[runningmama]

We are right in the middle of this. We also have two boys, 5 and 2. Our oldest sings alot of songs about how bad the youngest is and talking about how he's going to smash his face. It usually has no connection with actions performed by the two year old, it's like he's singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It just comes out naturally. The oldest also can be very quick to hitting and pushing if the littlest gets into his things. So, we've started to vocalize a rule: There is no speaking or acting violence in this house. We then ask him to show gentleness to his brother. If he's not ready to do that yet, he takes some time in his room until he is ready. I realized when we started this that I've gotten into the habit of raising my voice from across the room and telling him to stop it instead of going to my son, getting on his level and helping him show kindness. When I've consistently been doing this there seems to be a positive change in his behavior. It's by no means gone, just better.