Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Specific Issues > Homeschooling & Unschooling (Support) *Public* [Open--Join Forum to Post]
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Notices

Homeschooling & Unschooling (Support) *Public* [Open--Join Forum to Post] A place for both current homeschoolers/unschoolers and those who are considering homeschooling to find support.
A public forum. A read-only forum unless you join the corresponding usergroup here.

Please Note: Everyone can read this forum, and everyone is welcome to seek and offer homeschooling/unschooling support in this forum, but to post you must join the corresponding usergroup.


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-31-2017, 06:06 AM   #1
NovelMama
Rose Garden
 
Family portrait, by AJ
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Castle Rock, Colorado
Posts: 8,768
NovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond reputeNovelMama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Prioritizing relationship

In a thread I posted last year about some struggles we were having with AJ, someone asked if I prioritize relationships or ideals. I realized I prioritize ideals. I want to shift that but I seriously have no idea how to balance the two. (Suuuuuuper black and white thinker over here, LOL). Then recently I read a post in a homeschooling group on Facebook where someone was giving advice to a new homeschooler, and her first point was to prioritize relationship, and I suddenly realized that I really and truly have no idea what that mean. And it SOUNDS like an important thing and that SOUNDS like wise advise, and I'm thinking as a homeschool coach I should probably be giving the same advice, LOL, but I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE. Kinda feeling like an emotionless robot over her at the moment because this concept is so foreign and hard for me to understand.

So...what does it mean to you to prioritize relationship in your homeschooling?
__________________
Your body is a temple - treat it like one!
Check out my It Works health and wellness products.

Alison
wife to Daniel
mother to AJ (12/28/05) and PJ (03/19/08)
author of books for women and children:
Worlds Collide, Violette Between, The Weight of Shadows, Reinventing Rachel,
The Heart of Memory, Composing Amelia, That's Where God Is, That's When I Talk To God
NovelMama is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to NovelMama For This Useful Post:
Singingmom (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 06:27 AM   #2
Singingmom
Administrator
 
Oh, sing to the Lord a new song!
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 22,819
Singingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond reputeSingingmom has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and let the lesson goal for the day slip away while I take a walk with a grumpy child.

Making time for fun and relaxation with the kids, whatever that looks like for them...for me that takes a conscious letting go of something else since there isn't usually time in the day to hit every academic goal and relax together. This might not happen every day, but I try to keep it on my radar.

Making accommodations when something is stressful for them, like reading it aloud to them or letting them use a calculator...valuing their state of mind above the academic.

Sally Clarkson has a lot to say about relationship. And there's a new book you might like called Teaching From Rest. I've only skimmed it, but I think you'll find a focus on relationship.

I want to come back to this when I have more time. This is a favorite topic of mine.
__________________
Kelly
Wife to my sweetheart for 23 years
Grateful mom to 2 young men, ages 20 & 18 and one dancing girl, age 13
When I joined GCM they were 8,6, and 1.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Singingmom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Singingmom For This Useful Post:
bananacake (05-31-2017), CelticJourney (05-31-2017), everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mamacat (05-31-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Pragmatist (05-31-2017), PrincessAnika (05-31-2017), Quiteria (06-01-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 07:45 AM   #3
bananacake
Rose Garden
 
I Am A BananaCake
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 22,668
bananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Have you read Teaching from Rest? I'll admit I haven't finished it
__________________
Rev. BK
Married for 14 years
Homeschooling 2 boys, 7 1/2 & 9 3/4
Baby girl, 2 1/2
Pebble baby 01/09
"Almost mom" to a young man we raised from his teenage years - he's 29 now & engaged

Author, Singer/Songwriter, Lover of Jesus, 2XVBAC-er
GFDFSF, and I have lots of recipes after 9 1/2 years of practice
bananacake is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to bananacake For This Useful Post:
NovelMama (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 08:09 AM   #4
Aerynne
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 21,019
Aerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond reputeAerynne has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

