[Treenahurricane]

While growing up in a non-Christian home, my mom felt it was best to not divorce my dad for "the kids sake".... well... what it led to was me witnessing my dad abuse his wife (my mom)... to the point where she would have bruises over her entire body and be crying but then denying it to everyone else even though everyone knew what was going on, and as I became older (by junior high), he started coming after me and because my mom's will was so broken by that point, she started siding with him rather than defending me to avoid him beating her as well... I ended up beaten repeatedly, emotionally and verbally abused almost daily, and to this day, I have held onto the bad aspects of seeing a poor relationship and struggle with my relationship with my husband and repeating the tendancies of my parents! On top of that, my parents were so prone to anger while I was growing up that I was "spanked" for every infraction they thought of... almost always with a leather belt with a metal belt buckle on bare skin. I have tried talking to my parents about it but my mom just defends herself by saying she knows it was wrong, but it was necessary. She also now blames me for my dad abusing me saying if I had been a "good enough" daughter it wouldn't have happened. The Pearl's philosophy tries to instill that "not good enough" mentality in all women in children IMO.... setting them up for abuse and poor self esteem for their entire life.