Shepherding A Child's Heart talks about relationships, but also talks about spanking if the child doesn't show fist time obedience. The only example I recall was the child being told it's bedtime and to put away to crayons and colorbooks. The child should be spanked if they asked to continue coloring before getting up-they should immediately start cleaning up and THEN ask to continue. I found that strange; why can't they ask me if they can keep coloring if they want? I can always say no!
I do think that spanking damages the relationship between parents and child, therefore I think that it has no business in my parenting tool box. Have I used it? absolutely. Did it work? right away, yeah, but it took me a long time to rebuild what i destroyed by using that tool.
I could remodel my house with a hammer, and work on one room at a time, or I could use a bulldozer, and have to rebuild every room at once. The bulldozer is easier right away, but rebuilding each room at the same time wouldn't be worth the first time ease of the bulldozer.