CrazyChick

Runningmama - that is precisely our situation and the attitude of our oldest - the quick to hurt the younger brother thing too - it drives us insane - i cant leave them alone together even for a minute - I like your suggestion and will definately be using it!

Marynmunchkins - i put him in his room the other day after an incident until he was ready to say sorry - there was a lot of screaming and me in and out of the room for about 30mins but eventually he calmed down and gave an amazingly lovely apology to his little brother and has been catching himself since - he keeps coming to me whispering - 'i nearly called adam and ugly bad baby then but i stopped myself' - i can see he is deliberately 'nearly' saying it and is enjoying the game of coming to tell me but it is an amazing improvement - maybe he just needed to know how serious the offence was for him to make the change and me insisting on the apology before coming out of his room again achieved that. Thanks for your clear guidance!