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Old 05-11-2015, 10:58 PM   #16
L-Boogie
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

We do 3 meals, 2 snack times and often frozen fruit made into "sorbet" after dinner
Kids must eat a decent amount of dinner, most of their veggies if we're going to do dessert. But we either have it as a family or not at all, I wouldn't single out one of the kids.
Rude words about not liking the food are redirected to saying "thanks for dinner, mom!" Or they can leave the table.
I don't make an alternate dinner but i would allow them to eat other veggies instead if they couldn't stand a "one-pot" meal. That has yet to happen though. One pot meals usually go over better actually.
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Old 05-12-2015, 05:38 AM   #17
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

I would say all but one of our dinner meals a week are one pot wonders.

They almost always find one thing in the mishmash that they like...Usually dd2 picks out all the meat and maybe one of the veggies...Dd1 usually skips the meat and eats one of the veggies and the grain (if there is a grain) and dd3 ususally is an all or nothing kid. Though with Chicken Fried Rice she will eat only the rice and the broccoli/veggie. She doesn't like dark meat (which is waht I use because chicken thighs are so much less expensive).
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Old 05-12-2015, 06:24 AM   #18
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids



You have to try a bite. Every time it is served, even if you previously tried it and "didn't like it." (This works at my house because it could have been months since the last time you tried it--it's not like we just had it last week.)

I don't offer special/separate alternatives, with a couple of exceptions:
--If I'm making something ethnic that DH and I really love (Thai chicken tacos, for example)--we see no point in wasting it on the boys when we want to eat it Often when we have Thai tacos I will make mac & cheese for them.
--If we're having giant salads for dinner, sometimes I will serve them "deconstructed salads" since salad isn't their favorite. So they'll get diced grilled chicken, raw veggies, maybe some sliced cheese or yogurt.

We usually save meals if they didn't eat it well, but I am not super strict about making them eat it the very next meal or anything. I never serve it for breakfast. I feel like on the whole, my boys are such good eaters that I don't have to have rigid rules and policies.

Often we will portion out their food carefully to provide incentive. For example, if we're having soup and bread, they'll each get a small bowl of soup and only half a piece of bread. They get the rest of the bread when their soup is gone (otherwise they'll eat all the bread and not have motivation to finish the soup, or be mysteriously "full" and unable to finish the soup). Same with chips and taco dip (we mix taco ingredients in a bowl for them instead of eating messy tacos in tortillas)--you get a few chips, but no more until you eat more dip.

I don't make them clean their plates if they're full, generally--but we usually give appropriate amounts so that they do. On the (rare) occasion that we're having dessert, you *definitely* don't get dessert unless you've eaten all your meat and veggies. If you're too full for the good stuff, you're too full for sweets.

We also have a "no being silly while we're eating" rule...for safety's sake...which not infrequently results in one of the boys eating dinner on a tray in the office because when they're together they can't calm down and stop giggling
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Old 05-12-2015, 07:02 AM   #19
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Oh, and I NEVER require cleaning a plate - I actually encourage them to always leave some food on their plate unless they're really hungry b/c I know too many adults who found the 'celan your plate' taught them to not listen to their body's full/hungry cues and that set them up for overeating as adults.
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Old 05-12-2015, 09:58 AM   #20
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

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Originally Posted by Katigre View Post
They have to take as many bites as years old they are

Out of curiosity, how does this work in a GD family? I'm sure it can be done, but if I told my kids they had to eat one or more bites of everything, there would be no non-punitive way I could enforce that . Maybe it's personality? Or age/maturity?

I do encourage trying everything and I work with my kiddos to make sure their diet is pretty well-rounded.
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Old 05-12-2015, 11:04 AM   #21
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Haven't read the whole thread . . . in general, I only buy foods I'm fine with them eating (my huge frustration is that grandparents insist on giving them tons of candy at every conceivable "holiday" so they always have that around, really really REALLY wish I could put a stop to that! But my mom pushes back with "I've helped you clean out the car and seen the fast food wrappers" ummm . . . yes . . . and I'm ok with doing that BECAUSE we don't have junk at HOME . . .

