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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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01-09-2012, 12:33 PM | #16 | |
Rose Garden
A sign of God's love...
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: in between the toys and laundry..
Posts: 8,111
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
Quote:
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~~~C~~~ISF/TJ My fam: dh (11 yrs) Freckles (10) cleft lip/alveolar ridge Beansie (8 yrs) Trooper (toddling around) The Boo and The Boy too Daytime "second mother" to Cindy Lou Hoo and Petunia too Currently DF and WF for trooper
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01-09-2012, 12:42 PM | #17 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,321
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
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01-09-2012, 12:54 PM | #18 |
Rose Bouquet
I really do love my kiddos!
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Spokane Valley, Wa
Posts: 799
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
read part of the article. Gross! And what the heck is "Selfish Love"?
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I have so far to go! |
01-09-2012, 01:28 PM | #19 | |
Rosebud
Zookeeper mama
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 51
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
Thank you Elizabeth!
I am very grateful to have found this forum! It has been extremely helpful and encouraging. ---------- Post added at 03:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:10 PM ---------- Quote:
And not just her quote makes me sick, but also the fact that I was in her home once and saw first hand what she did. I will spare the details, but I grabbed my son and left ASAP. I still regret not calling CPS. I can't get over it, but I have been compelled to get involved in getting the word out about what people are doing in the name of Jesus. In that booklet one of the most disturbing events mentioned was getting a baby/toddler up in the middle of the night to spank/beat him because they forgot that he was naughty the day before and didn't obey God by disciplining him. And the booklet taught that children should be spanked every time they forget something too. |
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01-09-2012, 02:00 PM | #20 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,542
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
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I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised when this model of punitive parenting is pushed so often in churches. When I think about it, the good behavior=reward, bad behavior=punishment thing is so foundational to being human. It's a hard concept to give up, because it's something by which we can measure ourselves.
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Darcy married to my Photographic Genius (1/00) Mom to: Prima, Secunda, Tertia, and Quarta Youth and Beauty are fleeting, but the ability to bake a great chocolate cake lasts forever! |
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01-09-2012, 02:16 PM | #21 | |
Rose Blossom
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 223
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
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I also go to a church named Grace Baptist Church that is reformed baptist (and yes, the woman that posted the link goes to a reformed baptist church, too, as do all of our mutual friends *sigh*) and it just frustrates me to no end when I hear all about grace, grace, grace, but when we talk about our children? Well, no mercy can be shown because "God commands us to use the rod."
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...Hilary... mommy to Charlotte (12/08) Clara (11/10) Benjamin (12/12) Luke (7/15) |
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01-09-2012, 05:36 PM | #22 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,542
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
I think it's also a bit of a survival mechanism - to prove that I'm better than the next guy so that I can claw my way to the top to get the prize - survival of the fittest and all.
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Darcy married to my Photographic Genius (1/00) Mom to: Prima, Secunda, Tertia, and Quarta Youth and Beauty are fleeting, but the ability to bake a great chocolate cake lasts forever! |
01-09-2012, 06:53 PM | #23 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,504
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
A few years ago, I had to stand up to the (pretty new) assistant pastor at my church who was considering allowing SACH to be studied in the parenting class (he wasn't an advocate of it, but someone else who was wanted it to be studied). One point I made was that our parenting study was called 'Grace at Home,' and I didn't see how SACH could possibly be studied then as it shows children no grace. His response..."well, that's just the title of the study..." (implication, we don't really mean it...)
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Wife to my wonderful Beloved (2002) / Mom to The Mathematician - making progress living with ASD, ADHD/SPD/anxiety and depression (2004) and precious Taylor taken from us too soon (2009). Go Team Lioness!!! |
01-09-2012, 07:46 PM | #24 | |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,857
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
Quote:
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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01-09-2012, 08:00 PM | #25 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 279
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
Surprisingly, Dobson *does* mention this book in one of his books (The Strong Willed Child or Dare to Discipline I believe) and uses the example mentioned above about waking the child in the middle of the night. Dobson was very negative on this book and adamant that these authors were way over the top. This is what convinced *me* to not get this book when offered it by a church member I respected a few years later. Thank goodness!
IN Christ, Joy |
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01-09-2012, 08:49 PM | #26 | |
Rosebud
Zookeeper mama
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 51
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
Quote:
I just don't comprehend her logic at all- my kids and I forget stuff all the time- that's just being human! Crazy!
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Tammy wife of 16 years to my Pooky mom to 6 awesome boys: Barney the Dinosaur- 17yrs Cookie Monster- 16yrs Detroit Tiger- 16yrs Panda Bear- 13yrs Dr. Doolittle- 11yrs Sparky- 10yrs Micah 6:8 |
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01-09-2012, 09:24 PM | #27 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Into the sky, all the way out.
Posts: 7,377
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
I've read that before -- and I was so mad I was spitting nails afterward.
The author also very clearly states that Proverbs 22:6 is a promise.
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Hi! I'm Robin married 13 years to my best friend mama to two ~ 9 & 6 years old "Don't they teach recreational maths anymore?"
~The Doctor |
01-11-2012, 07:00 AM | #28 |
Deactivated
Peace be with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: the sweet sunny south
Posts: 15,346
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
We had been excited to visit a particular church, and went out of our way on our vacation to be able to do so. When I walked into the sanctuary I had a sense of heaviness, though. The men were hale and hearty, but the women and children...were depressed and oppressed.
Children sat in service very quietly but when a toddler near us began to fuss the tiniest bit, her fuss turned to a sound of quiet fear as her father carried her out of the sanctuary. My heart sank and my stomach turned. As we left I saw that pamphlet on a table in the foyer and knew that my instincts about what was going on in that room were correct. |
01-11-2012, 07:02 AM | #29 |
Rose Trellis
I live a wonderfully chaotic life!
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 1,502
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
I can not even believe this happens.......I swatted my daughters hand and sobbed right along with her, I apologized, but I still felt like such a failure I can not even fathom how people can think that this is what God wants. How could that even come to mind.....Do these mothers get beat by their husbands too???
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Megan Starting a new chapter! Sofia (01) Madeline(04) Quin(08) <>< <>< <>< Imaginations Creations You will win sweet mamma!!! facebook me Trimming the fat 4 life
formerly known as mammaof3 |
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01-12-2012, 02:59 AM | #30 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
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Re: "Under Loving Command"
I ahave avoided reading it for that reason.....I am certain I have read it before, & it is so horrible.
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"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss |
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