View Single Post
Old 01-01-2018, 09:49 PM   #10
CelticJourney
Administrator
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 30,812
CelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: siblings arguing

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpeasmommy View Post
I think I would have two separate conversations. Would the 10 year old respond to a more logical approach like law and order style? Like if you are speeding, you get a traffic ticket and points on your license. You donít get 10 lashes kwim? ...

With the 7, ...I have had to be really direct that when you annoy people on purpose, eventually they are going to snap. Everyone has a limit and if you are pushing that limit, you arenít exactly innocent yk?...
I went to a hs conference years ago and someone did a talk on teaching boys. Now his traits were stereotypes and he admitted it, but the point kinda works. He said: 'you have to be honest with both genders. You have to tell boys 'making noise constantly and moving around at the table bothers girls. Someday you'll want girls to like you, so practice now not annoying them away' And then you tell the girls 'I know you like it nice and quiet and no distractions, but you are going to have to learn to be a little patient with the boys. Someday you'll kinda like them and it's good to have practice at patience now.'

So I'd listen to their stories. You kinda know how it is going to end. 7yo was being annoying and 10yo lost his patience. Give them the lecture once: 'there are annoying people in life, you are going to learn some patience for dealing with them' and 'annoying people makes them not want you around. If you want to be around 10yo, you need to learn ways to be with him but not frustrate him.'

So incident happens and your words are few after that: 'work on your patience' and 'annoying people makes you unwelcome. We're going to leave 10yo alone for now.'

Not sure if it would work, but it's worth a try. If you can keep them apart while you are nursing, that would be great. If 7yo does any independent hs work, maybe that is her time to get that done.
__________________
Elizabeth

"Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep

Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19
CelticJourney is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to CelticJourney For This Useful Post:
Aerynne (01-02-2018), everybody's mother (01-02-2018), homesteadmama (01-03-2018), mommychem (01-04-2018), OnAMission (01-02-2018), Quiteria (01-02-2018)