We don't have desserts after meals with any regularity, and if we do I'm just as likely to have dessert INSTEAD of a meal, as after the fact . . . Like on a hot day saying "eh, let's have ice cream for supper!"

If a kid is in a picky phase I try to keep a semi-accurately tally in my head and generally over the course of the week they end up getting all the main food groups even if one day they only eat fruit and another day they only eat starch, or whatever. . .

I ask that they try a bite of new things or things we haven't had for awhile.

If a kid is in a stage where they're consistently leaving a lot of food on their plate I'll talk to them about wastefulness and if necessary have a rule for awhile that whatever they don't eat gets reheated next meal (with an exception if Daddy serves them and gives them absurdly large servings, because he does that . . . generally it's when they're serving themselves or asking me to "put more on my plate").

If kids don't like what's being served there's usually yogurt, cheese sticks, fruit, raw veggies available, or we can reheat leftovers from another meal. In the case of the 12 yr olds (rarely an issue), they can always fix themselves something different.

My goal is to build healthy eating habits. I've babysat kids whose entire meal focus is on getting to eat the junk food. My kids get as excited, or more excited, about strawberries than they do junky candy. Because usually strawberries are rationed so that everyone gets some, and because I can't afford to buy them in huge quantities. I'm fine with kids having things they don't like (I can't stand mushrooms, there's NO WAY they taste the same way to other people that they do to me, or nobody would eat them. Different people have different taste buds). So we focus on healthy choices and yeah, not having junk in the house.

I'd never thought much about the "you can't have dessert if you don't finish your meal" (not really an issue with my kids, and like I said, we rarely have desserts at home, I'm not going to make a scene about it at Christmas dinner or something). . . then I babysat a little boy whose mom required that he eat the rest of his lunch before he had dessert. I watched that little boy sit at the table for at least a half hour after the other kids had run off to play, obviously forcing himself to keep eating that food in his lunch when he was full, all to eat that little piece of junk candy. It felt so wrong for me! I told my bff, if I were going to babysit him with any regularity, I'd have to tell his mom I couldn't handle that . . . either send less food (and I'll have healthy snacks on hand if he's still hungry) or SOMETHING but I can't handle watching a kid force himself to eat like that. (and I ASSUME that she didn't realize she was sending him too much food, different kids are different and my kids all go through phases where they're bottomless bits and phases where they barely eat enough to keep a gnat alive)).
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Old 05-12-2015, 12:00 PM   #22
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Some food rules we incorporate:

- We have to pour food from containers to a smaller containers rather than eating from the main container (regarding snacking like with pretzels or something like that)
- We have to have vegetables and fruits daily and I allow a green juice or green smoothie to be a way to get vegetables in.
- I allow a sweet thing after dinner like a handful of chocolate morsels (the ones sold as chips for cookies).
- If my child chooses a sugary drink then they can't have a sugary food snack that day (unless it's a special occasion).
- I have introduced my son to some of our fasting rules from our faith (he's 10 now).
- New foods must be experienced but only one bite is required (even if they end up spitting it out).
- I discourage and have denied food when bored or upset. I encourage drinking a glass of water first, and then if he is still hungry in 15 minutes we can get a snack (this was a big emphasis when he was younger to help him learn the difference between thirst and hunger, he at times would confuse the two). We don't eat when angry either.
- I encourage mindful eating and we are able to encourage this by saying grace before meals.
- We emphasize drinking a lot of water throughout the day...we always carry water with us whenever we leave home.

ETA....We also encourage eating to satiety rather than finishing his plate. However, if he leaves food on his plate and he insists that he is "full" I won't allow him to snack on something within an hour's time from dinner. I point him back to his dinner plate that he said he couldn't finish because he was too full....lol On the flipside, if he's eaten his entire plate and insists that he's still hungry, I have him wait 15 minutes so that his brain can get the message that he is full and then offer more food if he finds he is still hungry.

