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Old 04-06-2005, 10:41 PM   #8
tui_song
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Default Re: what made you change?

I grew up in a family that spanked and always intended to do the same. I guess it was Dobson-style discipline. I started spanking my daughter and found that it brought out a side of my personality that I really detest. I was very angry and controlling. Also it didn't work. She kept doing the same things even if she was smacked for it. However she was starting to fear me and our relationship was being harmed. It is so awful to think about it now. I spent a lot of time praying and crying when she had gone to bed at night, wondering where I had gone wrong. I read Dobson's book and tried to go exactly as he taught, but it didn't help. Then I found GCM (I was interested in elimination communication!) and learnt about GBD, and slowly I am changing and learning a new way of parenting. My in-laws disagree with spanking but they didn't say anything to me about it (I don't think they realised that I was spanking my dd). My father agreed with it. I don't think my mother did, but she is extremely non-confrontational so didn't try to convince me otherwise.

I have talked to one of my friends who has a son who will be a year old this month about GBD. She had read Babywise and followed it when her son was little (he was bottle-fed), but was concerned about their teaching on discipline. I hope to talk to her about it again soon. I guess I did it deliberately. I had just started reading the book 'Grace Based Discipline' by Tim Kimmel and started talking about the book. I find it pretty easy to talk to people about exciting things I am learning because I love sharing my findings with others.
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