I want to suggest reading Ross Greene's The Explosive Child. This part reminds me of exactly what the book addresses, and he is gentle in his approach.
Quote:
The best thing for me to do during one of her fits is to try to remain as calm as possible and to basically ignore her - she cannot be talked down. If we threaten to impose consequences, it often sends her even further out of control. It's exhausting and extremely frustrating.
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He doesn't advise specifically on the ADHD or OT, but rather on how to survive parenting while getting that all sorted out. Like the OT will help tremendously if you find a good one who knows about sensory issues, but what do you do in the meanwhile while waiting for that to take effect?
Here's a link to the book...
https://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Chi...sap_bc?ie=UTF8