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Old 11-04-2013, 07:01 PM   #1
megbar548
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Default She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

Ok, so tonight we took the girls (almost 4 1/2 and almost 3) out to dinner and I wanted to share what our server said to us.

The place we went was not super fancy, but a sit down restaurant, so a step up from the more laidback eating out atmosphere they're used to (Panera, CFA, that level of place). It had been a while since we'd been able to do this with them and it will likely be the last time for a while, so we were making a BIG deal out of it. DH had been working weekends for almost 2 months, and he wanted to take us all out on a date b/c of all the lost daddy/hubby time over the last few weeks.

We really wanted to set everybody up to enjoy it- and to not ruin someone else's meal with toddler crazy. So we talked in the car quite a bit about what is appropriate fancy restaurant behavior and what's not. We talked about what to expect, the order of how things would go (like how much waiting there is, and when it happens), and what the other people in the restaurant are there for and how to be kind to everyone else eating there by behaving ourselves.

This paid off BIG TIME. Thankfully, there was no wait for a table (yay monday dates!!), and our server wasn't overly busy. So we quickly ordered water and an appetizer while we decided on what to order. Water gets there, and we have upset #1- DD1 takes a sip and looks absolutely crestfallen and sad. She sighs "oooh." and we ask what's wrong. Apparently, when our server asked if we wanted lemon in our water, that made DD1 think we were getting *lemonade*. So water was a disappointment. We dealt with it calmly by explaining that restaurants sometimes put a piece of a lemon in your water glass and that's what she'd been asking about. DD1 was satisfied with the explanation and moved on.

So that's the first thing she commented on- that she was really pleased to hear how we'd explained it to DD1, and she was encouraged to hear that approach- because her mom would've never explained it but would've just said "shut up and drink your water."

There were a few more things like that through the night, just normal routine stuff for us, nothing out of the ordinary. Things like a child wanting her chicken and peppers separated, not knowing how to get them off the skewer, a dropped lime wedge that very nearly resulted in weeping and gnashing of teeth. Seriously, it was a tame night as far as toddler eating is concerned. We were all happy, and having a good time. On the whole, the novelty of going out and of the food helped the girls to be entertained enough that there wasn't a whole lot of friction or difficulty even with the stricter than normal (for them) behavior rules.

So the end of the night comes, and as we're boxing up our leftovers our server is cleaning the table next to ours, and the girls are asking questions about her equipments (bucket of sanitizer and small trash can. apparently, these things are FASCINATING and all toddlers want some. ). I'm explaining to the girls that part of a server's job sometimes is to clean up the table after the people eating have left. And that's why we are careful to not make or leave a big mess at the table- that's why mommy and daddy always stack our dishes and make sure to keep the trash and utensils placed on separate plates. Because it's kind to the workers there and makes their job easier after they've just made our night so much easier by cooking for us.

At that point, our server looks at us and says something about how THAT'S the best advice she's heard all night. Then she asks if I work with children. I told her, yes and no- I work with *these* children, I'm a SAHM. She was really surprised and goes on to talk about how she had been talking to the guys in the kitchen about us because she was so impressed by how we were dealing with our kids and how well behaved they were. That there had been another family in earlier who had made NO effort to supervise or care for their children while they were there- their kids had literally run into the kitchen and the parents didn't even care. And that she was so glad to see parents engaging their kids the way we were and teaching them how to behave considerately to the others in the restaurant, and just having a good night out with them. That it was really refreshing and a really great thing to see.

And that's when I

I think that conversation is going to be what my patience feeds on for the next YEAR.

Gentle discipline WORKS, people. And other people notice.
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:16 PM   #2
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what a fabulous story! Good job mama!

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Old 11-04-2013, 07:25 PM   #3
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!


Congrats on a successful night! It is so affirmming when others do notice.

Maybe lots of GD seeds were planted too!
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:30 PM   #4
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I needed to hear this.
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:55 PM   #5
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

great story
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Old 11-04-2013, 08:56 PM   #6
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

What an inspiring story.
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Old 11-05-2013, 07:14 AM   #7
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

What a great experience for everyone. Good job!
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Old 11-06-2013, 09:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

That is awesome, and a great testimony to your gentle and engaged parenting! Hopefully, she will remember what she saw if she ever has kids of her own.
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Old 11-06-2013, 09:55 PM   #9
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What an encouraging story! You must blog about it!

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Old 11-25-2013, 03:53 PM   #10
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

That is awesome! Thank you for sharing your story. I have been told by strangers on numerous occasions that my boys (8, 6, and 3) are so well-behaved! They are not perfect but they usually listen well to my calmly voiced instructions.
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Old 11-26-2013, 10:11 PM   #11
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

how touching.
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Old 11-27-2013, 11:36 AM   #12
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

Way to go you!!!!
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Old 11-27-2013, 03:23 PM   #13
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

Great job, mama! We've found it made a huge difference to talk with our kids about what's expected, what will happen etc. for new social situations. I'm glad you're feeling so encouraged!
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Old 11-27-2013, 04:45 PM   #14
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Old 11-27-2013, 06:00 PM   #15
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Default Re: She noticed! And commented! YAY FEEDBACK!!!

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