[Bonnie]

Thank you for this thread. I needed the reinforcement.

A quick note on velcro babies. The best way I've seen it put is that if you meet a need, it goes away. If you fight it, defer it, try to beat it out of a child or condition it out, it'll come back later to bite you in the tush. (Taking serious liberties with the original quote, but a thank you to Dr. Sears) I've gotten to where I can laugh if someone says I'm coddling my 23mo dd by not peeling her off and forcing her into the nursery before she's ready, because usually the same person has just finished commenting on how wonderfully social and outgoing my almost 4yo ds is. If they know they can have me whenever they need me, they don't need to test me all the time. The insecurity I see in some of the kids, usually ones who were dropped off screaming as infants, the "coping mode" as noted in a pp...it's nothing like the security I see in children who know they have a choice. Is it hard to handle sometimes (a lot)? Oh, yeah. Especially at night. I'm so touched out I could scream. But I remind myself of my ds and how he goes to bed now with almost no argument, probably six nights out of seven, and stays in his own bed probably six nights out of seven, until morning, and I know that by meeting my dd's nighttime need for closeness I'm NOT necessarily setting myself up for cosleeping into the college years or CIO in desperation. Is it behavior I don't always enjoy? Yes. Is it something I'd consider totally unacceptable in a much older child? Certainly. Does that mean I must nip in in the bud NOW or suffer untold consequences? NO, because it's age appropriate. (Do lots of people disagree with me and counsel doom because we cosleep? Of course. Is that my problem? Only if I make it so. )