[DolphinMemae]

It's time to write the conclusion to Gideon's story. The conflict between my beloved and me continued to escalate until I could take no more. I very tearfully poured my heart out to him, insisting that I could take no more. He listened and then walked away. The next day I had a counseling appointment. My counselor was practically dancing around the room in ecstatic joy over the fact that I had gotten seriously angry at someone I dearly loved without blaming myself or resulting in self-harm. When Beloved came home that evening he said he was ready to proceed with euthanizing Gideon. I made the appointment with the vet and told children what was happening and when so they could come and be with us and say good-bye to Gideon if they wanted to. Two of my children opted to be there. Gideon was in rare form - more perky and alert than he had been in quite a while. It was good to see this from him - like he was happily saying farewell to us. When it was over we buried him in the back yard.

One of the things I talked about with Gideon (at the suggestion of both my counselor and the vet) about was I promised him that I would get another dog quickly so that Gideon could know I would be taken care of after he was gone. It became very important to me to fulfill that promise. We adopted a Chiweenie (Chihuahua and dachshund) 3 month old puppy. He is enrolled in puppy kindergarten and is registered as an emotional support dog, so I can take him with me in public places. His name is Tobi, and he is an adorable little thing. He is predominantly white with light tan ears, various sized splotches of tan all over his back, one perfectly round dot on the top of his head, and lots of freckles spattered all over his face and feet. You can even see the speckles under his white coat all over his body.

It's very strange having a baby in the house again; but I think Gideon would be pleased with Tobi. We still miss Gideon and grieve the loss of him, but in my heart of hearts I believe we did the right thing.