category of questions you don't ask.
okay point taken yes those would be presumptuous questions.

i guess it just depends on what you are used to. afwiw my kids have only ever done one sleepover once with relatives. but growing up my mom didn't know all my friends parents before i went over. when you meet kids at school the moms don't always know each other that well.
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How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?....because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.







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Old 05-14-2015, 01:39 PM   #15
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Default Re: Inviting yourself for a sleep over?

Quote:
Originally Posted by houseforjoy View Post
okay point taken yes those would be presumptuous questions.

i guess it just depends on what you are used to. afwiw my kids have only ever done one sleepover once with relatives. but growing up my mom didn't know all my friends parents before i went over. when you meet kids at school the moms don't always know each other that well.
Which is exactly why I said that different groups of people think differently.

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