I think it means a random day off or park trip, a day making a double recipe of cookies and calling it math, watching a movie together or getting lost in a book and reading the whole thing, a backyard game of soccer, etc. To me it's about scrapping the to-do list when you need to. But when I do this it's more likely to be after tackling something and not instead of it- ie I don't let them give up on that fraction page halfway through when it's hard- we get through it together and then after we're done we do something fun and scrap the rest, or the next day we do something fun for math. I don't want to teach them to give up when it's hard. It might look like "let's go have a snack together and read a book and then come back and do this in 20 minutes", though.
__________________
Erin

born of water and of the Spirit 4/96
married 5/02
Mama to:
B '04
Nugs '07
Kins born at home '10
Bunny born at home Dec '12

Excitedly expecting "Baby Boo" July 2017
Aerynne is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Aerynne For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), PrincessAnika (05-31-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 08:56 AM   #5
The Tickle Momster
Rose Garden
 
previously mlrowley
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 14,950
The Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

For me, it means choosing not to fight with them about school work. So, if math is challenging and bringing tears, we put it away for the day. Or, if a curriculum really isn't working, taking time with the student to look at other options.

I am working through how to do it with an older student who really needs to learn to write. It is hard for him. I believe it is mostly a mental block. So, I'm trying to find ways to make it happen w/o him hating me.

Summed up, I would say, don't let school lessons come between you and your child.
__________________
Michelle

wife to Tom ('95)
Momma to Sweet Pea 15
and Dude 14
Wee 11
'07
Munchkin 8
Save
The Tickle Momster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to The Tickle Momster For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mamacat (05-31-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Reva (06-02-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017), tazmom (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 09:23 AM   #6
mamacat
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 24,985
mamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Michelle OT here but some people just really have a hard time with expressing and learning and writing. If hey can narrate or do oral presentations and learn about how to writ essays and things it can help
__________________
~Catherine~

Mama to 5:

C
W
C
J
S
And Grandma to 3:

A ,K and baby C
mamacat is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mamacat For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (06-14-2017), The Tickle Momster (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 09:25 AM   #7
tazmom
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,715
tazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond reputetazmom has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Tickle Momster View Post
For me, it means choosing not to fight with them about school work. So, if math is challenging and bringing tears, we put it away for the day. Or, if a curriculum really isn't working, taking time with the student to look at other options.

I am working through how to do it with an older student who really needs to learn to write. It is hard for him. I believe it is mostly a mental block. So, I'm trying to find ways to make it happen w/o him hating me.

Summed up, I would say, don't let school lessons come between you and your child.
Pretty much this. How it looks varies by child, from the child who I outsource language arts for to the child who needs to be told to its okay to not get everything done.

It also means that I spend a lot of time being teacher, coach, chauffeur, employee, employer, etc so I need to be intentional about making time to be fun Mommy. Lately life has been showing me that when everyone gets really crabby, resistant, and fighting it means we need to take a day to get out and have some family fun.
__________________
Michelle
Bearer of the Sceptre of Sympathetic Strength

Wife to the car guy for 19 years
Mom to my girls
dd1 - Thirteen
dd2 - Ten
dd3 - Eight
tazmom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to tazmom For This Useful Post:
bananacake (05-31-2017), everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mamacat (05-31-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Quiteria (06-01-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017), The Tickle Momster (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 09:55 AM   #8
mamacat
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 24,985
mamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond reputemamacat has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

People have said it well and I have had a hard time with that too.I guess slowing down from checking off boxes mode to being more tuned into this isnt working lets put it aside and try again later and connect
__________________
~Catherine~

Mama to 5:

C
W
C
J
S
And Grandma to 3:

A ,K and baby C
mamacat is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to mamacat For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 10:04 AM   #9
Lena O.
Rosebud
 
"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." - Helen Keller
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Kansas
Posts: 41
Lena O. is a jewel in the roughLena O. is a jewel in the roughLena O. is a jewel in the roughLena O. is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Tickle Momster View Post
don't let school lessons come between you and your child.
This. I am always mom first and teacher second.
Lena O. is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Lena O. For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017), The Tickle Momster (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 10:07 AM   #10
bananacake
Rose Garden
 
I Am A BananaCake
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 22,668
bananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond reputebananacake has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Andy Stanley has a bunch of phrases, some inherited from his dad, that I thought of. Relationship over reputation. Connection before correction.

