Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?

canadiyank · 02-10-2006, 03:41 PM

I am so glad you found us! I have always used GBD with my kids but still stuggle with a punitive-mindset...it's not something that is easy to give up. A book that made a big difference to me was "Families Where Grace is in Place" by Jeff VanVonderen. It has to do with all family relationships, and really explains the difference between grace and wanting to control.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/155...Fencoding=UTF8

Also, one thing that helped me was to replace the word "obedience" (which, as you understood from Crystal's site, you cannot force, and it's not your job to force anyways) with "compliance" ....IOW, I expect my child to comply with what I ask her to do. I know it's worrisome to think this is being permissive, but being non-punitive does not have to equal permissiveness.

02-10-2006, 03:41 PM	#34
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM? I am so glad you found us! I have always used GBD with my kids but still stuggle with a punitive-mindset...it's not something that is easy to give up. A book that made a big difference to me was "Families Where Grace is in Place" by Jeff VanVonderen. It has to do with all family relationships, and really explains the difference between grace and wanting to control. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/155...Fencoding=UTF8 Also, one thing that helped me was to replace the word "obedience" (which, as you understood from Crystal's site, you cannot force, and it's not your job to force anyways) with "compliance" ....IOW, I expect my child to comply with what I ask her to do. I know it's worrisome to think this is being permissive, but being non-punitive does not have to equal permissiveness.

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