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Old 05-12-2015, 04:59 PM   #23
ValiantJoy07
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Laree, I'm glad to know we're not the only ones who eat dessert for THE meal. A few times a year we'll have brownies and "ice cream" (DF banana based ice cream) for dinner. Growing up waffles and ice cream was a perfectly acceptable sunday dinner.

Oh and as for my snacking rules: I serve snacks at 10 and 2 (and 4 if DH is working late or we have dance). If you ask for food at any other time you will be directed to the carrots in the fridge, or the apples and bananas on the counter. If you're not hungry for any of those things, you're not hungry. I still get hounded for food by certain children some times but my "eat an apple or you're not hungry" line seems to get them off my back.
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Old 05-13-2015, 06:41 AM   #24
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Basically, it's eat what the cook makes. Once you are old enough to serve yourself appropriate portions, you can do so. If you don't take any veggies, you will be good humoredly told to do so. But most of the things we eat have some amount of vegetables in them, anyway.

My older ones do make meals sometimes, and they can all make requests and give input as to their general likes and dislikes. Once the meal is there, though, we don't grumble and make rude comments. Saying "I liked it better when you made it that way" or "This is too spicy for me" or even that you don't like it, as long as it's not a chronic complaint, is fine, but saying its gross and you hate it is not fine.

You never have to finish what is on the plate. Dessert is not tied to eating dinner or a certain amount of anything, but we don't have dessert daily, and when we do we only use fruit sweeteners so I know it's all good stuff. It's really more general guidance: if you leave most everything on your plate, no you can't have three bananas 30 minutes later. But that really doesn't happen, for the most part. We frequently talk about what balanced eating should look like and following hunger cues is stressed.

There have been a few times where one of the kids absolutely hated something, and then if I made it again, I would make something else for them, or set aside a portion with that ingredient left out. That has been rare, though, they aren't very picky past the toddler stage. They don't get a separate meal just because something isn't their favorite. I model the same thing, and point out that yes, I'd rather have a sandwich right now than eat these leftovers, but we don't waste good healthy food when someone took the time to make it, it is still available, and we are hungry.

Last edited by teamommy; 05-13-2015 at 06:46 AM.
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Old 05-13-2015, 07:20 AM   #25
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

My rules would be much different if I had a different husband and a normal daughter. Instead I have a very sensory challenged family with some major food baggage. For the child it is taste all new foods and then you can be done with it. She doesn't like cooked vegetables, but likes raw ones so I only serve those to her. She is never required to clean her plate, if I tried that her father would come after me like an avenging archangel. If she is completely unable to cope with what I made, she gets peanut butter and milk, but no dessert. I do allow snacking as often as she wants since her father snacks through out the day. However her snacks are more or less what she would get at a meal. Things like cheese, fruit, vegetables, yogurt, nuts and meat.
For the husband, do not say anything negative about what she eats. It is hard enough to feed her without hearing her food is weird. Also unless you have safe version of what you are eating, wait until she is asleep. And try one bite before you decide it is not fit for human consumption.
For me it is if you made it, I will eat it. Unless it is seafood, I am allergic to it, but otherwise it is thank you and I enjoyed it.
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Old 05-22-2015, 12:36 PM   #26
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Both my kiddos are quite young still, 2 1/2 and 1yo, but we do two different tactics. Usually there's an item I know the kids will favor (ex. Fruit or bread) over whatever else is on the menu, so we only serve that after the other items, or enough of the other item has been eaten. That leads me to the second thing we do, the bite rule, which is usually three but sometimes we bump it down if it really is a hard item.
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Old 05-22-2015, 01:10 PM   #27
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

My rules:

I don't buy what I don't want them to eat.
My job is to cook the food, theirs is to eat it (or not). That means practically, I put the food on their plate, and they decide if they're going to eat it or not.

They always have hot chocolate and a banana just before bed, so even if they didn't eat their dinner, they won't go super hungry.

