[ReadingMommy]

Originally Posted by kdhfly

For me it was a combination of things. I started off thinking we would spank because I had been indoctrinated by my parents on all the evils of those with "spanking deficits". Not that my parents spanked often, maybe two or three times my whole life and I only remember one, but boy did they talk about it a lot. Then we took a dobson class and read sach, which just solidified the "need" to spank, although I did find sach to be kind of odd, and definitely did not agree with all his conclusions. So, with that background, here are the things that affected me. One, i found that I was far more likely to think dd1 was being "defiant" and in need of a spanking if I was tired or feeling bad. I'm big on consistency, so it bothered me that how I felt affected the lens wih which I saw dd1. Then, I was in a bible study for mothers and many of them spanked multiple times a day! I started thinking that there has got to be another way. Plus dd1 was starting to hit a lot, and spanking for hitting just didn't make sense. We were following all the other ap parenting stuff and I thought that there must be Christian ap parents somewhere in the world. So I googled christian ap, which led to the goyb site, which led me here. In the last year and a half, my parenting and theology! have dramatically changed for the better (I hope). Oh, one final thing that sealed the deal for no more spanking was the realization that dd1 was scared of me. It broke my heart. It took a whole year (we stopped when she was two) for her to stop talking about spanking, especially for spanking for getting out of bed, which is one of the rules my mom talked me in to "for safety" ugh. Anyways, I love gcm and all of your wisdom!

ETA: regarding consistency, gbd makes so much more sense: I can continuously be teaching correct behaviors without having to determine intent, which was so freeing to me.

"Spanking deficits"=the reason for behavior problems. Yup. I grew up hearing that all the time. Even parroted it myself.

I like your points about consistency and wondering "where does the spanking stop?" If spanking is the cure-all for bad behavior, shouldn't more equal better? Nope, even pro-spankers don't usually agree with that. But we CAN say that about GBD!

---------- Post added at 11:53 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:48 AM ----------

How many of those kids did you know growing up who NO AMOUNT of spanking would "fix"? I knew plenty. If spanking is biblically prescribed, would that be the case?