Thread: SACH review
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Old 05-05-2008, 03:21 PM   #24
CelticJourney
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Default Re: SACH review

Quote:
I think he has a good point in that we do need to "train" our children how to obey.
I think I disagree with him on this point though - perhaps because I know how he intends 'training' to be done. In Tripp's perspective, training is based on fear of punishment, not trust in the relationship. Note that children can only question AFTER they have met their parent's standard of obedience - so he has action before understanding and before a solid relationship - not an obedience that comes from relationship. I can willingly obey God because I trust Him and His perfect will for my life. I can trust the consistancy of His love and His word. I think we as the parent work to build a solid foundation of trust between us and our children. They need to trust that we will bring them no harm; trust that we will follow through with our requirements; trust that we love them.

Quote:
so in principle you are HELPING them learn to obey and helping them to obey if they need that (instead of punishing for not yet getting it).
again I would say that you are helping them to learn to trust you - that you will follow through with your requirement - and that you will do it in a loving and consistant way.

The differences are very slight, but obedience is a very delicate issue. Obedience out of fear or force is gone the moment the child realized the limits of their parent's threat of punishment. Obedience out of relationship, out of trust, is lasting and enduring.
__________________
Elizabeth

"Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep

Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19
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