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Old 03-05-2011, 07:49 PM   #13
Chaos Coordinator
Rose Garden
 
They need freedom to just be fluffy mashed potatoes and feel their fluffy feelings.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Up to my earballs in little boys.
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Default Re: "Is This Punitive?" is missing the point of GBD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katigre View Post
"What response teaches/enforces healthy boundaries?"
"Will this response help keep everyone safe?"
"What values do I want to teach in this situation?" (respect, patience, kindness, etc...)"
"Will my response teach them a pattern for how to act in the future?"


i can ask myself these questions all day, but when you've grown up entrenched in harsh punitive discipline, physical punishment, shaming, and the like, you dont have a healthy concept of boundaries, you justify spanking by saying that it keeps them safe, you equate fear with respect, and refer to principles of b-mod to teach patterns for how to act.

and this is coming from someone who found this website when my firstborn was an infant. i cannot imagine how difficult it must be when you've been parenting for a long time before trying to make the switch.
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Joy
Progressive Methodist
Enfp mama to
Sparrow, 10
Zion, 7.5
Baby Gus, 4.5

Preschool teacher. Musician. Timelord.
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"What you plant in the kingdom will surely grow, and what you grow with love will surely bloom, and the fruit of the spirit will come back to you."


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