In this case, I'd modify it to relationship over rules/rigid thinking about what you expect to happen every day. Asking yourself, "Is my drive to do a certain amount/accomplish a certain goal today getting in the way of connecting with my daughter/letting her know I love her and that she is more important than my drive to achieve/B&W thinking?"
__________________
Rev. BK
Married for 14 years
Homeschooling 2 boys, 7 1/2 & 9 3/4
Baby girl, 2 1/2
Pebble baby 01/09
"Almost mom" to a young man we raised from his teenage years - he's 29 now & engaged

Author, Singer/Songwriter, Lover of Jesus, 2XVBAC-er
GFDFSF, and I have lots of recipes after 9 1/2 years of practice
bananacake is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to bananacake For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (06-14-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017), The Tickle Momster (05-31-2017), WanderingJuniper (06-01-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 10:13 AM   #11
ECingMama
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 8,885
ECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond reputeECingMama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

For me, it has started to mean not doing school with both kids at the same time. They are SO different.

The 7 year old needs structure and an obvious start and finish.

The nearly 10 year old child needs fun and different and all.stinking.day and evening and into night to finish her stuff. But I LOVE our evenings of silent reading. We sit together and snuggle and read.

It's not public school from 7:30-3 (hours around here). Then homework.

It's real life.
__________________


ENFp DYT Type 4/1 married to ISFJ DYT Type 2/?
Wife who is thankful to be in love....15 years
Homeschooling Mom of two....9.5 DD and 6.5 DS
TTC #3 for 4 years 8/2015 11/2015 9/2016
I feel blessed when I pray for you. Thankful for this community!
ECingMama is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to ECingMama For This Useful Post:
bananacake (05-31-2017), mommychem (05-31-2017), NovelMama (05-31-2017), Pragmatist (05-31-2017), Quiteria (06-01-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017), The Tickle Momster (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 10:18 AM   #12
The Tickle Momster
Rose Garden
 
previously mlrowley
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 14,950
The Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat View Post
Michelle OT here but some people just really have a hard time with expressing and learning and writing. If hey can narrate or do oral presentations and learn about how to writ essays and things it can help
Thanks. I have tried everything I can think of to help him along. He digs in his heels. When he finally does the work, it is reasonably well done. He doesn't see the point and so doesn't want to work at it. It's a long story and I probably ought to spin.
__________________
Michelle

wife to Tom ('95)
Momma to Sweet Pea 15
and Dude 14
Wee 11
'07
Munchkin 8
Save
The Tickle Momster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The Tickle Momster For This Useful Post:
bananacake (05-31-2017), Quiteria (06-01-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 04:26 PM   #13
mommychem
Rose Garden
I support GCM!
 
Butterfly on my face :)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 5,771
mommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond reputemommychem has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

My oldest is 8 so I've only been doing "school" a little while. For me, it has meant recognizing that my children really are learning all the time and that there are many ways to get boxes checked off. They may have many teachers, coaches, etc. in life, but I'm their one and only mom. That comes first. It took more than two years, off and on, for my oldest and I to finish the reading program I chose whereas it took my second DD about five months to do the same program. I had to keep stopping with my first to reconnect and check in. She and I are so different and we learn differently. She needs connection first or she will have a mental block. But once she feels the connection, she learns quickly. She is also an advanced artist (drawing) for her age which is not my gift at all. So I allow her ample time to do that instead of pushing too hard on the things I'd rather do. I see this as helping her manage her own mental health as well.
__________________
SHERRI
Married 2003
Mommy "the Chemist"
01/09, 01/11, 10/13, 10/15
3 VBACs
mommychem is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mommychem For This Useful Post:
bananacake (05-31-2017), Singingmom (05-31-2017)
Old 05-31-2017, 06:11 PM   #14
knitlove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Vermont
Posts: 11,769
knitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond reputeknitlove has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Prioritizing relationship

I need to make this more of a priority next year.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk
__________________
Wife to a wonderful DH for 15 years.
Momma to my 29 weeker Early Bird who is seven
and my little Wiggle Worm born 33 weeks who is three.
knitlove is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:38 AM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2014 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.