[Joanne]

I have fairly strong opinions and theories on this subject; they might be better suited in Intense Fellowship.

I think "leaving the faith" can be a natural, expected developmental stage. I think this is so regardless of the parenting culture/tone/style.

I also think that "leaving the faith" is a bit of a misnomer. I don't think that children, even older teen minors, can authentically choose - especially when their life experience has been Christianity imposed by the parents.

Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that you don't bring your kids to church, do family devotion, read, or study. I am suggesting, though, that humans have to have a sense of autonomy of ownership before something IS theirs. Even in the least coercive, mainline, liberalish churches coercion exists simply in the act of requiring attendance. It might be "good for them" coercion, but it IS coercion. The power and force behind parental enthusiasm for faith-based initiatives such as confirmation is HUGE. Kids, even strong, independent ones, may not feel they can express a full range of doubt, uncertainty, unwillingness, or disbelief.

Now, I think that leaving OR staying in the church can be exaggerated by extreme legalism and/or punitive parenting. I think some kids will "stay" out of the cultish dynamic. And some will seriously rebel. They are both operating out of the same place.

I also remind myself that the scriptre says "when he is OLD". My 17 year old who does not want to attend church anymore isn't old.