[Pilgrim]

My parents spanked us, and it was a frequently used tool even though it was not the only tool in their toolbox. I had already decided that if I ever had children, I would not spank as they did because it wasn't that effective for me personally.

Then I began volunteering at a domestic violence shelter and learned the connection between violence/anger and control. I worked with the children who lived in the shelter and our lessons stressed that "hands are not for hitting" and physical punishment was not allowed in the shelter. So that reinforced other options rather than spanking.

Reading here has been the biggest change--things like if you spank, you still have to redirect, and the ideas of showing grace, and treating children as if they are people. I'm glad that I started reading here before Babe was born, because I have already received advice to consider smacking his hands instead of redirecting at 8 months. Straight into the circular file.