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Old 03-20-2005, 11:59 AM   #12
greenemama
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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Default Re: help me with my comfort corner

Quote:
"I'm disgusted at the way you've been behaving today. Your children deserve better than this. What kind of a mother do you think you are? You need to go into your room for 30 minutes (1 minute per year wink ) and really think about how bad you are. I will come and get you in 1/2 hour and then I will be nice to you."
okay, this is hilarious.

i've really been reminded A LOT lately that we are to treat our children as we treat other adults. and as we want other adults to treat us. and as we want our children to treat us. thanks for these reminders!

i've had unsolicited apologies before, so i know what you mean by that. but sometimes henry just starts apologizing for stuff that's silly, he's just talking and not really apologizing for anything -- nothing needs to be apologized for. and sometimes i think he's just saying he's sorry because it's been modelled to him, not because he knows what he's saying. i do request apologies, saying something like, "would you like to tell mommy you're sorry for X" and he nearly always says he's sorry. i guess asking like that, IMO, is encouraging good skills, not making him apologize, kwim? off subject, i know. but i guess it applies because the cuddle corner *is* a disciplinary tool, isn't it? and it's best to be teaching kiddos that an apology should follow an offense, right? mostly through modeling, but does prompting hurt?

are there times that you insist a child go to the cuddle corner, even though they resist? is this a normal occurance, to resist it? henry will tell me, "i don't want to sit here!" and he'll be screaming, etc. i understand you say you use the five steps to get them there, so i'm assuming that the cuddle corner is not optional. is it perceived as a time out if the child doesn't want to go there? does it matter if the child finds it a negative place to be, even though it really is not a negative place, even though there are comforting things there, etc.

thanks for bearing with me. i'm hoping to *really* work on this these next few weeks. dh is intrigued and impressed with the super nanny's naughty step and i understand why -- it really works to mention the naughty chair and get good behavior. so i want an effective alternative that he won't find permissive.
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