What can I do to handle him?

[mamaBear]

Aaron (3.75) wants to watch TV, or play computer. I've said NO, not til 4:00. He is screaming, yelling, calling me freaky Mommy. He did a wind up and slapped my back pretty hard, it stung. I picked him up and told him "you hit, you sit." Now, he won't sit. He's just angry because I've said no to TV.

He's been fed, so I'm not seeing this as a blood sugar issue....

What do you mamas do when they won't sit? He's just got up and laughed at me "haha, I'm not sitting".

Should I stay with him? How long are they supposed to sit?

[AmyDoll]

The point of sitting is to help him calm down. So yes you should sit with him & maybe try helping him take some deep breaths? Or reflect his feelings, "You are upset that there's no tv till 4. You are so angry you want to HIT. You hit momma. Hitting people hurts. You may hit a pillow."
Other things that are good - jumping on a little trampoline, scribbling an ANGRY picture, throwing bean bags.

[Rabbit]

"You hit, you sit" isn't supposed to be a punitive consequence. It's a reminder only to the momma that the hitter is the sitter, and so that the one who got hit gets attention first. If you don't have a compliant sitter, then "you hit you sit" may come out all wrong.

I have a three year old who cannot cope with "yes, later" or "no, not right now." It fills him up with angst and rage. The answer is either a firm and immediate and permanent "Yes!" or "No!"

[mamaBear]

Originally Posted by AmyDoll

Other things that are good - jumping on a little trampoline, scribbling an ANGRY picture, throwing bean bags.

thanks, these are good tools

---------- Post added at 03:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:27 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Rabbit

"You hit, you sit" isn't supposed to be a punitive consequence. It's a reminder only to the momma that the hitter is the sitter, and so that the one who got hit gets attention first. If you don't have a compliant sitter, then "you hit you sit" may come out all wrong.

I didn't see it like this.

For me it wasn't trying to make him pay for what he did. For me, it was putting some distance between us. Putting him in his room just results in the throwing of toys, and to be honest I just can't cope with that today.

[Living My Dream]

Rabbit I never thought about you hit you sit as that before! I havent used that one yet - hitting not really an issue here at present.

Mamabee you have had some good advice.

[Rabbit]

It's only a problem if your hitter gets sassy or freaks out when asked to sit. If they'll sit down and stay out of the way while you deal with the hit one, then FABULOUS! That's perfect.

You just don't want your attention to go to forcing the hitter to sit. Sitting isn't the real point. I have to deal with a hitter who cannot be easily separated from rest of us without heaps more trauma. If I focused on making him sit when he's already ramped up enough to hit somebody, it would an enormous ordeal more traumatic than the hitting. Sitting just isn't the point or goal.

Everybody calms down however best they get calm, and that is very individual in this house. Then we make amends, and in moments that have no major emotion, we talk about how best to deal with the frustrations that lead to the hitting in the first place.