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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

 
 
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:07 AM   #1
Eowyn
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Lightbulb Light bulb moment

I grew up being spanked as the first resort form of discipline. Often, I would react by getting angry (of course), and throwing a giant fit. I just now, at 30, realized in part why it was never just one spanking.

I didn't react properly. I didn't do what I was supposed to. I was *supposed* to submit and admit the error of my little kid ways. I was supposed to somehow connect the pain I was experiencing with my action and realize that I had done the wrong thing and remember not to do it again. I was supposed to be penitent and sorrowful for my actions.

Except that I hadn't read the book. I didn't know that I was supposed to be sorry for what I'd done. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I just knew that somehow, causing me pain didn't serve to ease the anger or the frustration of the person inflicting it. I did know that it hurt and it made me angry and that my anger and feelings were then directed immediately towards the pain and the person inflicting it.

Spanking interferes with the cause and effect relationship of discipline and consequences because it comes between the erroneous action and the real-world results.
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Can'tTurnLeft (05-26-2012), DaltonsMomma (06-24-2012), duckwithoneleg (05-26-2012), FlyingBlueKiwi (05-26-2012), homesteadmama (05-26-2012), lalaithnil (05-26-2012), Little Forest (05-28-2012), Llee (05-26-2012), melliethepooh (06-23-2012), mwwr (05-26-2012), NewCovenantMama (05-27-2012), OperaDivaMom (06-01-2012), ReadingMommy (05-26-2012), rjy9343 (05-26-2012), Rose5000 (06-02-2012), RubySlippers (06-02-2012), Singingmom (06-23-2012), Tasmanian Saint (05-28-2012), TenderLovingWillow (05-26-2012), The Tickle Momster (05-26-2012), triscuit (05-28-2012)
 

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