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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 07-29-2010, 07:22 AM   #16
jenn3514
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

I was going to say that ime, the UMC has been a fan of not spanking. Ours does encourage use of time outs, grounding and such, but it's a start.

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Originally Posted by Beth1231 View Post
The emphasis on grace is dominant,but the application to children has not stretched to publicly denounce punitive parenting.
I love how the pastor soothes the little ones from the pulpit or makes a little joke so the parent is not as embarrassed.
A/G is Assembly of God,a Pentecostal denom.
I think that unless there is an official stance- this is going to vary church by church (not just with AoG) In this area- the AoG churches love Pearl, Ezzo, and Tripp.It was the first time I ever heard of them.
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:32 AM   #17
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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Originally Posted by jenn3514 View Post
I was going to say that ime, the UMC has been a fan of not spanking. Ours does encourage use of time outs, grounding and such, but it's a start.



I think that unless there is an official stance- this is going to vary church by church (not just with AoG) In this area- the AoG churches love Pearl, Ezzo, and Tripp.It was the first time I ever heard of them.
Yes the one we attended was very into pearl ezzo tripp and spanking -shaming
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Old 07-31-2010, 07:27 AM   #18
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

Holy Moly, I had no idea that the AOG churches followed Pearl, Ezzo, and Tripp. YUCK!!!
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Old 07-31-2010, 07:58 AM   #19
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

See it does vary from pastor to pastor - church to church.Our AoG here would NEVER have and support those kinds of classes.Pastor very young and he & his wife have 6 kids and are pretty AP minded and grace based
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Old 08-03-2010, 04:14 AM   #20
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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Originally Posted by Punkie View Post
The United Methodist Church has taken a stance against corporal punishment. They are the only protestants that I know with that kind if stance. It is not a perfect statement, but a big step in the right direction:
http://www.umc-gbcs.org/site/apps/nl...243&ct=8534005
http://www.nospank.net/swan.htm

Several Catholic churches have made a similar statement
That alone makes me want to change churches...
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Old 08-03-2010, 06:42 AM   #21
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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I our experience the Eastern Orthodox church has been very graceful towards children. I also really like that there is no nursery, and all the little old ladies smile when my kids act like children. :melt
And when I read On the Upbringing of Children by Elder Porphyrios... Awesome, awesome.
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Old 08-03-2010, 06:52 AM   #22
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting


I think we might try Lutheran churches. We have been very unhappy at our SBC. no grace there AT ALL.
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Old 08-03-2010, 08:51 AM   #23
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

We go to the Church of Christ, and they preach grace and forgiveness and love, but apparently only for adults. The kids have very nice sunday school classes and bible hour classes, but I've been very nervous about leaving my children in the care of people who think it's okay to hit children. Not that I think they would, but it's just that mindset, you know? I haven't been to church in over 2 months. Lately because I've been sick, but mostly because I just don't know if I even want to go to this church anymore. Thankfully they don't teach Pearl, but they do teach Dobson. I have also talked to several members and they are all pro spanking. It just makes me very uneasy. And there is NO way my husband would ever go to a different church. So we're kinda stuck there
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Old 08-05-2010, 08:54 AM   #24
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

We're Anglican (Episcopalian). My favorite homily/sermon a couple of years ago started off with the definition of discipline - that it means to disciple, or to teach, not punish. Our childrens' Sunday Paper has a note to parents on the back on how to talk about that week's Gospel Lesson and if it's about discipline, or behavior, it supports GBD. I love my church.
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:19 PM   #25
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Calidad View Post
And when I read On the Upbringing of Children by Elder Porphyrios... Awesome, awesome.
I love this article and it has definitely kept me very humble. Definitely a plank and splinter issue for me. I love being Eastern Catholic.
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Old 08-30-2010, 12:23 AM   #26
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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Originally Posted by oneblessedmama06 View Post
We go to the Church of Christ, and they preach grace and forgiveness and love, but apparently only for adults. The kids have very nice sunday school classes and bible hour classes, but I've been very nervous about leaving my children in the care of people who think it's okay to hit children. Not that I think they would, but it's just that mindset, you know? I haven't been to church in over 2 months. Lately because I've been sick, but mostly because I just don't know if I even want to go to this church anymore. Thankfully they don't teach Pearl, but they do teach Dobson. I have also talked to several members and they are all pro spanking. It just makes me very uneasy. And there is NO way my husband would ever go to a different church. So we're kinda stuck there
Oh man, I feel the same way as the bolded, except that we attend an NABC. We have a mom at our church who passes out TTUAC like it's candy AND the pastor and his wife use it. But DH absolutely would not entertain a discussion of us changing churches. I love everything about our church except that the Pearls seem to be infiltrating it.
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:56 AM   #27
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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Grace-based parenting fits in *perfectly* with Lutheran doctrine - it's actually how I got my dh on board with GBD in the first place. He went from mainstream punitive to GBD through discussions of the underlying theology, and is just as against punitive Christian teachers as I am (they invariably distort the Gospel in their attempts to justify their position).

But, alas, while GBD is a great practical outworking of Lutheran theology - and certainly Lutheran pastors aren't preaching "Thou shalt spank" sermons - my experience as a life-long Lutheran (LCMS) is that we largely match the larger culture wrt to most culture-driven beliefs/traits (as opposed to having a deliberate counter-culture). And that, ime, has meant mainstream punitive, along with a general sense of approval of Dobson , which largely reflects the larger culture of the places in which I've lived. There seems to be this huge disconnect, where Lutherans preach grace so very, very well, but then just adopt the default Christian and/or conservative method of discipline, and *never* *ever* realize that the latter contradicts the former .

However, the grace-filled Lutheran theology has, ime, moderated greatly the actual practice of child-rearing. To hear my parents talk, they are straight up adversarial Dobson fans. But they actually pretty much GBD'd us . While I am in the minority at my church with GBD, no one looks down on me for it, and everyone agrees (to my face, at least) that it is a legitimate approach, even if they don't believe it to be the best approach, and I rarely see examples of punitive parenting at church, whatever their stated philosophy.

This has really been my experience too. Growing up in the LCMS, my family's church was very pro-Dobson. But our current congregation just finished a Grace-Based Parenting class and is starting a new series from Kevin Leman. From what I could find of him here, he's at least on the decent list. This is a very large LCMS congregation with a lot of people with child-development backgrounds. I think that might make a difference.
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Old 08-30-2010, 03:38 PM   #28
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

You will find very punitive parents everywhere.....
However, the UMC has put it on the record that we are NOT in favor of corporal punishment.
This means, for one thing, that the Pearls' books are NOT welcome in our church library. (Of course, the fact that [ahem, cough, cough] this woman named [ahem, cough, cough] Zooey is the librarian also tends to keep their poison out of members' hands.
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