butterflymommy

Wow! I just read this from the Possitive Parenting Site about "Get Off Your But Parenting" (I love that title!!)
GOYBP Do’s:
1) Say “it” once. Issue the command, once, and only once.
2) Follow “it” up with related action, moving the child into compliance.

GOYBP Don’ts:
1) Don’t repeat yourself.
2) Don’t tag your commands with “please.”
3) Don’t say your child’s name over and over with an implied threat of punishment.

The "DO's" is totally what I do when I really didn't want to spank my kids. It is OK that I get in there and help my children do the right thing if they won't comply, like taking my sons hand and putting him back to bed. I am still being consistent. I am still expecting them to obey. I am still loving them and not just giving empty threats or begging.

example: My son asked me for help. Well, I heard him "cry/whining in the playroom. So, I went back there, and asked him what he needed? He wanted the Thomas train set put together. I said, "Sure, but the other toys need to be put back. So, he immedieately started to put the other toys away. i praised and helped him, too. He wasn't done yet, and I told him to get the container for the little cars. He didn't obey. He just started to dilly-dally by playing with a car. I didn't say another word. I took him by the hand and led him to the container and I picked it up and put it in his hand. At first, he thought I was leadining him to the "rod of correction" because I felt his body tense up and he whispered a "no, mom." As soon as he realized that there was no spanking, he was so chearful and he went right to the cars and with my help we put them all away. as soon as that was done, he sang a little song, "I put it away, all clean, All done!" How special. How lovely. No drama of the normal spanking and he rejoiced in cleaning!