Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - ETLDTD -week 2, day 5 -- 7/11/8

tempus vernum · 07-11-2008, 05:51 AM

I FINALLY did the reading

I thought carefully and I actually think I have come really far. WHat's left of my "passive agressive" behavior is more "wishywashy" than anything.

Example -- last night during bedtime reading. The kids are supposed to be lying down while I read and relaxing.

Alyssa was arranging all her stuffed animals, plaing with them (standing, sitting)
I stopped and said "Alyssa. . . (I did wait for her attention

) What are you supposed to be doing right now? . . .. I was really asking and waiting. . .. then I realized what I was doing -- giving an indirect command, not assertive . . . and I said "lie down and relax your body." she looked at me startled and responded "I am arranging my stuffed animals and getting the bed ready to crawl in" I said "finish quickly and hop in the bed, pull up the sheet and relax" She did.

I do this often - ask my kids what they were supposed to do

In a very kind way because I'd like them to remember but I still want to stop

today's goals (to be added to the goals from the beginning of the week
1. stop asking my kids "what are you supposed to be doing right now?" or "what did I ask you to do" - give directives
2. utilize assertivenes with my dh - I tend to be not assertive in this relationship
3. slow down and use nonverbal communication with my verbal commhnication AFTER I have the child's attention
4. Add p 96 to my cheat sheets and DO IT
5. p 77 (drop 2 beliefs from column A, pick up 2 from Column B)

07-11-2008, 05:51 AM	#2
tempus vernum Rose Garden I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 28,913	Re: ETLDTD -week 2, day 5 -- 7/11/8 I FINALLY did the reading I thought carefully and I actually think I have come really far. WHat's left of my "passive agressive" behavior is more "wishywashy" than anything. Example -- last night during bedtime reading. The kids are supposed to be lying down while I read and relaxing. Alyssa was arranging all her stuffed animals, plaing with them (standing, sitting) I stopped and said "Alyssa. . . (I did wait for her attention ) What are you supposed to be doing right now? . . .. I was really asking and waiting. . .. then I realized what I was doing -- giving an indirect command, not assertive . . . and I said "lie down and relax your body." she looked at me startled and responded "I am arranging my stuffed animals and getting the bed ready to crawl in" I said "finish quickly and hop in the bed, pull up the sheet and relax" She did. I do this often - ask my kids what they were supposed to do In a very kind way because I'd like them to remember but I still want to stop today's goals (to be added to the goals from the beginning of the week 1. stop asking my kids "what are you supposed to be doing right now?" or "what did I ask you to do" - give directives 2. utilize assertivenes with my dh - I tend to be not assertive in this relationship 3. slow down and use nonverbal communication with my verbal commhnication AFTER I have the child's attention 4. Add p 96 to my cheat sheets and DO IT 5. p 77 (drop 2 beliefs from column A, pick up 2 from Column B) __________________ ~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ”

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
Page Generation 0.04915 seconds Memory Usage 6,954KB Queries Executed 14 (?)
More Information
Template Usage: (1)SHOWTHREAD_SHOWPOST (1)ad_footer_end (1)ad_footer_start (1)ad_header_end (1)ad_header_logo (1)ad_navbar_below (1)cyb_flashimagebanners (1)footer (1)gobutton (1)header (1)headinclude (19)option (1)post_groan_box (1)post_groan_javascript (1)post_groan_navbar_search (1)post_thanks_box (1)post_thanks_javascript (1)post_thanks_navbar_search (1)postbit_legacy (1)postbit_onlinestatus (11)postbit_reputation (1)postbit_wrapper (1)spacer_close (1)spacer_open Phrase Groups Available: global postbit reputationlevel showthread	Included Files: ./showpost.php ./global.php ./includes/init.php ./includes/class_core.php ./includes/config.php ./includes/functions.php ./includes/class_hook.php ./includes/functions_notice.php ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php ./includes/functions_bigthree.php ./includes/class_postbit.php ./includes/class_bbcode.php ./includes/functions_reputation.php ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php ./includes/functions_post_groan.php ./includes/functions_misc.php Hooks Called: init_startup cache_permissions fetch_postinfo_query fetch_postinfo fetch_threadinfo_query fetch_threadinfo fetch_foruminfo style_fetch cache_templates global_start parse_templates fetch_musername notices_check_start global_setup_complete showpost_start bbcode_fetch_tags bbcode_create postbit_factory showpost_post postbit_display_start post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end post_groan_function_groaned_already_start post_groan_function_groaned_already_end reputation_image bbcode_parse_start postbit_imicons bbcode_parse_complete_precache bbcode_parse_complete postbit_display_complete error_fetch showpost_complete
Messages: