What does Pearl actually teach? - Page 6

SortaCrunchy · 02-23-2010, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by relizabeth

I think they support Cocoa Puffs, and being cuckoo for them.

Hermana Linda · 02-23-2010, 05:56 PM

They teach to marry in the Church, but not in the State and never separate or remarry. I'm not at all sure if they teach to divorce (in the eyes of the state) if one is already married by the state, but if they do, they must stay married in the Church.

Taedareth · 02-23-2010, 05:59 PM

I see. Thanks.

Do they teach that men should beat their wives into submission?

keepinghome · 02-23-2010, 06:18 PM

They don't tell husbands to beat their wives but, CTBHHM (the book mentioned earlier) basically says that if you were a good enough wife, your husband wouldn't be beating you (in a read between the lines way). And that leaving an abusive husband isn't always the right answer. I think she gives an example of a wife praying that she would be saved from her husband and "God killed him". And that you can manipulate your husband to get your way with your "sweetness".

Debi does say that threesomes and other dirty things in marriage is sinful and never to consent to that. But that whenever your husband wants sex- you give it to him no matter what.

Hermana Linda · 02-23-2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taedareth

I see. Thanks.

Do they teach that men should beat their wives into submission?

I'm not really up on that book, but I have some links here.

NewLeaf · 02-23-2010, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TuneMyHeart

I think the Pearl kids work with them in their ministry.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taedareth

The point of AP is that we are building strong, healthy attachment with our children so they will become independent, self sufficient individuals.

The attachment practices coupled with the punitive measures of the Pearls fosters an unhealthy attachment where pain, lack of any individuality and complete submission are the only acceptable means by which to keep the relationship.

Their children, no doubt, would be ostracized, disowned and cast out of the family if they were to develop a theology or parenting practice that deviates from that of their parents. Not to even mention the fact that even their salvation would be questioned.

I'm beginning to think of it as Stockholm Syndrome.

Their book on marriage is equally as toxic as their parenting books. I could tell you all kinds of sickening examples she gives in the book and all of her warped theology but it could take forever. The book is that bad. Nevermind her insulting, disrespectful attitude towards her readers and her complete lack of gentleness, love or grace.

I could say a lot about that book. It's GARBAGE.

Wonder Woman · 02-23-2010, 09:29 PM

Go to http://mommypress.com/rebecca/today-...or-himself.htm and look at my latest post detailing in his own words what is ok. As long as the wife's bruises don't last over 2 hours she can't tell the pastor much less the cops.

NewLeaf · 02-23-2010, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonder Woman

Go to http://mommypress.com/rebecca and look at my latest post detailing in his own words what is ok. As long as the wife's bruises don't last over 2 hours she can't tell the pastor much less the cops.

They suck. Period.

Granola_mom · 02-23-2010, 11:27 PM

subbing...good stuff here. Thanks!

Zooey · 02-24-2010, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taedareth

Wow. I hadn't even considered all those aspects. I am still trying to deal with my suppressed anger over my dad's application of physical discipline when I was a kid. But he was much more on the Dobson end of things (not that I believe he ever read a book about parenting

)

To shift the focus a little - what do the Pearls teach on marital relationships? Anyone know the jist of their book, Created to be his Helpmeet?

I've read a lot of it.
I thought I had a strong stomach until I encountered this. Just the way that she writes is so crude that it made me feel physically ill, & I gave it up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taedareth

Someone above said that Pearls say married couples should get divorced and live together instead, so as not to be married under the same government that also allows homosexual marriage. So, do they support or not support divorce?

As far as I can tell, they support whichever they feel like supporting at the time.
Seriously. If they can make a point by saying one thing, fine; if the opposite, they say that.
Somebody on another forum asked me recently what church they belong to, & I said that I honestly think that they have made up their own religion.

flowermama · 02-24-2010, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taedareth

Someone above said that Pearls say married couples should get divorced and live together instead, so as not to be married under the same government that also allows homosexual marriage. So, do they support or not support divorce?

Regarding getting divorced and then living together, I admit I don't understand his views on that, but in an article on his site called "Holy Matrimony" (I will not link to his site) he claims that what he is talking about is not divorce . . . "No, your rejection of the state license will not be a divorce." He says you can "send the state notification of your revocation of your state marriage license" and then "as a couple, draw up a document that you file in your local court house that declares your marriage to have occurred on the date you were married long ago, including city, county, and state, with a brief statement about the Biblical nature of your covenant before God, and then signed by the two of you and witnessed by two friends. It is a retro-marriage covenant—not a license."

eta: I've come to think that he talks using his own language, that sometimes he has such different meanings for words than people would normally mean that it can really be confusing.

