Talk to me about your birthday.

[JJsMom]

So, how did it go?

[Domina]

My birthdays are usually much like any other day, except we get takeout and wine and after Sumo's in bed.

Oh, wait. So it's exactly like every other day.

Then on the weekend before or after, we get together with our families for a nice meal and some presents, etc.

If I wanted something different, I'd tell my DH. He's an Acts of Service guy, so he'd make it happen if he knew I wanted it.

[allisonintx]

I expect.......nothing.

[Sparrow]

We see my parents at one point, my mom makes me a dinner that is one of my favorites. Her LL is gifts, so I get exactly what I want.

DH lets me sleep in if it's a weekend. We go out for dinner. He gets me what I'd like, normally. If he's working, I do fun stuff that the kids like. We go for mall fr for lunch, and I et whatever I want, no matter how processed or fatty

[PaperMomma]

After a big, immature blowup on both our parts, we talked it out. Apparently in his family, birthdays were just like any other day until the planned party or birthday activity. In my family, it was more of an entire day kind of thing where we'd get to do whatever we wanted all day long. So he said that yeah, he didn't realize what I was expecting. (Although, I did point out that he should be helping me with the morning routines even on a regular day, not leaving that all for me to do while he hangs out on the couch. He said that he needed me to tell him what needed to be done. I think it's pretty obvious(breakfast, clearing/washing dishes, making beds, dressing kids), but ok, I can verbally ask for his help.) And that he'd give me a day off for Mother's Day. Totally holding him to that one!!! The night out he planned was wonderful- we went to see a broadway show(in our city, of course) with our very best friends. We all had a blast!!!



You'd think we'd have worked this issue out already after almost 7 years of marriage?

[PeacefulConviction]

ETA:
I'm so glad you worked everything out

I've started to be really clear about what I would like my birth day to look like. I noticed that the older I got the harder it became for my family to "know" me and what I would prefer, ending with big feelings from my side. It only lead me to feel less important and a bit shameful that I was sad for not getting what I would like on my birth day. I also started to notice that I had the gift of giving so for me it was easier to make/plan a "special day"/birthday for my loved ones and harder for them because they were gifted in other areas. With that in mind I started to tactfully express to them how I would like my birth day to be celebrated and if they tell me to and or if its fitting I will tell them how or were when planing etc.

So last year was great! we had a family outing at a museum,a butterfly garden and then a perfect family dinner at a fish restaurant. If possible I try to choose places that everyone will enjoy and would like to visit. If they're not offended I try to help as much as I can with planning.