Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

All that to say, if I had just done it instead of fretting over it I would have saved myself a lot of grief.

That is a great thing to remember. Sometimes if I am feeling overwhelmed by tasks I just say to myself "This is simple." "This is so easy." Because sometimes we can make the task so big in our minds that it paralyzes us from doing anything. If we change our thinking, "This is simple" then we can at least get started.

It is also a truism that clean clothes that don't get put away right away WON'T get put away. That is sort of one of those disciplines you just have to follow through and do.

It feels like the laundry is done once the clothes have been put into the dryer. But that last step of folding and putting away is a big one.

I'm not really a "messy" (in fact I *waste* way too much time cleaning, just for it to look the same as it did in just an hour or two again).

But one place I'm kind of lazy about is the carpet. DD's juice cups sprinkle more than I ever have time to clean up and it looks just awful!

Originally Posted by GotMyHeartFull

same here, I knew nothing about keeping house when I married. I get so frustrated when i look around and see clutter but sometimes it is overwhelming and i don't even know where to start

me too my upbringing had the effect on my love for cleaning that public school had on my love for learning. we had chores, which was fine, but instead of my parents helping out, they used us as free labor and they'd go do their leisure and make us do all the work so i grew up hating work. i've just re-developed an interest in it (nostolgic for a house like my grandma's) and now i'm having to learn how to "manage" a household rather than do some random chores. it's a lot of stuff to think about - a lot more than i think we get credit for!

I'm in! I think my issue is I was never really taught good housekeeping skills. Growing up our house was always clean but I never saw how it got that way I am a perfectionist so I get frustrated frequently when I can't seem to keep my house looking the way it does in my head!

[GotMyHeartFull]

well, my 3 oldest dc started school today and I just have my 2 yo home with me. I have gotten so much done today. She loves to follow me around all day and do whatever I'm doing, so I am able to get more done and still spend time with her. This is but I had about 8 loads of clean laundry in the laundry room just piled up in the corner I got cheap laundry baskets, one for each of the kids, brought all of it into the living room and tossed the clothes into who's basket it belonged to. Took it up to the rooms and piled it on their dresser to fold later. Now the floor is clear (of clothes at least )
I really need to get my kids doing more stuff. But I need to make sure I am being a good example because I can't expect them to keep up after themselves if I am not keeping stuff clean. Well I'm off to clean some more. My 2 yo is napping so I should mop while I have the chance

[NayneeNoo]

I spent 6 hours cleaning my first floor last Thursday....then on Saturday DH watched DD and let her TRASH the living room. He told me he'd clean it up, but still hasn't. Last night the cats got into mischief and trashed my kitchen (got into the cabinets, pulled out food, scratched open bags of tortellini and batted it all over the floor and cabinets, pulled the covers off the range hood, knocked a glass off the counter and broke it. I JUST CAN'T EVER GET AHEAD!!!!!

[RealLifeMama]

Yikes, I am sorry!
How many cats do you have?
We used to have 2 and would joke about them having cat parties. That is a cat party if I ever have heard of one!
That has got to be super frustrating!!!

[NayneeNoo]

We have two males. I was mean and put them on the third floor with their litter boxes and water for a few hours then shut the door while I cleaned up their mess. I just couldn't handle them at the time.

Ok about the cats. I seriously hate my cats ever since dd was born! They used to be my "babies", but now that I have a real baby, they quickly got demoted to "just cats" status and they totally bug the --it out of me! Man I would be so upset if they trashed my kitchen!

now i'm having to learn how to "manage" a household rather than do some random chores. it's a lot of stuff to think about - a lot more than i think we get credit for!

I'm totally with Katirana on this one. It really is about so much more than just cleaning. Because anybody can clean something once. It is about managing a home. Everyday. It is a learned skill! And to think I ever devalued housework and homemaking as something only "lazy" people did who couldn't get a real job. That was my thinking as an ignorant teenager. Then I lived on my own and then got married and then had my daughter and it's like "Aaaaah!" Keeping it all together takes planning and work. Instead of GOYB parenting, I guess it's GOYB homekeeping. Darnit if I don't have to do it everyday, often throughout the day.

I think my issue is I was never really taught good housekeeping skills. Growing up our house was always clean but I never saw how it got that way

That is kind of interesting to me. I always figured that people who grow up in clean homes, just learn by osmosis or something. It is good that we are all trying to figure this out now so that we can teach our kids how to do it. I want my daughter to be more like her dad and not like me. He has never had a hard time keeping things clean. But he always said what made a real impression on him was the summer he and his sisters and brother lived with their grandmother. She had a very strict routine where the kids had to be up by 7, make the bed, come down to breakfast, go upstairs and get cleaned up, do their housechores, and everything had to be finished by 12. After that they had the rest of the day to do whatever they wanted. To this day, my dh is very efficient at doing his work first, play second.

Originally Posted by jamilyian

I always figured that people who grow up in clean homes, just learn by osmosis or something.

this must have been my mom's philosophy because for the most part my mom was a great housekeeper. she always managed to have something ready for dinner, keep the house neat, and still have time to relax.... and she had 3 kids and 2 cats and 2 dogs in the house.

Originally Posted by jamilyian

It feels like the laundry is done once the clothes have been put into the dryer. But that last step of folding and putting away is a big one.

Soooooo true.

Now I feel like a total loser b/c the only child I have is a 2yo, and I feel like I can't get anything done with him around and still meet his needs for outside time and such. But one of the pps was glad she had "only" the 2yo at home with her now that her kids were in school! I don't have much to complain about, do I???

We used to have 2 dogs and 2 cats...only the 2 cats now, but when we had dogs our big dog would tag team with our big cat...the cat would get on the counter when we were gone and knock food down to the dog, who would rip it open and they would share. Once, they got into a brand new 2 lb. bag of bulk granola I had left out on the counter. There was not a trace of granola left anywhere, and some of the bag was gone...then my dog let loose and pooped granola ALL OVER the kitchen floor. Oh, it was lovely. And when I said something to them, something like, "Do you all have a tag team going or something?" the cat just bumped up against the dog and rubbed, like a cat-dog version of a high-five.

[hey mommy]

Originally Posted by Leah

Now I feel like a total loser b/c the only child I have is a 2yo, and I feel like I can't get anything done with him around and still meet his needs for outside time and such. But one of the pps was glad she had "only" the 2yo at home with her now that her kids were in school! I don't have much to complain about, do I???

Yeah, I feel the same way. Which doesn't help w/the guilt and self-loathing that I really feel about myself about it.

[RealLifeMama]

You know, don't worry about the "only" thing.
I felt the same way when I had just one.
Yes, one is a whole lot easier than two, but when you are in that stage, you are just in it, KWIM? I felt like I have a hard time with 2, I felt like I had a hard time with 1, I felt like I had a hard time with *none*, that is just the way it is.

Tonight, I did all the dishes and swept the floor before bed. I made my entryway presentable today also- swept outside, vacuumed inside, and cleared off the entry desk. I was really, really hoping for some kudos from DH when he got home, because the difference between yesterday and today was staggering, but he said not a word!!

Man, Leah, your pets totally belong in pet food commercials! They are like people!