We don't do desserts.

If they really really really don't like any aspect of dinner, they can have a pb+h sandwich

No badmouthing the food

Sit at the table for the first ten minutes. Excuse yourself when you're done.
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Old 05-22-2015, 04:05 PM   #28
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

no rude comments (choosing not to eat or even try fine but I dont want to hear how it is gross or going to kill you or whatever).
"one" main alternative" offered it will be something I know they will eat and at least cover the basic nutritional standards I want. It wont be exciting but .

"free range" meal choice for changing out a fruit or veggie to another one will eat as long as it doesn't create more work for me.

examples.. yesterday I made steaks roasted sweet potatoes and corn on the cob green beans.

Margaret doesn't like streak or "weird Topatoes" () or green beans
DH doesn't like sweet potatoes (legit dislike)

Cecilia doesn't like corn....or beans...

I made a peanut butter and banana for Margaret (she ate it with a corn or cob)

DH ate steak beans and corn and didn't choose anything else

Cecilia had the steak and sweet potatos but choose some baby carrots from the fridge instead to go with it.

I do encourage all foods especially new things to be tried but their is not way to gentle force the issue so I don't.

---------- Post added at 04:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:00 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Housekat View Post
My rules:

I don't buy what I don't want them to eat.
My job is to cook the food, theirs is to eat it (or not). That means practically, I put the food on their plate, and they decide if they're going to eat it or not.

They always have hot chocolate and a banana just before bed, so even if they didn't eat their dinner, they won't go super hungry.

We don't do desserts.

If they really really really don't like any aspect of dinner, they can have a pb+h sandwich

No badmouthing the food

Sit at the table for the first ten minutes. Excuse yourself when you're done.
or better this pretty much this...
We do "occasional" deserts but its not an everyday expected or the "reward" for clean plate clubs. (desserts meaning beyond like fruit)
they tend to get a small snack before bed like a yogurt or bannana etc.
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Old 05-22-2015, 08:34 PM   #29
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

She has to take at least one bite of everything, even if she knows she doesn't like it.

I serve very small portions because she's a bird eater, so if I KNOW she likes the food, she does have to eat it. I don't generally have much of an issue with this because when she likes it, she's always hungry...funny how that works lol.

NO dessert if you don't eat your meal.

If she doesn't finish her food and later decides she's hungry, her only option in a piece of wheat bread with butter. Not even toast, just plain bread and butter and a glass of water.

I try hard for snacks to be only fruit, vegetables, or cheese. This doesn't always work out that way but it's the goal lol

She's only allowed to have milk/chocolate milk with a meal. All other times it's water. She's never had pop and I don't buy juice.
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Old 05-22-2015, 09:10 PM   #30
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Default Re: tell me your "food rules" for the kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elyse221 View Post
Out of curiosity, how does this work in a GD family? I'm sure it can be done, but if I told my kids they had to eat one or more bites of everything, there would be no non-punitive way I could enforce that . Maybe it's personality? Or age/maturity?

I do encourage trying everything and I work with my kiddos to make sure their diet is pretty well-rounded.
Honetly I think some kids just try foods. Mine don't unless they are good and ready. Having a try ONE bite rule is totally pointless we encourage and praise when it happens but we no longer force or expect it (cause when I did I had to get down right mean and it still failed 99% of the time).. But I know that their are kids who do simpily taste and then can be 'easily" taught to take more bites.... At least often enough the rule is worth having.

My kids will sit not eating till they pass out
The ONLY way mine will try something they aren't rady for is if I shove it physically down them. and yea that isn't so gentle or even effective if they just gag it back..

Quote:
If she doesn't finish her food and later decides she's hungry, her only option in a piece of wheat bread with butter. Not even toast, just plain bread and butter and a glass of water.
at the bread and water only.. Though funny enough my kids would LOVE LOVE that and gladly skip all meals to just eat buttered bread.. (or even just plain bread and water)
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