butterflymommy

Hi,
I am new here. I am here because the Pearls badly influenced me. They are a ministry to families. I think it is relevant to discuss how they were poor shepards to my family. We were lambs relying on thir guidance with our family. After six years with the Pearls, I can truly attest that they are scary people that hurt my flock! My heart is sad, but at rest for cutting the strings! KWIM? I need a fresh look, and this idea of gentle parenting appeals to me, but doesn't, at the same time. I have parented one way for so long. I afraid of losing what works and not sure if I can change. The Pearls way worked, but at a sad cost of my sweet chidren's hearts. I want to lose the adversarial relationship I built up around my relationship with my children. I'm scared that I will fail, though. I have very sweet, loving children. I am also very loving to them. I do not spank a lot or yell a lot. I, do, however HATE it when they disobey. It makes me sick to my stomach that I feel that way,but that is the truth. They are not rebellious, except some little things, which we normally work out easily. I am afraid that I will create little brats if I do not train them like I have been. I think my big thing will be when I give them a command, like, come here, and they won't come like I expect them to, what then? According to the Pearl's methods, they would get spanked for not obeying a command with no warning, just a "whap" until they come with a sweet smile. I looked at the 5 steps that GCM posted and it confuses me. After making the first command, am I to make an additional request, then if they still won't obey, do a lot of pleading, then if that doesn't work, go get them myself, and if that doesn't work, go and give them a bear hug? All the while, not angry that they are ignoring me? All the while feeling OK with their behavior? That doesn't feel right to me. It seems just like a silly dance that will leave me looking like a fool and my children will become brats. Be gentle with me, mothers...These are just some thoughts about how difficult this GCM parenting will be for me. I know this way is right, but I just don't know if I can pull it off?