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Old 10-08-2020, 05:23 PM   #1
Leslie_JJKs_mom
Rose Garden
 
loving my family since 1991
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Rural SW Missouri
Posts: 6,945
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Default Strong willed child

Last time I was on here, I was pregnant with Kaitlyn. My pregnancy was rough. Lol, it was foreshadowing things to come.
Kaitlyn can be so strong willed. She gets mad and screams in fury, but she's not an angry child. She is very strong willed though.
Jessica was so easy. I used to think people who had issues with their children just did it wrong. I would think all you have to do is explain to them why they have to do this then they will say okay Mommy and do it.
Me now...🤣🤣🤣🤣
Kaitlyn will look me in the eye and say no I'm not doing it and you can't make me. She has been this way from the beginning.
I have to say there have been some mommy moments I am not proud of. , especially when none of the tools I learned here worked. I've lost my cool. Yelled, been punative and not gentle. I've done time outs, taken away her toys, tablet, TV...
I've listened to others who insisted if I don't get her under control now, she will be a little hellion.
She's not at all. She's gotten to a place that most of the time, she's very well behaved and when she's upset, I can talk her down.
I hate that I've listened to others though. I hate that at times I feel like if I take my 7 year old in my arms to calm her down, it's giving into her and I let her sit in her room and cry.
It's time for a restart.
So, with a strong willed child who will not always just say okay, how do you pull them out of that place?
She'll get mad about something she can't have or do and she gets rude and mean. Like one time she was mad and slammed grandma's trinket or her door.
Grandma will ask her a question and Kaitlyn will be mean in return. Most times Kaitlyn is a sweetheart, so it's not an everyday thing. Sometimes saying that wasn't very nice will stop it, other times, it just escalates her anger and she gets worse.
Once I get mad and yell... oh my. It gets really bad. She starts yelling you dont love me, you're so mean, you never let me...
And then when it finally stops, she comes to me this shattered little girl and asks if I still love her. I have never come close to saying I don't love her or even acting like it. No one in our family ever has, so I can only guess she is also highly sensitive.
This tips my heart apart. Of course I do. Just because I'm mad and yelled or sent her to her room doesnt mean I dont love her.
I'm looking for tools for her to channel her feelings without being mean to her sister, grandma, dad in a way that doesn't leave her feeling insecure and unsure if our love is really unconditional.
__________________
Leslie (ISFP)


Mommy to our valentine sweetheart, Jessica Lynn, and March Jellybean, Kaitlyn Elizabeth. My heart is overflowing with love for my precious girls.



Wife to my best friend

Homeschooling, sometimes co sleeping mommy to a teenager and sweet little one
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Leslie_JJKs_mom For This Useful Post:
everybody's mother (10-09-2020), FlyingBlueKiwi (10-09-2020)
 
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