Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?

02-10-2006, 02:11 PM

Thank you, ladies. I am holding back the tears. I have just read through the entire Arms of Love Website while nursing my baby and feeding and caring for my children. I love the part about the meaning of the rod, spanking, and obeying. Let me see if I understand this? The rod was not meant to permit a spanking? Rather, the rod is ‘reasoning” or teaching the child truth, grace, love, lessons, by words and actions? If I treat my children with care and respect and teach them rules with firmness and love, this will drive that bounded foolishness that is not controlling them, far from them? But, by my parenting, I will keep that foolishness from them? They will one day choose to obey me (well, I see a lot of that now), but that is their responsibility, not mine to force on them? But, I still need to have rules that they need to follow. But, I need to make up in my mind that I am teaching them how to obey, not forcing an act of obedience.

Example…My son just had a bowl of soup. He said, “All done,” but did not eat his noodles or veggies. I told him that he needs to eat the food given to him (house rule). He said, OK, and finished his soup. Is this the instruction, reasoning that verse describes? Later when he put his dishes in the sink, he threw the bowl and spoon rather hard into the sink. I told him that throwing dishes in the sink is not OK. I took the bowl and spoon out and told him to always put the dishes in gently so they won’t break. He did. I praised him. And he was a giggly little 2yr old. Then, off he ran to play. Is this how GCM do it? I do this all the time.

The whole thing with my anger, or my dissatisfaction with him not obeying (getting out of bed, playing in the bathroom at 5AM (today), whining, etc.) is so difficult to process. I am so used to a Me-against-You attitude with my children. You obey me and if you don’t I will MAKE you…and you’ll like it! Blah.

So, if you wake up to your 2 yr old making a HUGE water mess in the bathroom, what do you do? How do you NOT get angry???

Thank you for being a soft place for me to land….I need A LOT of GRACE!

02-10-2006, 02:11 PM	#21
butterflymommy Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM? Thank you, ladies. I am holding back the tears. I have just read through the entire Arms of Love Website while nursing my baby and feeding and caring for my children. I love the part about the meaning of the rod, spanking, and obeying. Let me see if I understand this? The rod was not meant to permit a spanking? Rather, the rod is ‘reasoning” or teaching the child truth, grace, love, lessons, by words and actions? If I treat my children with care and respect and teach them rules with firmness and love, this will drive that bounded foolishness that is not controlling them, far from them? But, by my parenting, I will keep that foolishness from them? They will one day choose to obey me (well, I see a lot of that now), but that is their responsibility, not mine to force on them? But, I still need to have rules that they need to follow. But, I need to make up in my mind that I am teaching them how to obey, not forcing an act of obedience. Example…My son just had a bowl of soup. He said, “All done,” but did not eat his noodles or veggies. I told him that he needs to eat the food given to him (house rule). He said, OK, and finished his soup. Is this the instruction, reasoning that verse describes? Later when he put his dishes in the sink, he threw the bowl and spoon rather hard into the sink. I told him that throwing dishes in the sink is not OK. I took the bowl and spoon out and told him to always put the dishes in gently so they won’t break. He did. I praised him. And he was a giggly little 2yr old. Then, off he ran to play. Is this how GCM do it? I do this all the time. The whole thing with my anger, or my dissatisfaction with him not obeying (getting out of bed, playing in the bathroom at 5AM (today), whining, etc.) is so difficult to process. I am so used to a Me-against-You attitude with my children. You obey me and if you don’t I will MAKE you…and you’ll like it! Blah. So, if you wake up to your 2 yr old making a HUGE water mess in the bathroom, what do you do? How do you NOT get angry??? Thank you for being a soft place for me to land….I need A LOT of GRACE!

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