---------- Post added at 02:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:52 AM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonder Woman

Go to http://mommypress.com/rebecca and look at my latest post detailing in his own words what is ok. As long as the wife's bruises don't last over 2 hours she can't tell the pastor much less the cops.

That's just awful. Such dangerous advice.

MomtoJGJ · 02-24-2010, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonder Woman

Go to http://mommypress.com/rebecca and look at my latest post detailing in his own words what is ok. As long as the wife's bruises don't last over 2 hours she can't tell the pastor much less the cops.

Is that from CTBHHM? or a different book?

Wonder Woman · 02-24-2010, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MomtoJGJ

Is that from CTBHHM? or a different book?

That's from an article titled "Abusive Husbands" written by Debi Pearl in 1999. The portion quoted on my site (http://mommypress.com/rebecca/today-...or-himself.htm, for when that's no longer the latest post) is the footnote Mr. Pearl wrote. I quoted it verbatim. Let his own words condemn him

(btw, one minor swear word used in a quasi-Biblical sense in my commentary, just an FYI

)

MomtoJGJ · 02-24-2010, 06:45 AM

thanks

jewelmcjem · 02-24-2010, 07:02 AM

Spunky Homeschool does an awesome job dissecting the CTBHHM book in 3 parts. She is a very conservative Christian, I would say even leans toward WOS while still maintaining a healthy relationship in her own marriage. She starts out her posts by saying she likes the heartstring-tying aspect of his parenting teachings, but doesn't go on to discuss parenting there. I don't know what her bottom line is on spanking. But she gets to the crux of the problems with CTBHHM, which is that it sets up the husband to be God in the marriage. He gets to worship God, she gets to worship him. And then she shows even more wild stuff Debbi says about the WIFE's responsibility in sanctifying her husband!

Quote:

God has provided for your husband's complete sanctification and deliverance from temptation through you his wife.

Huh? Wow, and all this time I thought we were sanctified through CHRIST! Anyway, it was a real eye-opener for me!

02-23-2010, 05:56 PM	#77
Hermana Linda Administrator "air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 51,860	Re: What does Pearl actually teach? They teach to marry in the Church, but not in the State and never separate or remarry. I'm not at all sure if they teach to divorce (in the eyes of the state) if one is already married by the state, but if they do, they must stay married in the Church. __________________ My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God

02-23-2010, 05:59 PM	#78
Taedareth Rose Garden The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack! Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 4,895	Re: What does Pearl actually teach? I see. Thanks. Do they teach that men should beat their wives into submission? __________________ Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars

02-23-2010, 06:18 PM	#79
keepinghome Rose Bush Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: the last frontier Posts: 384	Re: What does Pearl actually teach? They don't tell husbands to beat their wives but, CTBHHM (the book mentioned earlier) basically says that if you were a good enough wife, your husband wouldn't be beating you (in a read between the lines way). And that leaving an abusive husband isn't always the right answer. I think she gives an example of a wife praying that she would be saved from her husband and "God killed him". And that you can manipulate your husband to get your way with your "sweetness". Debi does say that threesomes and other dirty things in marriage is sinful and never to consent to that. But that whenever your husband wants sex- you give it to him no matter what. __________________ Beth Mama to Faith born May 2009 and Titus born Dec 2011

02-23-2010, 09:29 PM	#82
Wonder Woman Deactivated Yep. I'm a 3. Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 19,140	Re: What does Pearl actually teach? Go to http://mommypress.com/rebecca/today-...or-himself.htm and look at my latest post detailing in his own words what is ok. As long as the wife's bruises don't last over 2 hours she can't tell the pastor much less the cops. Last edited by Wonder Woman; 02-24-2010 at 06:27 AM.

02-23-2010, 11:27 PM	#84
Granola_mom Rose Trellis Just me :o) Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Phoenix, AZ. Quite possibly the hottest place in the universe, beside the sun of-course.. Posts: 1,895	Re: What does Pearl actually teach? subbing...good stuff here. Thanks! __________________ ~~Tori~~ Wife to my dreamy hunka man. 16yrs!!!!, Momma to my 15yr old athlete Momma to my 10yr old little snuggle bug Momma to my 4 year old little thinker!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ doesn't mean I don't get angry. I just try my best to treat my boys the way I would like to be treated, with love and respect.

02-24-2010, 06:45 AM	#89
MomtoJGJ Deactivated Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 11,787	Re: What does Pearl actually teach? thanks

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