[daina]

Originally Posted by MegMarch

As for how to discipline, I find it helpful to look at two things. 1. What I want for a relationship with my children in the long term. 2. How I believe people are supposed to be treated.

1. I want a relationship that in time ends up with us as equals, sisters in Christ, friends even. That doesn't mean I am permissive. It means I need to know my children as people though. And to understand the difference between developmental stages and personal choices. A toddler saying "no!" is a lot different than a teen saying the same As those "nos" are different, so will my responses to them be different. Being willing to step out of "society says you need to behave, so I will make you do it" and into "what is going on for YOU, how can our family work together" is important. And with the long term goals in mind, I can step out of the intensity of moments of frustration and gain perspective that helps me handle things with more calmness and, I hope, wisdom.

2. I don't think any person should be hurt in order to learn something, for example. I think God calls us to love our neighbors, even the ones sitting on our laps. When we look at how God asks and shows us to treat others, it is easier to see how to treat our children. The Bible doesn't have a lot of parenting specific information but there is a ton in there on interpersonal relationships

Thank you. DH and I are just being challenged right now to determine if certain behaviors are emotional developmental needs or just assertiveness and rebellion. For instance, our 16mo has been very assertive against going in his stroller lately... When we need to walk him down for a nap, we have to wrestle him into the stroller sometimes(this can also happen with the carseat)... How do I know that him throwing a fit because he doesn't want to be in the stroller is different than him throwing a fit because he wants to be with mommy in the church service? Or throwing a fit because he wants mommy but needs to be with daddy for a 30 minutes?